Philosophy of Tampa 101: Another meaningless day, another meaningless loss. Everything means nothing.

Grasshopper, put down cell phone. Think with me...

Game of spring training mean nothing. But early game of spring training mean even less than final game of spring training, which mean more nothing. Thus, seven-game losing streak in month of February mean less than less than nothing.

Is like Prince, artist formerly known as Artist Formerly Known as Prince.

So when team lose game with below nothing importance, it is true victory of mind. So Yankee team have seven-game win streak going... of mind.

We may lose again today, Grasshopper. Do you know what I would say to this possibility? I say, ha! I say it victory of mind. I say, go ahead, empire of evil: Lose five more. Ten more. Ha. It mean nothing. No. Less than nothing. It mean everything, because everything is nothing.

If we get all less-than-nothing losses done, we go undefeated in regular season. Error by Eduardo now is error Eduardo not make in April, at least in New York. Stewart cannot get ejected from game that does not happen. Today not matter. Everything mean nothing. Why so difficult to understand? Stop typing in cell phone, Grasshopper. Does Master need Twitter account to get out message?

If Yankee tree fall in the forest, but no great star climbing it, nobody hears crunch.

Which come first, the boo or the Youk?   

Yankees not play players so Yankees not waste them. Jeet not have many innings left, so must be rationed, like peyote button on raft. Frankly, I not play Jeet until June. Who decided to play Grandyman last week? If we sit Grandyman, we still have him. Now, he gone. Like A-Rod. Like Pineda. Like fans. Like everything.

Grasshopper, this is Year of Zolio. Embrace Yankee loss. Cashman know truth. He jumping out of planes. If parachute not open, he not make whoosh. He go "Yooouk." Who pitching today? Ichiro?