FIFTY THOUSAND MOONS
Friday, September 20, 2013
Posted by el duque at 10:11 AM
Bring up Pat Venditte, humanity's only switch-pitcher. We never gave him a chance. We'll lose him this winter. Let him throw from the right and left side. Sell some tickets. And heck, we'll see what happens.
Start Joba Chamberlain! No more "Joba rules" about using him. It's obvious that his future is not as a reliever. Now is the time. Maybe he'll throw a no-hitter. Maybe this is what we should have done, all along. That would put some fannies in the molded plastic. Start him. See what happens.
In one game, play Vernon Wells one inning at every position. Bert Campaneris did it. This would enhance Vernon's resume for the Hall of Fame. He played infield for us early in the season. If he can just catch an inning and then pitch the ninth, he'll not only go down in history, but solidify his 2014 role as the perfect utility man. We have him next year, you know. Free. So he's ours.
Let Ichiro try player-managing a game. This could be a prelude to 2014, if Joe runs to Chicago. Ichiro would make a great player-manager. Plus, if he play-manages, we get good value for the money.
Play A-Rod at SS. We never tried him there. Jeter was in the way. He's not in the way now.
Change the name of River Avenue. Yes, the honor is long overdue: Preston Claiborne Lane!
And Hudson Bay can become Lyleover Bay. While we're on the subject, let Lyle bat leadoff. He's just six HRs away from the magical 20. Come on, folks, let's have fun!