Strange things happened yesterday. Unworldly things. Scary things.
Of course, you all know by now that Bryan Mitchell has a liner shiner and a lifetime membership on the MLB Cringe Injury highlight reel. Not only that, but one of Mark Teixeira's dogs is barking, after The Indispensible One fouled off a pitch. There was the viral video of CC the other night wanting to fight a Toronto intellectual. And John Sterling couldn't figure out Justin Wilson's name. He called him "Josh." Unworldly things. Scary things.
Listen: It's great that the Yankees set aside a week of the regular season to aid worthy causes. There is always good to be done by a $4 billion entity. But their hearts had better be in the right place. If this is a public relations ploy to strengthen someone's hand in soccer stadium negotiations, or a new access ramp, or a get-out-of-jail-free card from a DWI, they better watch out. The juju gods don't go for that crap. You're either all in, or something out there with a sense of justice - maybe your own guilty conscience - is always going to bite you. You can fake out the YES cameras and the YES men, and the courtiers who say yes-yes-YES! - but you can't fool the juju gods. They read email. They dive in dumpsters. They know.
Nevertheless, today, there is hope.
Why? We won last night. Imagine how ugly we would feel today if, after all the pain and suffering from last night, we had lost. To the Twins. We didn't.
Mitchell sustained a "small nasal fracture," which is what your grandfather called a "broken nose." Hurts like hell. Bleeds like a stuck pig. Wrecks your modeling career. Cured by aspirin and a week of watching daytime TV.
Tex's injury no longer means we must Garrett Jones, who manned first base like Hillary Clinton. We now have Greg Bird, for whom the YES men have already invoked the M-word - Mattingly. Bird triggered last night's win with a double. Want to really cringe? Imagine that two weeks ago, we traded him for a rusty gas tank. Wither goest Dustin Ackley?
CC should get over the TMZ video. In fact, maybe it'll piss him off.
As for The Master... if he calls you "Josh," dammit, your name is Josh.
Hope Week: One day in the books. Stay strapped in.