Friday, September 20, 2013

In the final, meaningless week, let John Sterling manage... and other ideas born from spite

First, let The Master manage a game. Suzyn can be bench coach. CJ Nitkowski can run the Hertz 24-7 booth. We'll play A.B.C. baseball... we'll move the runners... and I gotta believe that if John talks to them about the importance of hitting with men in scoring position, we'll come through.

Bring up Pat Venditte, humanity's only switch-pitcher. We never gave him a chance. We'll lose him this winter. Let him throw from the right and left side. Sell some tickets. And heck, we'll see what happens.

Start Joba Chamberlain! No more "Joba rules" about using him. It's obvious that his future is not as a reliever. Now is the time. Maybe he'll throw a no-hitter. Maybe this is what we should have done, all along. That would put some fannies in the molded plastic. Start him. See what happens.

In one game, play Vernon Wells one inning at every position. Bert Campaneris did it. This would enhance Vernon's resume for the Hall of Fame. He played infield for us early in the season. If he can just catch an inning and then pitch the ninth, he'll not only go down in history, but solidify his 2014 role as the perfect utility man. We have him next year, you know. Free. So he's ours.

Let Ichiro try player-managing a game. This could be a prelude to 2014, if Joe runs to Chicago. Ichiro would make a great player-manager. Plus, if he play-manages, we get good value for the money. 

Play A-Rod at SS. We never tried him there. Jeter was in the way. He's not in the way now.

Change the name of River Avenue. Yes, the honor is long overdue: Preston Claiborne Lane!

And Hudson Bay can become Lyleover Bay. While we're on the subject, let Lyle bat leadoff. He's just six HRs away from the magical 20. Come on, folks, let's have fun!


SanJoseKid said...

An idea whose time has come. Could be Cano's last weeks with the team. Let him pitch the ninth inning. Joba Chamberlain behind the plate. Chris Stewart ought to be exhausted. Let Joba relieve him! How about Mark Reynolds doing nine different positions in nine innings? Every inning, move him to another position. The Steinbrenners are strapped for cash? Here's a way to put meat in the seats. Oh ye of little faith, harken to El Duque's clarion call.

SanJoseKid said...

Wow, the more I ponder the suggestions in Duque's post, the more impressive it seems! There's nothing immoral about this, right? Torre used to let a player manage the last game, right? However, I still think Reynolds, not Wells, ought to have a shot at the "9 for 9" scheme, though Vernon this year showed great promise as a rookie infielder.

YankeesHub said...

Let Mo play the outfield, CC DH, and more from this Aug. 8 post --

SanJoseKid said...

Superb suggestions. If Mo loves to shag flies, let him spend his last home game runnin' 'em down like Mantle. And CC can do his best Pinella impersonation, shaking the bat in the on-deck circle. Hell, CC ought to charge the mound. Great ideas, gang! How about A-Rod? New team physician?