The Abyss Gazes Back

FIFTY THOUSAND MOONS

Monday, March 25, 2013

No youth, no hope, no plan: Vernon Wells is a Yankee? Where was the money back in December?

In December - as Yankee fans watched Russell Martin, Nick Swisher and Rafael Soriano march toward the exit; as Torii Hunter, Josh Hamilton and Melky Cabrera knocked on the door, without so much as a response - Isiah Cashman uttered the famous new policy of the Steinbrother era: "Beggars can't be choosers."

Theoretically, it meant the sons of the owner were instituting a new strategic plan: The team would shrink its payroll to $189 million by 2014 and avoid paying taxes. (If there was a stadium in the Cayman Islands, they would be playing there now.) The Yankees would develop players through its farm system and avoid massive financial debts.

Then it signed Ichiro Suzuki to a two-year contract.

Today, the Yankees are on the verge of assuming the debt mountain of Vernon Wells, a 34-year-old, 230-pound DH, who has hit .222 over the last two years and almost never draws a base on balls. They have done this in an apparent attempt to placate a fan base increasingly angered over such disastrous policies.

Vernon Wells...  dear God, where do you start? Where do you begin to discuss this looming horror show? 

This is the equivalent of the Republican Party in 2008 thinking that all it needed to do to win the African-American vote was appoint Michael Steele as chairman.

This is the late 1980s all over again - when George's reaction to adversity was always to run out and sign a downward spiraling DH. Remember Ron Kittle? Ron Hassey? Matt Nokes? Steve Kemp? Danny Tartabull? Back then - in the days of Richard Dotson - we had two starting pitchers and a six-man DH rotation.

Dammit, look LOOK at our DH depth: Travis Hafner (who doesn't own a glove.) Derek Jeter (who is limping and unable to play SS). Juan Rivera (who can't play first) and now Vernon Wells - three years away from his last big season, when he hit 31 home runs (and only drove in 88; how do you do that?)


This is horrible. This is how you become Jay Leno's nightly joke line. This is how you lose New York City to the Mets. Does anybody expect this guy to hit? WHY? If we put Melky Mesa in CF, at least we wouldn't know what we were getting. With Vernon Wells, we know the deal: If he goes on a roll in April, he'll simply go 0-for-May. This is Andruw Jones all over again. HOW COULD WE DO THIS? WHAT ARE THEY THINKING? WHO IS RUNNING THIS SHOW? HOW DO YOU SIT BACK AND LET A POPULAR YANKEE LIKE NICK SWISHER WALK, AND THEN JUSTIFY PAYING WHATEVER THE HELL THEY INTEND TO PAY VERNON WELLS? AND DON'T TELL ME IT'S ALL ABOUT NOT PAYING HIM NEXT YEAR! HE WON'T BE ON THE TEAM NEXT YEAR. AND THE $189 MILLION BUDGET WILL BE A JOKE NEXT YEAR. BY AUGUST, WE'RE GOING TO BE IN LAST PLACE, BEHIND THE REDSOCKS, AND WE'RE GOING TO BE LOOKING FOR A TEAM TO TAKE THIS BLOAT OFF OUR HANDS, AND NOBODY IS GOING TO DO IT. THIS TEAM IS ABOUT TO GO DOWN FOR THREE OR FIVE YEARS. AND ANYBODY WHO THINKS IT WAS FUN IN THE 1980S - THAT'S NOSTALGIA WITHOUT MEMORY. IT WAS NOT FUN, AND IT'S NOT FUN NOW WATCHING THE EXACT SAME TYPE OF HISTORY PLAY OUT. GAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH-oh, my chest... pain... dkioiueoawijea;jkf




13 comments:

John M said...

Yep. Horrible. But this is why:

'A person familiar with the negotiations said the sides were bargaining over the money that would be included in a trade. Wells is owed $42 million over the next two seasons, and the Yankees anticipated they would end up being responsible for about $12 million to $13 million of that total.'

In other words, we aren't spending 12 or 13 million. We're saving almost 30!!! Wow!! This is better than a sale at Kohl's!!!

Tom said...

Hey, now! Vernon Wells was a pretty darn good player, 5 or 6 years ago.
I think my active interest in this season will be quite limited.

Papa John said...

you can ring my bell, vernon wells
you can ring my bell, vernon wells

SanJoseKid said...

So, Wells + Youkilis= $24 million, but the SteinBros couldn't afford Swisher or Melky Cabrera? And what is sticking in my gut is the point Bennyboy made yesterday. We handed over to the Cleveland Indians a legitimate starter for Austin Kearns. No patience with Ian Kennedy, no foresight with Tyler Clippard. And the SteinBros actually pay US dollars to Brian cashman, the skydiving lothario? Agh! Vernon Bleeping Wells. Who is going to pay those ticket prices to watch Juan Rivera learn to play first base, and Nunez throw the ball 10 rows up above the first base dugout? Dave Collins, anyone?

Mustang said...

They need to extend A-Rod's contract.

Hank Steinbrenner said...

Y'know, we could save more money if we fired the ball boys and let the disabled A-Rod & disabled Jeter field those errant fouls. They could sign the baseballs as they passed them up to the stands, to the highest bidder of course. That way fans DO get to see their favorite players, even if on crutches, manning a stool on the foul line. Damn, I'm a genius.

bennyboy said...

Why didn't we take the $13 million we're giving to Vernon Wells, and sign A.J. Pierzynski? I don't get it.

We have no catcher.

I don't get it.

Tom said...

and for this they will still be charging $14 for a 16 oz beer.

John Sterling said...

With a lineup like this, drink heavily regardless of the cost!

DOC ELLIS, RHP said...

Forget the booze. You fans better drop some acid, now!

John M said...

We don't need another catcher, bennyboy. We have Frankie Cervelli. Good defense, been throwing out a lot more runners, and he can't hit. Girardi feels like he's looking in a mirror, and likes the cut of this man's jib. In a nice way, I mean--look just because he's a guy who works out way too much, is wound incredibly too tight, shaves his head in a manly fashion and hangs around guys in jockstraps all day has anything going on under the surface that he's hiding by a stoic attitude and heavy Jesus-ism. No, sirree, he just likes the cut of Frankie's jib.

Joe Girardi, manager of the 2013 New York Yankees said...

The thing I like about Cervelli is that he's MANLY. Sure, he's got long lashes and in the dying twilight sometimes he's downright pretty. But Cervelli is butch, tough, just what a catcher should be. Cervelli's boyish good looks don't obscure the fact that he is so masculine it hurts. It really does hurt. Pain. Searing pain throughout the torso. That's how manly this crazy Mexican is. That's why you punk ass, overweight fans ought to love the guy. So, get out there on Opening Day. PLENTY OF SEATS AVAILABLE! And have one of those $14 6 oz. beers for me! I'll be in the dugout, flashin' signs to Cervelli, behind the plate, calling a great game and throwing out runners like he's shootin' jack-rabbits south of the Border.

el duque said...

Cervelli is Rick Cerone with Betty Davis eyes.