Saturday, September 21, 2013
Once we're out of it, A-Rod should start serving his suspension... and more ideas of how to enjoy the last meaningless week
Posted by el duque at 8:34 AM
1. Let A-Rod start serving his prison time. He could knock eight games off a 50-game suspension - that's 16 percent! It works for Judge Kenesaw Mountain Selig's team in Milwaukee. It works for Francisco Cervelli. It works for any player on a team playing meaningless games. Why not A-Rod? He can keep his appeal, but agree to start serving - as an act of good faith. Man, would that piss off Selig, or what?
2. Billy Crystal. Bring back the greatest-ever Yankee spring training breath of spring. He has a memoir out. It's got laughs on every page (so read it with a whisk broom.) He needs ink. Let him DH for a game. Good grief, with A-Rod gone, let him play 3B. We're not losing much.
3. Dellin Betances. Has anyone seen him? Should we file with the missing persons bureau? Last I knew, the Yankees brought him up from Scranton, and he pitched an inning. Then, poof, he seemed to vanish into a time and space continuum, while Joe salted the Yankee hopes by giving the ball repeatedly to the Foghorns and the Jobas - and we sure know how that turned out. Mount a campaign: If someone can find Dellin Betances, they will receive a toaster oven or something.
4. John Sterling must manage. We've covered this before. It needs to be repeated.
5. Finally, 1989 Day at Yankee Stadium. All fans wearing 1989 clothes admitted free. (This includes most of the homeless population of NYC!) We'll hold Rain Man impersonation contests. Maybe George H.W. Bush can skydive onto the field. Can Bernie Williams play a tribute to Madonna? The Yankees are going back to 1989. Just five quick years, and we'll be a contender again!