I say this...
GET OFF MY LAWN!
How quickly you seem to have forgotten the great Yankee comeback of 1978! Because we sure looked dead then - out by 14 games in July - and you know what happened? Ol' Bucky Dent homered, and we won the One Game, Visiting Team Wild Card playoff. Look at this Yankee club, and it's hard not to feel the magic bubbling up from the dugout. Hey, is Jimmy Carter the President, 'cause I'm plugging in the WalkMan and listening to some Van Halen!
Tonight, we'll lick our wounds, and tomorrow, we'll lick our chops: It's the Tampa Bay Devil Rays, who technically don't even exist in 1978! Plus, we've got our Yankee Big Three starters: McCarthy, Greene and Kuroda - alias "McGreekur." All we need is to win - say - 12 out of 13, and - BANG - as fast as you can say "Reggie-Reggie-Reggie," we'll be right back in the AL, away-field-advantage, one game Wild Card pennant race.
And Saturday, Thurman McCann comes off the DL!
You can feel Martin Prado starting to heat up, like a supervolcano in Yellowstone, ready to spew white hot emissions all over the North American continent. Boy, do those Arizona Diamondbacks look dumb - wait a minute: they don't exist either! Those desert morons traded Prado for some young guy that nobody's ever heard of. The YES announcers have already declared the deal a big win for the Yankees and their master jewel thief, Brian Cashman. Frankly, it doesn't matter what happens: We won the trade. We got Prado free, for nothing. And for two more seasons! Our second base, third base and right field problems are solved. Plus, we have Reggie Beltran!
One huge benefit from last night: We didn't need to use Goose Robertson! In Tampa, ol' Houdini should be fresh as a can of tuna - that is, unless Catfish McCarthy hurls a two-hit gem.
Ichiro is swinging the bat well lately. And great to see Michael Pineda back! Someday, he's gonna be real good. And word is that Tanaka is now throwing regulation nerf balls off a flat surface. He could be back for the stretch run, that big final series in Boston!
I'm telling you, we're getting ready to make our move. Too bad the casinos in Atlantic City have closed, because a couple more losses, and they'd be ripe for the plucking. I'd say more, but mum's the word: I've got to wait for Vegas odds-makers to go a little higher before betting the house on Bucky and the boys. Can't write any more. Foreigner just came on the mix tape! Those guys are smokin'!