I'm still angry. I've got the Rage Virus from 28 Days Later. I'm in the foam-at-the-mouth phase of Elisabeth Kubler Ross' five stages of grief. Last night, if we'd lost 14-2 - just pitched infielders and switched the JumboTron to the NFL - my gums wouldn't still be bleeding. I WISH I HAD NEVER BEEN BORN! I CURSE THIS UNIVERSE FOR GIVING ME LIFE.
1. If I never lived, I would not have had to watch Ichiro strike out with men on second and third, flailing at ball four, when a simple ground ball scores a crucial run. Here's the Master Craftsman, the Grand Tactician of the Game... the future HOF blah-blah-blah... chasing a pitch like a beagle in heat, and ending a rally that could have changed our night. Yeesh, I am soooooo dreading the sight of this twinkle-toed Sushi chef in a Yankee uniform next year. When he's hitting .220 without power or walks - (as opposed to .270 without power or walks) - he's going to make Ben Francisco look like Barry Bonds. Thank you, Hal Steinbrenner.
2. If I never lived, I would not have had to watch Preston Claiborne pitch beyond his sale date. As the lone 2013 tomato from the rock garden of our vaunted farm system - (does Zolio count?) - Claiborne is rotting before our eyes - like our bullpen, which carried us all season. No lead is safe. I'm starting to call for Dellin Betances. Yeah, it's that bad.
3. If I never lived, I would not have had to watch A-Rod and Jeter botch two successive fielding plays in a critical sequence with the bases loaded. Arod couldn't snare a ball to his right. Jeter couldn't find second base and turn a DP. Neither were errors. Both were plays those guys would have made three years ago. Jeter should be DHing, and Ichiro should be a defensive replacement.
4. If I never lived, I would not have had to watch Alphonso Soriano picked off second. Listen: we gave up Cody Black, a great pitching prospect, to get this guy. Ever since, we've congratulated ourselves. But if you think of Soriano as the latest incarnation of Vernon Wells, Travis Hafner, Andruw Jones, et al - which he is - you have to wonder about the wisdom of Yankee deadline deals. Next June, he'll be hitting .222, while we continue to trot him out there in the grand modern tradition of overpaid Yankee mediocrity. This week, in a minor league playoff game, Cody Black pitched five shutout innings. If we're ever going to turn the Yankees around, it starts with biting the bullet and avoiding the Sorianos of the world. I'm sorry. That's how I feel this morning. Picked off second? At his age? Unbelievable. (And Vernon Wells was lucky, by the way, on an attempt to steal third. What were they thinking?)
5. If I never lived, I would not have had to watch Romine's bouncing throws to second. What happened to him? His throws beat both of the runners. If they reach the bag in the air, they're out, and we win the game. Then - Ichiro makes a heroic throw to the plate, and Romine doesn't hold it? Yes, it was a short hop. Winners make those plays. Last night, Romine looked like pug. So we're back to Chris "0-for-August" Stewart?
6. If I never lived, I would not have to know the name Joe West. He is practically the only umpire whose name causes me to flinch. He has made a career of destroying the Yankees. He should be called "the Yankee Killer." Last night, he missed a critical strike out call - it was laughable, especially because the inning before, the umps called one against Grandyman. (Of course, as soon as the call went against us, everybody knew the next pitch would score the winning run.)
7. If I never lived, I would not have to think about Joba. Was Girardi serious about winning the game? When I saw Joba warming up, I grew physically ill. Did anybody - ANYBODY - think he would throw a scoreless inning? Have you looked at him lately? His eyes are pinched, like he's squinting - or crying. He doesn't even look the same. He looks terrified. I'm serious... bring in Dellin Betances! Why not? What's the point of bringing in pitchers that you know cannot do the job?
There are losses, and then there are losses. I died fifty times last night. My jaw hurts. I couldn't sleep. Mathematically, we can probably sustain six defeats the rest of the way, and still possibly take the Wild Card.
Well, I won't make it. Not if the losses are like last night. Why, God? Why? What did I do in the previous life?
Friday, September 6, 2013
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3 comments:
It's even worse than you describe. Fonzie was picked off first before he was picked off second. It's as if he were dead set determined to get picked off. I think I remember now why we traded him...
I'm still in shock. We had them. We had them dead to rights. And we blew it.
Mo's last year is turning out to be less than stellar.
Hey, Girardi could have always gone to Joba's blood brother in busts, Phil "Here, Have a Homer" Hughes, but we all know how that would've turned out.
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