GOD ON TWITTER? We are tied for 15th and soon to get less coverage than the guy who called Jesus the "world's first tweeter."

With Baltimore's victory last night, the Yankees pulled into a tie with the Orioles for the 15th best record in the majors - a solid, middling crotch of mediocrity, which - of course - is officially described as nobody's fault:

We simply suffered unfortunate injuries.

But here's the news: A Vatican Cardinal - attempting to be oh-so-hip - is calling Jesus the "world's first tweeter."

You could not make this up. The world's first tweeter? That's crazy. The first tweeter had to be God. Think about it. Here are some of His greatest tweets.

Hey, folks: LET THERE BE LIGHT! Oops, nobody here ‘till Thursday, LOL!

Daniel in lion den, 2,500 years before Gaga invents meat bikini. Wow!

Yo Moses, wanna a shortcut? Head for Red Sea and prepare for ultimate WTF!

Check out my boy Jeez walking on water. Wine, anyone?

Pilate making huuuuge mistake. Eternal loser. Not cool. Still love him anyway.

Guess what supreme deity got just gave Attila the shingles?

Shhh. But the pope’s a lady. (Didn’t hear it from Me.)

Woo-woo. Alexander the Great has conquered world. (Wait’ll his balls drop.)

Columbus finally discovering America. Hello? Like it wasn’t here?

Hey, who the hell just touched my Higgs boson?