Monday, March 25, 2013

The Yankiverse is RAVING over the acquisition of Vernon Wells

IAATM: ... "This off-season has now officially hit rock bottom..."

Sports Illustrated: "... it’s an unappealing set of options..."

Yahoo: ... "Desperation, thy outfit is pinstripes."

Fangraphs:  "... there’s no other explanation except that the Yankees are desperate..."

Bleacher Report: "... utterly pointless and atrocious..."

IIHIIFIIc. "... kill them! Now! Kill all the Yankee brass..." 

Alphonso: "... Tina Fey and Paul Rudd sizzle! An A-plus! Get your admission to 'Admissions' soon..."


Tom said...

Vernon Oh Wells is the the cherry on top, the final insult, the last piece of the puzzle that diagrams the professional incometence of Cashman and the greed-uber-alles approach of the Von Steingrabbers (TM Bill Gallo). I hope the stadium is embarrassingly empty all season long.

The Socialist Workers' Party newsletter "The Militant" said...

The acquisition of a degenerate and corrupt outfield for the price of millions of dollars demonstrates how Yankee executives plan to exploit the working classes of New York and New Jersey. A sham of a sports organization fobs off bread and circuses to uncomprehending proletarians. The spectacle of teary-eyed workers sipping $14 beers that they cannot afford would break the heart of the most cynical community organizer. All sport is class struggle, comrades. NATIONALIZE THE YANKEES! Take your team from the greedy capitalist pigs snorting in their trough in distant Florida!

Mustang said...


Finally, a sensible idea.

Masonry Heaters, RHP, former Yankee rookie standout said...

Wow! Melky Mesa and I arrived earlier today at the Angels' training complex. Got nice uniforms with low numbers on the back. Pujols invited us to play cards at his condo, and he had real Cuban cigars! Most of our new teammates cannot refrain from making jokes about Vernon Wells, calling him "Methuselah Wells". They laughed the most about how they had slipped money to opposing pitchers to groove fastballs down the middle of the plate so Vernon would have lots of hits and clobber those 3 home runs. They wanted to get rid of him and figured the best way to do that was to make it look like he had regained batspeed and has an acute eye for the strike zone. I was a little offended when they referred to Brian as "that horny little sucker Cashman". But, nice to be with a new team! How is Vernon settling in as a Yankee?

BernBabyBern said...

Interesting that you quote "Bleacher Report." The Yankees are heading toward becoming the "Bleacher Report" of baseball. The site tells everybody how great it is, how influential it is and how high-quality the product is. But anybody who actually looks at it knows it's a piece of crap and the owners really don't care if it's any good because it's making money.