Kevin Baker's book is here!

Kevin Baker's book is here!
"... an exemplary sports book..." Kirkus Reviews

Sunday, August 17, 2014

Speaking on behalf of depressed people (aka Yankee fans), I'd like to ask Gene Simmons to kill himself

Dear "Demon,"

I am depressed. (You would be, too, if your $20 million outfielder, whom you have for two more years, is hitting .235.) But I'm not killing myself. Nope. Not gonna happen. Not with three years left on A-Rod's contract.

Instead, I have a suggestion.

You... Go kill yourself.

Go, go, go! Shoe! Be gone! Out, damned spot! I don't care how you do it! Adios, Gene!

And if ever again I yearn to hear your music played live? Well, that's why we have tribute bands. Go!

4 comments:

Pete Criss said...

That guy has been dead for years.

JM said...

Truly a schmuck. And although many have disagreed, the band was crap from the moment they showed up.

el duque said...

I'm thinking of compiling a list of people who I should call upon to kill themselves, sort of like the ice bucket challenge.

We'd call it the Kick Bucket Challenge.

KD said...

anyone remember that Gene Simmons sex tape from a few years back? Man, that was rich.

I never understood the music either, John M. Give me Neil Young any day.