WASHINGTON _ Aides to Dick Cheney say the Vice President plans a "massive overhaul" of the Yankees today while skipper Joe Torre undergoes an embarrassing anal procedure.
But Cheney --citing his definition of the Vice Presidency as part of the legislative, executive and Yankee branches of government -- won't discuss plans until "scope time."
Sources indicate the following changes:
1. Media coverage of games will be curtailed, with only Yankee runs reported.
2. To better understand why some players are slumping, management will be allowed to use enhanced interrogation techniques, including waterboarding and electroshock, during clubhouse confrontations.
3. The franchise headquarters will be moved to Dubai.
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As as technical matter and, in keeping with Governmental regulations, President Cheny will keep his 99.8 % ownership of Yankee stock in a blind trust, located in Dubai.
With the AL East going so well, Cheney will expand the race to other divisions.
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