Monday, August 11, 2014
Posted by el duque at 7:42 AM
Dash naked through the streets, drunk-dial ex-lovers, rent sound trucks, send emails, tack these words to utility poles, make the world know:
TONIGHT, THE YANKIVERSE SHALL FOCUS ITS COLLECTIVE JUJU POWERS INTO THE GAME OF BASEBALL AND BEGIN RESTORING THE YANKEES TO THEIR RIGHTFUL PERCH ATOP THE AMERICAN LEAGUE EAST.
We've waited almost the entire season, marshaled our emissions, built up vast reservoirs of game juju until - OMG, it felt like we were hauling two 50-pound water balloons between our legs - but tonight, gyaddammit tonight, we're gonna bring bloody Juju Hell unto the pork-faced pygmy, Buck Showalter, and his pussyfooted band of pussyfoots, the Voldemort Orioles. Tonight, dammit, tonight!
At 7:21 p.m. - (the "21" will honor the great Paul O'Neill) - each of us - I'M TALKING TO YOU, PARDNER - must confront our television, radio, computer, laptop, iPad, phone, electronic devise or the nearest horizon - however you do it, that's your business, and I don't need to know - and project all your strength, energy, knowledge, spirit, soul, vigor, psyche, vim, vitality, emotion and fricking life force - alias, your juju - into the New York Yankees. This may temporarily leave you as an incoherent, stupefied shell, so it's wise to have a spotter. Or line the floor with mattresses. We don't want any Hilary Clintons hitting the marble table.
But we will not go down without a fight.
Keep in mind that:
Friends, let's not sugarcoat the reality here...
It's been a tough year, a hell year. There were times when the writings on this blog have not been kind - not to the Yankees, not to God, and worst of all, not to each other. We have bickered, we have fought, we have doubted ourselves. That's because we care - more than anybody else in the Yankiverse. That's right. It was never talent or brains or nothing... just that we care.
We don't care how stupid we look, how ridiculous we act, how absurd our plans appear to all those who consider themselves rational and reasonable.
Rational and reasonable get you third place.
Tonight, we will do what no other blog, church, corporation, private club, government agency or institution on this gassy, watery and rocky sinkhole of a planet can do...
TONIGHT WE WILL SAVE THE YANKEE SEASON.