Sunday, August 17, 2014

Speaking on behalf of depressed people (aka Yankee fans), I'd like to ask Gene Simmons to kill himself

Dear "Demon,"

I am depressed. (You would be, too, if your $20 million outfielder, whom you have for two more years, is hitting .235.) But I'm not killing myself. Nope. Not gonna happen. Not with three years left on A-Rod's contract.

Instead, I have a suggestion.

You... Go kill yourself.

Go, go, go! Shoe! Be gone! Out, damned spot! I don't care how you do it! Adios, Gene!

And if ever again I yearn to hear your music played live? Well, that's why we have tribute bands. Go!

4 comments:

Pete Criss said...

That guy has been dead for years.

John M said...

Truly a schmuck. And although many have disagreed, the band was crap from the moment they showed up.

el duque said...

I'm thinking of compiling a list of people who I should call upon to kill themselves, sort of like the ice bucket challenge.

We'd call it the Kick Bucket Challenge.

KD said...

anyone remember that Gene Simmons sex tape from a few years back? Man, that was rich.

I never understood the music either, John M. Give me Neil Young any day.