TONIGHT'S THE NIGHT

TONIGHT'S THE NIGHT
Tonight's moon phase: WANING CRESCENT

FIFTY THOUSAND MOONS

Sunday, August 23, 2015

Toronto will never lose again, ever, and be hailed as the greatest team that ever was, ever.

Toronto crushed the Angels yesterday. If not for the two games we took from them last weekend, they would be 15-1 in August, and be running away with the AL East.

We should not have won those games. We angered them. They are too good. Wait, did I said "good?" They are too great. That's what they are. They are the greatest team in the greatest city in the greatest country on the greatest planet, give or take.

Some of you may be thinking Toronto cannot continue at this incredible pace. You people are fools. You might have thought something would give during Toronto's West Coast swing. Not a chance. In their two games in Anaheim, they've scored 24 runs, given up five. They are Shula's Miami Dolphins. They are the Harlem Globetrotters, and everybody else is the Washington Generals. Give up. Surrender, Dorothy. Hope Week is over. There is no hope.

That incredible lineup of future Hall of Famers - Jose Batista (900 career homers, HOF 2025), Edwin Encarnacion (790 career homers, HOF 2030) and Justin Smoak (10,000 runs, HOF 2039) - will forever be remembered as the feared "Canadian Bakin'!" The Crash Test Dummies will write a song about them. Jim Carrey and Ellen Page will star in a Canadian remake of "Fever Pitch."

It's over. We should just quit. In fact, I should just qu-

3 comments:

John M said...

I still believe Toronto is not this good. They weren't before they got LaTroy Hawkins and that other pitcher and the shortstop who can't seem to find his stroke. But they are psychologically on a tear, and that is dangerous. They believe in themselves, and even more than the Yankees earlier this year when they went on a tear and played over their heads.

I haven't looked it up yet, but who are the teams that they've played in August? Obviously they've gone 4-2 against the Yanks, but have they played other teams who actually have something to play for at this point in the season? The Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim on That Block That Isn't Too Far From Disneyland in Water District 9332-0W realistically don't. This bears checking....because when a team is on a high like the Jays, a bunch of guys who are just playing out the season isn't going to stop them.

Ken of Brooklyn said...

They had a chance to take the lead and choked big time the last time they played us, I doubt think that will happen again,,,, GROAN!

Rufus T. Firefly said...

"The Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim on That Block That Isn't Too Far From Disneyland in Water District 9332-0W"

John M., you are a wordsmith. I applaud you sir.