Of course, it's okay when you're God's chosen people, fighting for the common man. Nobody begrudges a Boston fan for punching Gary Sheffield while he's catching a foul ball, or terrorizing Roger Clemens' family to the point of tears, or chanting "Yankees suck" in games against another team - it's just good clean fun, light-hearted tomfoolery, a refreshing sign of impetuousness, an outlet for their enlightened creativity. Oh, those crazy cads! What are they up to now? Singing "New York, New York" in the clubhouse? Bravo!
Can you imagine the Gammonitic outrage today if the Yankees did such a thing?
You know, a few years ago, when Derek Jeter played his final game in Boston, and the Redsocks stopped everything to have Bernie Williams play "Take Me Out to the Ballgame" on his guitar, I almost began to appreciate the franchise in a "beloved traditional rivalry" way. But this last month has ginned up several "Lock Her Up" moments of cheap-shot hatred... a reminder of why we fight.
Well, today, they own us.
Let's give credit. Nothing more to be said. I doff my cap. Boston has the 2018 Redsock Hall of Fame Superteam of Destiny (TM)... champions of the world... and we remain winners of the 2009 World Series. Meanwhile the Gammonites - (remember: The Redsocks literally own the Boston Globe) - assure us that our front office is worthy of Cooperstown! (That's sorta like being told it's okay to return home by Mister Bone Saw.)
Next year will mark a full decade without the Yankees even playing in a World Series. That has never happened before in Yankee history.
Since 2009, they will have...
Missed the post-season three times.
Lost the Wild Card game once.
Lost the Division Series twice.
Lost the League Championship series three times.
Listen...
WE WILL NOT TAKE THIS LYING DOWN. STAY TUNED. WE WILL NOT ACCEPT THIS MEDIOCRITY BY YANKEE OWNERSHIP. THIS DEMANDS A BILLBOARD. THIS DEMANDS A FLYOVER. THIS DEMANDS SOMETHING.
Local Bargain Jerk - the man behind the MOON BIG PAPI campaign - is on the prowl.
Stay tuned.
Posts
34 comments:
There are gonna be several "tells" on whether 2019 will begin to mark a difference from the mediocrity detailed so well in this post.
Here are mine. Yours may differ. Collectively, we might end up with 200,000.
#0 -- already settled, I think. Do ABoone and coaches return? I've read it's a done deal.
So.......to look to the future --
#1 -- does Walker return?
#2 -- do they re-sign CC Sabathia?
#3 -- do they retain Gardy for some reason?
#4 -- is Adeiny H considered the bridge to Didi's return?
#5 -- is Lance still on the roster on Opening Day 2019?
These are not "musts" -- but still, if some of #1-2-3-4-5 (or ALL) are answered Yes, we will have some clear indications that 2019 won't be any different.
My bet? All true. For the foreseeable future, whenever we look up, there will be Boston. The only question will be, if we are competitive, at what point in the season does Boston bury us? Success will be judged by how late in the season this occurs.
After watching Manny strike out for the last out of the WS, I am back on the Anti-Manny bandwagon. we could see it coming. As if he were an actor in a Play. As if he were Giancarlo Stanton. Or ICS. take your pick.
Few postseasons--ok, second halves and postseasons--have disappointed me as badly as this.
I now know that my gravestone will read, "He said the Dodgers would win."
I know that Cashman will do so many stupid things this winter, our heads will explode.
I know that whoever we sign, they'll just be another millstone around our collective neck.
I know that we may never win a World Series in the remainder of my life, which I optimistically peg at 20 years or so. Certainly, my mother--turning 95 in February--will go to her grave never again feeling exultant over a new championship flag. It's sad, but when my father passed away in late 1999, the handwriting was all over the wall. We had another couple of years, only one more championship until 2009 (wow, that makes two), and the Red Sox can do little wrong.
I know that the ownership, management, field management, coaching staff, minor league staff, and scouting staff have to be among the worst in baseball. If we didn't have what money Hal allows to be spent, we'd be Kansas City. Maybe not even that good.
I know that this franchise will, at some point, right itself, but it's years away now, and I won't be there to see it.
The arc of my life is to start following the Yankees right after their collapse in the mid-60s, enjoy some success in the following decade-plus, sink to mediocrity, and flower in the prime of my life, only to wither and sink as my hair started to thin and that extra 25 pounds became impossible to shed.
At least my dad went out in glory. Sad.
I've been waiting for LBJ's encore. My fantasy is hiring one of those planes that fly back and forth at the Jersey Shore advertising Geico Insurance. we make a series of insulting Hal banners and have him fly them around during the Winter Meetings. Put him down in front of his peers. Hal would be so offended. even if he's not there, he'd hear about it.
Or... did you see that Trump Baby Doll balloon they flew in London during Trump's visit? We need an artist.. Ken of Brooklyn, you reading this?
John M, my rooting life has followed a similar trajectory, and while I wish I had seen some of the great old teams, I can only say I'm grateful. Grateful that I saw some tremendous Yankees baseball—the 1977-78 teams, the GREATEST TEAM WHAT EVER WAS in 1998, etc.
Those fans who have come up since 2009 could easily go their whole rooting lives without seeing a Yankees championship.
Even worse: they may well go their entire rooting lives paying ungodly amounts of money to see this increasingly odious, boring, simple-minded version of the game we all love. Endless strikeouts rung up by an endless array of 2-3-inning pitchers, compiled against batters who shrug and walk back to the dugout, or give it a half-hearted trot toward first whenever they do make contact.
It's a bleak, bleak era that's upon us, and not just because of what our favorite team has been reduced to.
Oh, and of course, Duque, the Yanks did not play in a World Series for the first 17 years of their existence. But then, for the first 12 years of that time, they were owned by a claque of Tammany thieves only marginally interested in seeing them win. In fact, they were known as a snake-bitten, cursed team.
Oh, that we should have lived to see such times return!
But I would forget about the protests and banners. Most fans will think we're nuts, repeating the Gammonite mantra: "Hey, they won a hundred games Hey they won a hundred games Hey they won a hundred games..."
Joe F:
1-Yes
2-No
3-No
4-Unfortunately
5-No
100 years from now, future Yankees fans will be taunting redsock players by chanting the year they last won a WS ring:
"TWEN-TY-EIGH-TEEN! TWEN-TY-EIGH-TEEN!"
LESSON LEARNED.[WE HOPE].
DON'T POKE OR PROD THE GORILLA.
GARY SHEFFIELD IN 2004.
AARON JUDGE IN 2018.
STOP WITH THE QUOTES AND OR THE USELESS SUBLIMINAL MUSIC PLAYING.
IT CAN ONLY HURT US.
OK, Boone is an undeserving shallow whit prepster. And Sanchez is showing signs of early onset Manny Ramirez syndrome. Other than that, this is a very likeable team with a lot of talent.
No need to slit the veins or to renounce the pinstripes.
Steinbrenner is going to have to compete by spending some of his tax free billions to restore the Yankees place atop the payroll rankings.
Spend on Machado but not Harper.
Get a good veteran catcher who can school Sanchez. I think Sanchez splits time as catcher and DH.
There are no reasonable prices for starters. Blow the budget on the bullpen.
Incredible that a team that could hit with men on base and didn't strike out a million times because they weren't obsessed with swinging for the fences every pitch won the World Series.
The Yanks will be second fiddle for a long time unless they cut the shit with the launch angle obsession.
Joe FoB,
No Walker, Gardy, or Lynn. I’m almost positive. The front office may be stupid but they’re not stupid. The only “loyalty” issue is Gardy and I suspect that like Eli over in that other hot stinking mess, the powers that be were just waiting it out not wanting to get rid of a player who is beloved but essentially done. His contract is up and so is his time.
CC will come back. We will be glad. Then we won’t.
Adeiny H – Not as bridge. Possibly as a better Torreyes. I think we get Machado at the Bargain Price of 7/250. Oh, and don’t hold his bad World Series against him. Betts stunk it up too for the most part. It’s too short a sample. Hold the fact that he’s a shithead against him though. There’s more data.
John M,
Pick a better epitaph. 😊 I wanted mine to be “Ate a bad falafel.” But I’m still working on it.
My father passed away this year during spring training, so he didn’t get to see this year. I would rather he had so I could talk to him about it.
Oh, if you want to drop the 25-try going gluten free. The pounds will fly off. Just one caveat. Don’t start eating the Gluten Free substitutes. A gluten free pie is still a pie! But seriously, try for a couple of weeks. It’s pretty profound. As an added benefit, I used to have really bad heartburn in the middle of the night since I was 12. I haven’t had it in years. Can’t do anything about the hair though. I hear there is a club for men.
Doug K.
Let’s talk Hanukah. Why, you say? What, others of you say? When, those of us who are Jews say? (We never know. It moves around like a crap game.) Trust me I have a point.
In a nut shell - The story has to do with a period when the Greek/Assyrians ran rough shod over the Jews. Eventually they were defeated and when the holy temple was recaptured and cleaned out they found a hidden cache of the oil used to light the temple’s Menorah. There was only enough oil for one day, but it lasted eight. It was a miracle! Most of us know the story.
There’s another interpretation. The real miracle was that somebody hid the oil to begin with. Someone had the foresight and wisdom to recognize that despite how bad things were, to take a little oil and hide it for a time when it could again be used. So, and with apologies to my people and my G-d I offer this…
Take a little oil and stash it somewhere. It looks bad, particularly for those of us in the later innings but keep a little in reserve. Ceeja is right. They are a likeable team with a lot of talent.
Doug K.
I believe that would have be "Doctor Bone Saw."
I'm worried that after 80 yrs of being the dominant team, that the opposite will be true for a long time. Ugh, some one convince me otherwise while I watch Sabrina on Netflix (it seems much brighter than the real world right now).
Wow, my grammar is messed up today, fuckit.
We will take this lying down. Hell and cASSman are into mediocrity.
Here's the bitter truth: the Red Sox are the new Yankees. It's a sea change, one not likely to be reversed in our lifetimes.
Anonymous Doug K – are you inspired by the Australian film “He Died with a Falafel in His Hand?” It stars the guy who plays Hitler (or “Hilter”) on “Preacher" and is worth a view.
https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0172543/?ref_=nv_sr_1
If you want, get an e-mail address to me through El Duque and I can send it to you as an .avi file through the free file-sharing program WeTransfer.
Duque – please give my e-mail address to (anonymous) Doug K if he asks.
John M – My lesson for the day is that a few years ago I looked at myself in a newly purchased full-length mirror and screamed: how did I ever get so… well, fat? With an OK from my doctor, I immediately went totally vegan, severely decreased my alcohol intake, and started doing about 90 minutes of cardio three times a week. Within six months I shed ONE QUARTER of my body weight. I went from 80kg to 60kg, which is ideal for someone my height and bone structure. And I’ve kept the weight off. I weigh myself every morning and was 60,1kg today. As for the hair: in 1996 my girlfriend demanded: “Stop playing with the eight strands of hair left on your head” and I began shaving it, Gardy-style. It turns out to be a good look for me.
Oh yeah – the Yankees: I can’t see any significant change until there is no more Cashman, and any of the current coaches. I see the current team as horribly disjointed – not a team but a bunch of confused, soulless, mostly talented guys with no focus and, even worse, no one to help them pull together. One need look no farther than Gardy, who was for a long time the heart and jester of the team, who is now starting to get that pained “I should be doing better” look on his face and body language. In my language, “Die Yankees sind kaput.”
I have cancelled the automatic renewal on my MLB.com account and will wait and see if I even want to bother with 2019.
BOSTON LUTSCHT!
BOSTON LUTSCHT!
In case anyone was having trouble guessing.
LEINSTERY HIT THE NAIL ON THE HEAD.
BOOOOM!
Now we're hearing the Yankees are "down" on both Machado and Harper. Jeeze. Hal just doesn't want to spend his hard earned money.
Unkown--baseball is now dominated by useful information of a kind that was not available before. It's more intelligently run. There's nothing more essentially "human" about ignorance and stupidity.
duque--you can't wait to saddle the Yankees with another Sabbathia/Texeira/Stanton resource-draining, long-term contract that will block your beloved young players and deaden the organization for years with guys well past their prime for megabucks? Seriously? Do you think that's how the Red Sox and Astros and Dodgers built their teams, chasing after every big name on the free agent market every year? You sound like George Redux. With this kind of thinking--that big spending necessarily equals winning--you have no right to chastise the Gammonites, who mostly parrot the same vacuities.
anon -
The Red Sox and the Yankees are fairly similarly constructed. They just got better value.
The Sox Payroll is the highest in baseball and includes Free agents
David Price 31M
JD Martinez 23.75M
They are also paying Pablo Sandoval 18M (He's their Jacoby 21M in dead money.)
Nunez and Moreland were free agents as well. Albeit lower priced ones.
Currently the Yankees only have two big name free agents on the roster.
Tanaka 22M
Chapman 17.2
That's it.
Rick Porcello was a trade 21M
Stanton was a trade 25M
The Astros are the least reliant on FA's.
The Yankees could handle two or three big contracts. Also they have the most money. We just want them to spend it.
Maybe instead of 10 year contracts do seven at more AAV. We have holes in LF, SS and SP.
RF Judge - home grown
CF Hicks - Trade
LF (open)We would have wanted Frazier but he is too iffy.
1B Voit or Bird - Trade or home grown
2b Gleybar Trade
SS open (was DD and was a trade)
3B AnDUjar - Home grown
C Sanchez - Home Grown
DH Stanton - Trade
So we have plenty of home grown and traded for guys who are not blocked. We've got holes and money. So yeah buy! It's the only advantage we have. Just buy smart.
Doug K.
Also "you can't wait to saddle the Yankees with another Sabbathia/Texeira/Stanton resource-draining, long-term contract that will block your beloved young players and deaden the organization for years with guys well past their prime for megabucks?"
CC didn't block anybody. Tex didn't block anybody. Stanton isn't currently blocking anybody either. And truth be told if Hal wasn't obsessed with the Luxury Tax none of this would matter. Hey you forgot A-Rod. He was a drain but only because of the Luxury Tax. Otherwise we would have blown right through it.
Doug K.
There is certainly nothing inherently human about incel StatBabies vacillating, in their mania between faux sober and flat-out, batshit nasty. Eat shit and die stat baby.
Doug K--Yes they did block lots of people--by draining resources that could have gone elsewhere in the organization--to player development and signing younger, less glamorous but equally or more effective players to shorter term deals that wouldn't have weighed down the organization for a decade or more at a time. The take up roster spots that could have gone to younger players because management feels obliged to play the guys with the big names and big contracts. You think those long-term signings--guaranteed obligations to pay out megabucks long after the player had receded into mediocrity--were smart and were not a millstone on this organization, did not represent an organizational tropism toward the quick fix rather than patient player development? Then you are out of touch with some grim realities about this team under the Steinbrenner-Levine-Cashman follies.
Doug K.--you miss the point with your irrelevant rosters. My point was about Duque's professed slavering after Harper and Machado--that's back to the dysfunctional Steinbrenner philosophy of the splashy megabuck long-term-contract free-agent fix, which has never worked and never will work as anything but a millstone. Plus acquiring the Big Bust Stanton effectively would have blocked Frazier if he hadn't scrambled his brains. And anyone happy about still paying out a small fortune to Jacoby Ellsbury every year for just one of those long-term disasters that duque is hungering for AGAIN, in the fashion of a learning-disabled masochist? Get a fucking clue already, ya' yutz. Yer a pencil-headed nerdball who misses the forest for the trees. You can't assemble a coherent thought.
Oh it's you. Nevermind.
Doug K.
Nevermind--perfect description of Doug K.
Great posts, Doug K.! But I have to go with Austria when it comes to this team. I thought it was essentially disinterested and soulless—hence, "the Golem Team." I didn't find it likable in the least; in fact I don't know that I have ever seen a Yankees team seemingly less interested in playing ball.
They're a big, dumb monster of a team with no spirit and no heart. And they are headed straight down.
Hoss,
Thanks. The thing that I think drives us all nuts is this team is both. They are a Golem Team. lifeless, LEADERLESS. They truly suck.
And, they also won 100 games. So they're good. They thumped Oakland when they needed to so they're good and then they sucked against Boston. Which is it?
It's both.
If you look at what Ceeja said,
"OK, Boone is an undeserving shallow whit prepster. And Sanchez is showing signs of early onset Manny Ramirez syndrome."
Who could argue with that? They are unlikable. Then he goes on...
"Other than that, this is a very likeable team with a lot of talent."
That's true too.
Do they have talent? They won 100 games.
They broke the MLB Home Run record. That's awesome! They can't get a guy in from third with no outs. That's despicable!
Are they likeable?
Judge, Didi, Gleybar, AnDUjar, Voit (Who didn't like Voit?) Gardner? He was done but ya gotta like em. Tanaka, Happ. Do you not like CC? He's a warrior. He took a $500,000 hit for standing up for a teammate. Ya gotta like that.
Mean Chad Green, Robertson, Even Johnny Lasagna. I like them. That's half the 25 man roster right there. I liked McCutchen. Torreyes, Adenoid Kvetcheveria or what ever his name is...
Also, every team except the Red Sox Super Team of Destiny has players that their fans could do without.
It's a conundrum. I like them. I hate them. Not big on the Manager and the Pitching coach.
And the solution is to add two overly expensive talented losers with personality issues.
That's why were all nuts right now.
Doug K.
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