Monday, August 24, 2015

Dear Mr. Sabathia, If you return this year, it must be as a power lefty out of the bullpen

Dear Madam or Sir,

Last night, I had this bizarre dream...

It's early October, the Bud Selig Memorial One Game Maximization of Profits Wild Card... and the Yankees are playing the Angels - in California, of course. It's the bottom of the seventh. We lead by one, but the Winged Wonders have loaded the bases for Trout and Pujols. Across the Yankiverse, hope has turned to liberal dosages of black strap rum. Girardi makes the call to the bullpen - brought to us by AAMCO Car Care. But instead of Warren or Wilson or Shreve or even a barking shouldered Betances - instead of the lugnuts who have been breaking down with regularity from the lack of quality AAMCO car care... marching in from the bullpen is a hulking, relatively fresh-armed future Hall of Famer... yes, the great C.C. Sabathia - entering the national spotlight for his last great run at a World Series.  

Sir... permission requested to speak freely? Thank you.

Umm... welll... how do I put this?

Sir, THE SHIP HAS SAILED. This year, as a starter, you sucked. You pitched more like the other CC - Chris Capuano - than your self. For all your dugout leadership, the Yankees are dead on the days you pitch, and if you think a few weeks of rest will change that... well... THE SHIP HAS SAILED.

Today, some are saying you'll never throw another MLB pitch. We hope that's not true. But Fate can be a tricky mufo. You can still help the Yankees - just not as a starter, where the knee simply cannot hold up for 100 pitches. If you pitch out of the bullpen, you could be the difference in the final three innings, where Betances and Miller are barely holding it together.

I don't know the psychological and physiological changes required for a veteran starter to become a reliever. Clearly, some pitchers cannot do it. I believe you can.

Last night, you struck out Trout and got Pujols on a pop-up. Make my dreams come true. Because this team is fading fast. We're fighting for the one-game Wild Card, and we're going to need CC Sabathia to win it. But not as the starter.


John M said...


Ken of Brooklyn said...

I second that emoticon!

Mustang said...

I third it!

ceeja said...

Some doctor will convince him he can come back, so he will, and he will quickly break down again. He should just retire. I hope it costs the Steinbrenners lots of money and that they don't have any insurance for it.

Earth to Steinbrenners: when an overpaid athlete opts out of his contract and holds you for ransom like A Rod and Sabbathia did, just say no. Let him walk. Better yet, don't agree to those opt out clauses to begin with. They are a no-win proposition. If the star does lousy, he does not opt out and rakes in the cash. If he does well, he opts out and rakes in more cash than he is worth.

Who are these clowns? Do they really expect us to believe they are competent businesspeople?

jdrny said...

I forth it.
But remember, he makes more than A-Rod per year. $$$