Monday, September 30, 2013

Paul Harvey Reviews The 2013 Yankees Season

Posted by Stang at 12:09 PM

4 comments:

JM said...

I'm confused, I thought we WERE the devil. Oh, yeah, I guess it does work if that's the case, too.

If I personally were the devil, I'd put blowhard right-wingers on the air constantly--like Paul Harvey or Rush or Hannity--and tell people lies and distortions that played into their insecurities and fears, no matter how loathsome the roots of them.

On the other hand, I feel pretty good because I've followed all the devilish personal behavior Harvey mentioned except undressing someone in public. Not so keen on that...of course, it would depend on the person being undressed. Can't be Emperor Cashman because he has no clothes as it is. (A chilling image nonetheless.)

Wonder how far the pieces of Harvey's exploding head would've gone if he lived to see a Negro President? (Which, by the way, was a name attached to Thomas Jefferson by some of his rivals. Long story, there's a book by the same name if you're interested.) (And yes, I do know that Obama was elected in 2008 and Harvey was still 'alive,' in a Ronald Reagan kind of way, but I'm talking sentience here.)

One thing Harvey left out was addicting the kids to that satanic rock and roll music with its jungle beat, designed to drag the white youth of America down to the level of you-know-who. Pat Boone, save us. Even if your heavy metal shtick years later didn't really pan out.

But I digress. Cats and dogs, sleeping together...it's Armageddon in the Bronx. The devil has won. Pleased to me you, hope you guessed my name. But what's puzzling you is the nature of my game, or at least the crappy team I'm fielding to play it.

September 30, 2013 at 2:20 PM
el duque said...

The part where he talks about platooning Lyle Overbay with Travis Hafner makes no sense. Didn't he know that they are both left-handed? God would certainly know this.

Also, the section where he says Joba should start: That's a cheap shot against Yankee management. I thought Harvey was above that.

Wait a minute. Is he related to Matt Harvey?

September 30, 2013 at 8:29 PM
JM said...

I hadn't thought of that. Paul, Matt...both Harveys, and possibly tied to the incredibly lame Harvey comic books featuring Little Audrey, Casper the Friendly Ghost, Baby Huey, Richie Rich, Little Dot and Little Lotta. (Yes, I stole the list from Wikipedia, which was actually accurate on the topic.) (Sorry about the ac-ac there, don't want to disappoint the fans of our writerliness here in the comments.)

Richie Rich, of course, is the childhood story of the Steinbrenner boys, living a life of luxury with no real responsibilities or pressing concerns besides getting dressed in their Little Lord Fountleroy outfits every day and bagging some chicks with Dad's limo.

Baby Huey, naturally, is the fictionalized story of CC Sabathia as a flightless bird. No further explanation needed.

This Harvey connection merits further research...

October 1, 2013 at 10:02 AM
Stang said...

John M, your Harvey Comics analogy works.

Little Lotta is Joba.

Casper is one of the ghosts who haunted the old stadium. He's never been to the new one.

But who is Hot Stuff, the little devil?

October 1, 2013 at 10:57 AM

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