Black smoke from Girardian Chapel signals that Yankees still haven't found a leftfielder

TAMPA _ Day 20 of the pinstripe papal conclave dawned under stormy skies Wednesday as Yankee leaders gathered inside the famous Steinbrenner Boatworks/Inheritance Tax Money Laundering complex to select the team's leftfielder in a fresh round of tryouts.

The lack of consensus on Tuesday was revealed by a plume of black smoke billowed from the head of the team's general manager. The  smoke was believed to represent the charred remains of Scott Proctor's glove and jersey, which had been archived by Yankee bullpen catchers from Opus Torre, a secret knighthood of the Evil Empire. 

 On Tuesday, the Yankees welcomed a new scrap heap player as candidate for the left field vacancy. Ben Francisco arrived at the crematorium, and was immediately hailed as a leading alternative, based on the fact that he might hit .240, hasn't been charged with steroid abuse and - most importantly - will not cost a lot of money.

The black smoke is likely to continue for at least two more weeks, as the Yankees await the powers in baseball - the Cardinals, Giants, Dodgers, in fact every team except the Padres - to make their final cuts. The Yankees hope to then swoop in and sign the magical leftfielder who might hit as much as .250 and - most importantly - cost next to nothing.

When that special moment occurs, white smoke will billow over Tampa. It will come from the burning of Alex Rodriguez's contract, in effigy. Across the world, Yankee fans await that golden moment.