Thursday, October 11, 2018

I, hereby, will go to my grave believing...

... That Aaron Boone's miserable decisions were a major factor in the recent Yankee meltdown, but we were not going to beat Boston. The better team won; they outclassed us. Still, everyone knows Boone left Severino and Sabathia in too long. What was he thinking? That they needed a vote of confidence for the rest of the season? There is no rest of the season. 

... That Gary Sanchez squandered the greatest chance he'll ever have to inscribe his name into Yankee history. That 3-2 pitch from Craig Kimbrel was a meatball, but Sanchez got under it. Ten more feet, and it's gone, and Sanchez vaults forever into Monument Park, his redemption ticket punched, architect of one of the great moments in Yankee history. Ten more feet, and we play Boston on stilts tonight. But he missed. He missed. 

The YES men talk about how hard Sanchez was working, doing damage control over his mid-season embarrassment. I dunno. We heard that shit in spring training, how he was going to elevate his game and become a star. He missed, and it won't surprise me if the Yankees this winter opt for a purely defensive catcher, like all the winning teams in the playoffs have.

... That if Giancarlo Stanton has a therapist, he or she should suggest that "G" asks to be traded. The Yankiverse will never forgive him for that series. Remember: It was the Redsocks. Of course, there will be no trade. His contract tethers him to us for life. He'll stay, even if we sign Bryce Harper and promote Clint Frazier. Stanton is our permanent DH. But he should take a long look at Jacoby Ellsbury, who doesn't even have parking privileges at the stadium anymore. One of these days, maybe sooner than we think, Stanton will become the new Jacoby. It will always be lucrative. But it won't be pretty. If he could engineer a trade to a smaller pond, with the Yankees paying a little per year, he could live happily as the big fish. And we wouldn't have to look at him. 

... That the short right field porch and the bandbox, homer-haven dimensions of Yankee Stadium undercut our ability to field a well-rounded team. It's been nearly 10 years in the new park, and aside from 2009, with the free agent infusion, what have we seen? Team after team of power-drunk whiffers, guys who notch 25 HRs by flicking at mistakes, and who are incapable of bunting to beat the over-shift. Meanwhile, our pitchers get pounded, as fly balls leave the park. I just looked it up: In the nine years of the new ballpark, only one Yankee starter with more than 150 innings has compiled an ERA of under 3.00. (Luis Severino, in 2017, with 2.98 - a stat that cruelly reveals his downward slide.)  You can homer your way through a regular season. Come October, when the best staffs are distilled, pitching always wins, and in this new park, we never seem to have it. 

... That, fundamentally, something is fundamentally wrong in the fundamental way the Yankees approach this fundamental game. It's - hmm, what's the word? - THE FUNDAFUCKINMENTALS! Watching the Redsocks steal bases, hit and run, make fielding plays... I kept wondering, why can't we do this? It's a question that should haunt Brian "Cooperstown" Cashman, who assembles teams with good numbers but which don't execute the essential tasks to win a championship. A lot of you want Cashman fired, if not railroaded to White Plains and hung in effigy. I don't. I just wish he were kicked upstairs, given one of those click-clack desk thingys, where he can make suggestions and not wheel and deal 24/7. The Yankees should not be run by the front office, or its post-game show surrogate. They need to be run by a wrinkled, tobacco-chewing gasbag who screams at the umps even when they get the call right, and who benches the superstar who jogs out a grounder. For all of Cashman's trade deadline churning - and some of it worked (Luke Voit, JA Happ) - I can't honestly say it got us any further than we'd have gone without them. Before the deals, we were the wild card team. And that's all we are now. 

... That it's a fine line between experiencing a post-season so ugly, so depressing, so soul-crushingly terrifying that you actually wish your team had not made it to the playoffs. There are times when that happens, when the embarrassment and humiliation is so intense that - all said and done - you wished we came in third. This was almost one of those situations. But I'm not there. We still have Aaron Judge. We still have Didi. There is Miguel Andujar (if he doesn't get traded) and Gleyber, and Hicksie and Luke and - yes - I'm still lighting a candle for Clint Frazier. Maybe Mean Chad Green can become the starter that he once was. And maybe Sevy - who knows? - was he tipping his pitches? If so, he can learn how not to. 

I will go to my grave believing these things. But that's another thing. I am fucking old, and it has dawned upon me that the Yankees may never win another World Series on my watch. We have become Boston's cat toy, a lackey to cuff around when they need to feel good about themselves. And it'll be another whole year of it. But damn, let's hope Houston doesn't make the same mistakes we did.


KD said...

are we of the same mind regarding moving the right field wall back 10 feet? I feel it is simply too tempting a target for our left handed batters. they will forever be hitting into the shift, hoping for the tater and batting 50 points below their potential (I still believe in batting averages, bitch). it kills us and distorts the game. Plus, from which side of the plate do our sluggers now hit? tell me out short porch makes sense. It has become an albatross.

This is a fact: we don't have a Babe Ruth. if one shows up, and we sign him, then maybe I'll change my mind. about as likely as duque wearing a MAGA hat.

13bit said...

Preach, Duque.

Somewhere out there, an old gasbag savior is wandering, waiting for us to find him.

I will keep waiting.

KD said...

so what you're saying, duque, is the Yanks need Earl Weaver? what an upgrade in entertainment value THAT would be! I'll bet Watson could be programed into "Earl Weaver Mode" but we'd need to wait for the robot body that could go out and cuss while kickingt dirt on the umps. Musk is working on that, I hear.

The only living boy in Wishaw said...

I tried commenting on another Yankees site throughout the year.

I got told three things

1 Being from Scotland and never having attended a game in person meant I had not enough knowledge to comment intelligently on baseball

2 My stating that a number of rental trades being made which made our farm system go from being the number 2 ranked in MLB to number 17 was me being shouted down as a 'prospect hugger' and all the prospects we gave away will probably amount to nothing (time will tell about that I guess)

But the way I see it the more near MLB quality players you have the better percentage chance you have of one of them actually being good when they get a shot.All the players we gave away I think I am correct in saying Voit is the only player we have to show for it and it remains to be seen if we just caught lightening in a bottle a la Shane Spencer or he is the real deal.

3 Worried that while beating the all time regular season home run record was great I was concerned that perhaps it was slightly expurgated as there wee some real dross team clearly tanking and when we reached the playoffs (Price excepted) we would face quality starters who would be much harder to hit and everyone swinging for the fences would probably not work against good pitchers. I was again told but more than one person I didn't understand the game.

Anyway I apologise to the good poster on here if you think I am talking mince (as we say in Scotland) as well just had to get it off my chest.
Thanks anyway to the nice folks I have met on this site and roll on next season

HoraceClarke66 said...

"Mince," I love it, Wishaw! My mother used to love mincemeat pies, which as kids we thought seemed like something from outer space.

No, you're not at all wrong—and yes, that is exactly the reaction almost anyone gets on those other blogs whenever they dare to question the sacred Home Run, or the sacred Analytics. It really is like Holy Writ to these folks, they would gladly put all of us skeptics to the stake if they could.

And one other thing: just as alarming as dealing away the prospect is, the complete decline of so many farmhands is also alarming.

Ironically, this may give Coops cover, if they are now permanently mediocre. He and his supporters will be able to say, "Oh, well, they weren't any good anyway, good thing we got rid of them"—as opposed to, "How come everybody in our system abruptly declines?"

TheWinWarblist said...


I could not have said it better myself.

Fuckin' juju ...

13bit said...

So, who are people going to root for here, aside from the "anybody who can rip off Boston's scrotal sack the fastest?"

TheWinWarblist said...

Milwaukee, I would think? Or Corbin to become a Yankee? Or Cashman to choke on a bag of dicks?

KD said...

Have to root for Milwaukee, as Wisconsin is my ancestral homeland. I'll never forget those lazy summers on the shore of placid Lake Winnebago and fishing for walleyes with my grandfather...

TheWinWarblist said...

KD, I'm sorry you had to suffer like that. No wonder you're a IIHIIFII...C regular.

TheWinWarblist said...

And a Good Scrotum Morning to you, Darling 13bit!

KD said...

and yet I've survived, Warblist. real men are tempered by fire and water. the water was for the fishing and the fire was for grilling the brats.

I am so jealous of 13bit. what makes him so special? besides the tiny fist, I mean.

Anonymous said...


It's a tough question.

Of course the enemy of my enemy is my friend but I reflexively root against any team from Texas. (Except the Spurs for some reason). So it's sort of a Stalin vs. Hitler style Hobson's Choice for me.

In the NL normally I'd go for LA because:

a) I was born in Brooklyn

b) I have a picture of Sandy Koufax in my office (and was a fan from 63' to 66'
because of him. I was nine. He struck out 15 Yankees in one game. He was
left handed, I was left handed. He was... you get it.

c) I've forgiven them for the Steve Garvey, Ron Cey years.

d) I lived there for 13 years.

But I'm firm in my belief that if they win:

a) Machado signs with them. and more importantly

b) They won't need Stanton to "put them over the top".

B >>>>> A.

So I guess Milwaukee but then there's the Bud Selig thing. I like Bob Uker.

So my answer is: The Giants over the Eagles.

Doug K.

13bit said...

Love you, too, Winnie.

I personally - again - think Cashman might enjoy choking on that "bag of dicks," in your happy phrase. I - again - would advocate for him to choke on a bag of shit that's being force fed to him while he is tied, spreadeagled, to stakes driven into the infield somewhere near the pitcher's mound.

And Doug, I have always loved Koufax and respect the long, solid and sordid history of the Dodgers, but they did abandon us, so my allegiance ends there. That being said, I'm usually loathe to root for any Texas team. That "Dallas Cowboys praying before the game" thing stuck in my craw for decades now. That being said, I must root for the Astros now and, if they drive the little putrid red shits into the sewer from whence they came, I may get fickle and change my allegiance before the next round. If the morons from beantown advance, then I"ll just have to keep rooting for the enemy of my enemy.

I'm telling you, we're not going to get rid of Stanton. How do I know? I don't, so maybe we will, but my inner scrotum tells me he's a Yankee forever, like Ass-Rod, who will hit many meaningless homers, but probably not sway any games.

JM said...

It's funny (not funny ha ha, but funny odd) that Scotland, Austria, and the Netherlands have produced such smart Yankees fans, while the other blogs prove that our homegrowns are mostly pathetic.

I can't talk about this team yet. I may disappear for a while. That was infuriating, heartbreaking, depressing...

Stanton still sucks, though.

HoraceClarke66 said...

Doug K., I see what you're saying, but I have to go with 13bit on this.

The Dodgers betrayed us. The Red Sox are what they are, just as the devil or Dr. Bogodan is what he is. In fact, the Sox are a little less demonic than they used to be, in that they are now willing to sign black and Hispanic players, even if their fans are still rip snorting racists.

But the Dodgers...

They left fabled Brooklyn for the money, period, and never looked back. They left even though they were already one of the most popular and profitable teams in baseball. They abandoned us, and I'm afraid I can never, ever root for them, even against the devilish red Sox.

So yes, Milwaukee or Houston, either one.

el duque said...

I cannot ever root for the Dodgers.

But if it's them or Boston...

Vampifella said...

Aww, come on. We all know if we did win then we'd surely loose tonight in Boston. It'd be a total something-to-zero shutdown too, just like how we lost to the 'Stos last year. I'm honestly surprised Boston didn't throw the game just so they could win it at home. No one wants to win away. But then again they are jerks and it hurts so much more to loose on home turf.

I'm going Brewers just because they never won a WS but honestly I couldn't care less who actually wins it this year. I just like to see teams finally win one.

TheWinWarblist said...

If it's LA and Boston in the World Series, I root for an asteroid impact that is at least an 8 on the Torino scale.

Buhner's Ghost said...

Hey Duque..."it's a fine line between experiencing a post-season so ugly, so depressing, so soul-crushingly terrifying that you actually wish your team had not made it to the playoffs."

Try 17 years and counting of not making the playoffs like the Mariners have, and a playoff defeat don't seem so bad. Get over it!

Anonymous said...


Yeah I know... But Houston? That city where all the bad ideas come from? I can't do it. It has to be an NL team.

More importantly. The Daily News online did not do "Keep em or Dump em." What did they fire the person that used to do it? That sucks. It's my chance to decide on the worth of every player, manager, coach and front office people using a simple up or down interface.

It's how I close the book on every NY sports team after a losing season. Now I feel incomplete. If they don't do it by the end of the day I'm going to have to do it here and that's a lot of typing.

Doug K.

TheWinWarblist said...

Again, and I cannot stress this enough, if it's LA and Boston in the World Series, I root for an asteroid impact that is at least an 8 on the Torino scale.

Go Asteroids.

Austria's Only Baseball Fan said...

KD: Hey, stop putting down the size of the fist in 13bit's logo - that mouse was one hell of a very successful brick-tosser (or are you lacking in your Americana?).

Speaking of which, thanks, John, for the shout-out to us foreigners. Good to see Whishaw back on the board (it's also the surname of one of my favorite actors). Did anyone ever figure out what happened to Urban Farmer?

Austria's Only Baseball Fan said...

And now I've screwed that up: sorry to you, Wishaw (no H). Verzeihen Sie mir, bitte.

The only living boy in Wishaw said...

No problem my friend

I am actually John M but that name is already taken

Scottish Yankee fan said...

Hi folks

I have joined blogger and changed my username of The only living boy in Wishaw

My name is John and I look forward to chatting to you througout the playoffs and cheering on ABBRS (anyone but Boston Red socks)

Thanks for the kind words in this thread towards me

HoraceClarke66 said...

Doug K., stuck in the midst of doing my taxes, but happy to help on the "Dump 'Em or Keep 'Em" front. Just give me a day or so.

I was going to assign Final Grades, after my Midterm Grades report, but this sounds fresher and more interesting, and can serve as a forum.

KD said...

Oh, I know the Krazy Kat mouse when I see it! Little dude had a tempter...

13bit said...

His name is Ignatz.

ranger_lp said...


KD said...

that challenge to me got me thinking about Krazy Kat and her lovely little mouse, so I went to the interwebs to reacquaint myself. Ignatz would have been a fine Yankees pitcher.

but Holy Cow! that strip would not be allowed in today's humorless, PC culture.

Thanks for keeping that humor alive, 13bit!