Wednesday, October 10, 2018

Reflections on a horrible season

Philosophical question: How can you win 100 games and still consider it a horrible season?

Answer: The 2018 Yankees.

I'm sorry, folks. I can't write today. Nothing there. I can't make sense. I can't hurl my feces with the usual intensity. I can't take this anymore. I should have known this season would die the way it lived... with the tying runner on second, and everybody swinging for a home run. All season, we knew what happens when homer-dependent teams face good pitching; the pitching always wins. When in history has that not been the case? So everything played out, just as it always did, and we were left holding the bag on 100 wins and a Wild Card. 

We remain the New York Yankees, Champions in 2009.

The Redsocks were an actual team, as opposed to our nine independent sluggers, swinging away, regardless of the situation. They were the plane, we were the egg-shaped thing with three wings and no propeller. The season started with Gammonites projecting Brian Cashman for the Hall of Fame, and it went downhill from there.

Listen: We saw that Aaron Judge is the real deal, and that Giancarlo Stanton is not. (I will never forget his horrendous lunges at pitches out of the strike zone last night in the ninth. Kimbrow was clearly struggling to throw strikes, so Stanton did him a favor. If I ever see him in an elevator, I'll go at him like those women did on Jeff Flake. If he's eating in a restaurant, I'll chase him out, like he's Sarah Huckabee Sanders. You've heard of Antifa? I'm starting Antigia. Stanton should never be allowed to appear in public without being physically and vocally confronted.) 

We watched our favorite old-time Yankees - Gardy and CC - play like clowns. Gardy overran that liner into left and botched the play. He's supposed to be a gold glover. Yes, it was a well hit ball, but a champion makes that play. As for CC, what was he even doing out there, as the third inning continued to unfold. Turns out that Robby had his A-game going; in an alternative universe, he might have pitched us out of that jam, rather than let us fall down by three. The game was lost in the third inning, and Aaron Boone looks like a post-season idiot. I'm tired of looking at the guy as he spits sunflower seeds onto the dugout floor. I hope they fire him.

Wait a minute. God, why am I doing this? Why am I going there? We were damn near shut out last night, and our best hitter - Miguel Andujar - never touched a bat. On every close play, we came up a micrometer short. And that's our millennium, folks: Boston owns us. They can celebrate another playoff victory, and we're supposed to celebrate that Food Stamps Hal Steinbrenner just saved 15 percent on car insurance - or luxury taxes. You know what I would celebrate? A detailed Justice Department probe into the tax breaks given the Yankees by the state and city of New York. 

Soon, blogs like this are supposed to pivot, to turn to next year, to speculate on who we'll buy, and to rummage through the detritus of 2018 and find meaning for the future. Fuck that. The glass is not half full. It's cracked and leaking.  We're nine years into the most fruitless Yankee decade in history, and we can't read an account that doesn't hail the front office as geniuses on the cusp of a dynasty. 

Last night, we saw an entire season play out in front of us, then swirl down the drain. We're supposed to get excited about 2019, about the free agents we'll sign? Watch Boston match us, player for player, pitcher for pitcher. They are the Yankees, and we are their whipping mule. Yeah, it was a horrible season. And you know what? I'm glad it's over.

28 comments:

13bit said...

Cashman is the ultimate cause for all the problems. We can't do anything about ownership and Hal doesn't care, so that's actually bad, as well, but getting a new GM would help.

13bit said...

They are addicted to the rituals from the dynasty days. When I kept seeing that photo of them in the locker room after clinching the bullshit wildcard game - plastic sheeting taped over the lockers, nice eye goggles pre-positioned for them, I wanted to puke. THEY SHOULD NOT HAVE BEEN CELEBRATING THAT WIN. They should have been penitent that it came to that, then all of them should have gone and run laps and done pushups under the moon in the outfield when everybody else went home. Why were they celebrating?

Joe Formerlyof Brooklyn said...


"What might have been" ...... a seriously depressing phrase.

Last night changed me forever on Aaron Boone. I was willing to give him the benefit of the doubt. After all, he had to do without Judge for what, 40-odd games? That could have led to a devastating tailspin that took the team out of the playoffs.

BUT....

Playing Neil Walker (at all) in the playoffs -- short of an injury to someone -- is already unforgivable.

NOT playing Miggy is worse than that, if there is a "worse than that."

Let's not forget that the NYYs fired Bucky after he -- the manager -- choked in the 1995 playoffs. At least, that's the way it seemed to me at the time. Therefore, it can be (has been) -- done.

Aaron Boone CHOKED. That's all there is. Maybe Miggy doesn't win us the game. But I would bet if you got into the brains of all 25 Yankee players -- including Walker -- they were thinking, when they saw the line-up....."WFT?????"

That's TWO before-the-game nightmares. The first was Game Three's "where the heck is Sevy?" brain attack. This disaster was pretty easy to avoid, doncha think?

So...

I am going to stop posting for a while. Not that y'all will miss me, but how many times can you put up with a guy smearing fresh, wet dung all over Boone?

But, yes -- I'll still lurk. I like it around here!

Local Bargain Jerk said...


how many times can you put up with a guy smearing fresh, wet dung all over Boone?

Several more times, actually. No need to stop posting.

John M said...

I'm not sure today's hangover is from the whiskey. This is just awful.

HoraceClarke66 said...

Amen, Duque and 13bit. And say it ain't so, Joe FOB! We need everyone on hand to sit shiva for this bunch of wastrels, no doubt already happily ensconced on a golf course somewhere, not giving a thought to what will haunt us all season.

The Stanton at-bat was disgraceful, and one that will live in infamy. We got a break of breaks with Kimbrel's meltdown. He had nothing at all, and if Stanton had managed to just squib a single or let him walk him, that is an entirely different game and maybe series last night.

I still can't really say that picking up Stanton was a horrible idea. We gave up very little for him, and as things worked out with the injuries and Coops' idiotic outfielders-for-rental-pitchers deals, I honestly don't know who we would have played out there at certain times.

Yes, the Sox outdid us by signing Martinez...but a likely juicer with a long injury history was risk in itself.

But then, that is the difference between having a GM who seems to be no more knowledgeable than we are, reading the stats, and a front office able to identify truly effective players for them.

Not always. Boston has its misfires, too. But not nearly so many, and not with such ungodly long commitments. Bad as last night was, Stanton has not yet begun to hurt us. He ought to take any trade we can arrange.

Carl Weitz said...

I can only sit Shiva after I grow a few more arms. (Bad joke, I know but I need any little bit of humor today even if its horrible humor).

Look, the Red Sox and the Astros play like a team using fundamentals to win games that we don't. It's why we lost so many one-run games this season. Both have aces and the Astros a complete pitching rotation. What do we have? Formerly good pitchers demolished by Larry Rothschild. Our ace turns out to be Pascual Perez, Jr. who has getting to the game on time issues. Our manager and coaches are second-rate because Cashman could get them on the cheap like he tries to build half of the 25 man roster. Our owner is as detached and bottom-line driven as the drunken James Dolan who owns the NBA laughingstock franchise and soon-to-be joke of the NHL.

But everyone here has mentioned these flaws ad nauseum. This dead horse can no longer be beaten by angry fans. It's time for readers and writers of this blog to take a cue from nature and hibernate like bears (at least until December's Hot Stove League commences). Or we will all have worse mental health, anger and substance abuse problems.

Ken of Brooklyn said...

AMEN Carl Weitz!

You've all dissected this team better than I ever could. Last night's 9th inning let down was the entire season in one nauseatingly putrid yet all to familiar haiku.

Thank you all for being here! IIHIIFIIC is BY FAR the best thing about New York Yankees for me!

Anonymous said...


Ken, here's your putrid haiku

Boone shows his true self
AnDUjar rots, Stanton flails,
Not High, Far, just Gone.

Doug K.

Carl Weitz said...

LOL, Doug!

Anonymous said...

Oh, Duque at some point can we do a "Keep em or Dump em" like they do in the Daily News?

Or is that moot? Maybe a limited one because I don't see Cashman, Boone, Rothchild and Gray fairing well but there are some interesting decisions coming up like

Britton, Robertson, CC, Gardy etc.

Or we could do a "Dump on em" As it "What would you like to see dumped on Boone's head?"

Doug K. (Hopefully next year my moniker can be "Whither Goest Sonny Gray"

Ken of Brooklyn said...

MIC DROP Doug K> LOL!!!!!!!!!!!!

Anonymous said...

THE LOSS HANGOVER WAS HORRIBLE THIS MORNING.

LETS GIVE A QUICK RECAP OF COOP CASHMAN'S "HALL OF FAME" PAST OFF-SEASON.

HE TRADED FOR GIANCARLO FUCK-FACE (FOR 10 FUCKING YEARS!)-(WHICH WILL MAKE "DJ" LOOK BRILLIANT WHEN JORGE GUZMAN ARRIVES).... A $300 MILLION DOLLAR DH WHO CAN'T HIT RIGHT HANDED PITCHERS, NEVER HITS IN THE CLUTCH, AND DOESN'T RUN OR FIELD WELL.

HE SIGNED NEIL WALKER (FOR A DEAL! ONLY 3 MILL!)..- HE SUCKED.

....AND HE HELD THAT RIDICULOUS, NEVER ENDING, "MANAGERIAL INTERVIEW", WHICH CAME UP WITH THE BRILLIANT BASEBALL MIND OF AARON BOONE.

FUCK ME.

THAT LITTLE RESUME RIGHT THERE IS THE STUFF THAT SHOULD GET A GM SHIT-CANNED.

THERE IS SO MUCH TO BITCH AND COMPLAIN ABOUT, BUT I DON'T HAVE THE TIME.

I FIND IT AMAZING THAT AFTER THIS ENTIRE SEASON, AFTER ALL THE BULLSHIT, THE PLAYER PERSONNEL CHANGES, THE DEALS, TRADES, AND THE BIG "HOME RUN RECORD", THE SAME GOD DAMN THING APPLIES AS IT DID LAST SEASON, AND THE ONE BEFORE THAT, AND THE ONE BEFORE THAT, AND THE ONE BEFORE THAT....

WE STILL CAN'T HIT!!

ESPECIALLY IN THE CLUTCH.

ESPECIALLY IN THE PLAYOFFS.

PAIN...

PAIN.



BernBabyBern said...

Watching the Yankees in the playoffs was like watching Mike Tyson when he was signed by Don King. He still won fights and everyone marveled at how big and strong and powerful he was, but in reality he was a rudderless ship. He had no guidance. When he finally fought somebody who decided to fight back, a mildly talented Buster Douglas, Tyson was lost and his cornermen (hand-picked by King) were clueless. Their advice consisted of the yelling things like "C'mon, Mike!" and "Knock him out!" They were totally out of their depth. They didn't even have an Enswell in the corner in case he had any swelling or a cut. They had no experience, no clue, and Tyson had no chance.

That was Boone, Cash & Hal's guy, picked in part because he was well-spoken and had a TV background. Yep, they won 100 games despite a bunch of injuries. But really, at any point did any of you think Boone was a reason? His managing in the playoffs was mind-boggling, as everyone has pointed out. It was almost as if he'd never coached at all, at any professional level

Oh, wait, he hadn't.

But he was well-spoken and had been on TV. So, he was qualified.

Hey, el Duque, can we do a "The Wrong Earth" thing (you should all get that comic, BTW, it's great) and find an alternate universe where the Yankees hired Tony Pena instead of Boone? I think we'd like that universe better right about now.

el duque said...

I'm thinking Carlos Beltran would have been a great Yankee manager.

TheWinWarblist said...

Fuck Cashman.

Anonymous said...

When that lineup was posted without Andujar, the stench of panic and sweat began to pervade the entire team, the sense that management had no faith in them, that the team was being run by fools and incompetents. The air was out of that team before the first pitch was thrown.

Anonymous said...

Carlos Beltran? How about Hensley Meulens? That was the obvious choice. Of course, Cashman thought it was a great idea to hire someone who had never even coached a Little League team.

Anonymous said...

Where's Georgie..."Winning is second only to breathing!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"? Not with these owners and asshole GM!!!!!!!!!!!!

TheWinWarblist said...

Fuck Cashman. Roughly in the mouth until he gags.

13bit said...

He might enjoy that, Winnie. Far more likely that he would find the old "human toilet" trick less enjoyable.

Joe F said...

I will be posting FUCK BOONE until the post post seasseason is over....
I have to endure the torture of the rest of the month as the mlb univers HAIL Altuve and come up with some bullshit reason that Ohtani deserves ROY over anDUjar. Boones choke job lineup sure won't help that discussion at all

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