Saturday, October 13, 2018

Cooperstown Cashman on 2018: "Mission accomplished."

He actually said those words. Mission accomplished. Can you believe it? Mission accomplished... 

And he's right, folks. Brian Cashman nailed it. Because this is the Middle East, and the Yankees could be stuck in the sand dunes of wild-card races for a long, long time. Miss. Shun. Ack. Com. Plished. 

Welcome to mid-October. The Redsocks are still playing, we're catching up on Better Call Saul, the heart and soul of the Yankees is out for much of 2019, our future just self-destructed like that Banksy painting, and here we go: Brian Cashman - the NYC courtier press' unquestioned Queen Cheese Tit for the Hall of Fame - says, "Mission accomplished."

Of course, he's right. The Yankees accomplished their Prime Directive for 2018: They slashed payroll to levels below the salary cap, which was supposed to disappear under the last labor agreement, but which was baked into the deal in paragraphs the lunk-head union reps - hey, Tony Clark, do you see the shiny objects? - apparently couldn't understand. 

So here we are, with pumpkins starting to rot in the fields and players heading into surgery. And here are the latest crusher news bits to digest.

Didi Gregorius will undergo Tommy John surgery, and the Yankees' claim that he'll be back "sometime in 2019" is entirely dubious. Since when do we believe anything the front office tells us about injury recovery times? Have we already forgotten the "three weeks" that Aaron Judge was going to miss? If Gregorius returns at all in 2019, it might be as a September roster move. But the Yankees need to stick with him. We can't have another Nathan Eovaldi.

Supposedly, the Yankees will now be all-in on Manny Machado, but that leaves several rather bothersome questions: 1) Considering the poor fielding of 2018, do we really want a third baseman playing SS? 2) Wouldn't such a signing put us way too  top-heavy with RH bats? 3) Do we want a long-term deal, our own version of the future Robbie Cano team-killer contract, which with Giancarlo's deal would  become the Twin Towers of Mismanagement by 2024. Or don't we care anymore? 

The Yankees look to be on the verge of a winter tear-down, with several players traded and a wave of free agent turnover. Sonny Gray is surely gone. So could be Gardy. It's not incomprehensible to think of Miguel Andujar or Aaron Hicks being traded for pitching, Gary Sanchez being shot to the moon, or that we might wake up on April 1 to see Greg Bird getting yet another chance at first base. Last week, the Yankees were undressed on national TV, and now they've lost the heart and soul of their infield, and word from the top says the war is over, and the troops will be home any day now. Mission accomplished. Wow.  

12 comments:

Anonymous said...

A very well deserved konk on the head of the union. They really hosed themselves on the last two contracts.

Sadly, I know too many morons like him in the labor movement. Soft heads, entitled life. In negotiations, they act like they just want to be accepted by the boys across the table or the boys in the labor leadership. (gender intended)

Between them and the crooks, its no wonder the labor movement is in trouble.

13bit said...

You really want a GM who says "We’re too early in the process to have any of the strategies mapped up.”

Shouldn't he - at some level - be like a permanent Pentagon scenario planner? Shouldn't he have multiple possible strategies mapped out that he could follow or abandon, depending on how things suss out?

Or is this just so much blather for the Yankee Pravda news networks? It's so tiresome having to actually answer questions for the press, but it's part of the game. Just play along.

And Hal, with his bureaucratese bullshit marble-mouthed bullshit non-statements. Fuck you all.

Can't you be direct? Just say "we want to win and we'll do whatever it takes."

You fucking golden baby-spooned moron who never had to work a day in your life to do anything. You'll "cross that bridge?" Fuck you. You're not a fan. You don't care. I understand wanting to make your money, but can't you at least pretend to give a shit? To have some fire? To not be a cardboard moron? I know the answers to those questions. already.

So, you leave Crackhead Cash - a man in need of a 12 Step program for bad acquisitions - in charge of the "rebuilding" and you probably go home and toss darts at the photo of your father in your 8 car garage.

Fuck you. Eat shit and die.

Yes, I'm ready for the Hot Stove League.

Anonymous said...

LOUISE MEANWELL.

(I'M SO MAD AT COOP... THAT MIGHT BE THE ONLY 2 WORDS THAT WILL PISS HIM OFF).

Anonymous said...

Prediction Number One (You heard it here first!)

Next year's Neil Walker will be... Brian Dozier 2b.

Write it down.

Doug K.

Alphonso said...

I think the Yankees might as well go " all in."

My idea is for Cashman to pursue a 25 man roster, each with a Stanton-like contract.

That is; in the neighborhood of $300 million per player, through 2028.

We could then have several billion dollars worth of guys, still paid to play baseball ( a la Jacoby Ellsbury ), having morning TV conversations with Baby Wayne or Kanye West. They could discuss the art of " disappearing " critical journalists, as per our greatest ally, Saudia Arabia.

But they would be on the DL. Soon to be " soft tossing" and hitting a beach ball off of a tee.

The players on the field would largely be from Scranton, Trenton and Charleston. Mostly in their early 30's and related to Neal Walker.

What I am saying is; I think I am drifting into the " I don't give a shit" category. Get Manny, get Harper, get Verlander, get Kershaw....get them all. And I promise; we still won't win a thing. The only goal will be to break our own stupid HR record.

A record that now stands in parallel with, " how many people perished in the bubonic plague?"

Nothing Cashman does is smart. We have a toadie as a manager. And the few players we do enjoy watching, are always getting injured. And then we abandon them...only to see them re-emerge, and star for our enemies.

Seriously, do you really think young guy, with $250,000,000 guaranteed.....play/don't play; produce/don't produce; dog it/hustle..........is going to bust his behind every moment? Doesn't his thought pattern drift from the likely curve-ball to the likely model waiting in the Yankee lounge?

How difficult did it look for Stanton to walk to the plate and hack at the first three pitches.....wherever they were....and take a seat? The big act is to develop that "look of concern, " which is designed to make everyone think he cares, as he walks back to the dugout.

I would rather we not have a single superstar.

Just a bunch of baseball-hungry guys who get paid the MLB minimum.

They would do just as well.

And might actually play the game.

Good thing this thing is over.

For a while.

Anonymous said...

He really does have that look of concern down.

Doug K.

Joe of AZ said...

The purge I tell you

And Golden spooned Hal's "no stone unturned" comment BETTER include Boone,Rothschild being shown the fucken door.


TheWinWarblist said...

I've always hated Jack Clark. Such the colossal dick.

Local Bargain Jerk said...


Kudos to the new IIH banner headline. I'm happy if that stays there for a while.

Local Bargain Jerk said...


TWW: Agree about Jack Clark 100%. He was a clubhouse cancer. He didn't perform, he got others to believe in him -- for whatever jock reasons cause that to happen, and I've been on enough teams to see it happen and could never figure out why -- and he brought the whole team down.

I don't know why you brought him up -- Tony Clark was referenced in Duque's post -- but if you've read somewhere that he's in the running for hitting coach, or some such, I'll just kiss off this team now.

TheWinWarblist said...

Just reading the name Clark brought the anger bubbling up. It happens. Who else am I going to share that with? The humanist blog on which I comment?

Cisco kid said...

Well said