Papelbon's hatred for Boston burns hotter than a million suns

I'm starting to like Jonathan Papelbon. Maybe it's the cute way he puckers, so the lips turn wart-colored and his jowls widen, like a frog hooked up to gas station tire inflator. Maybe it's his gumption, the way he'd slam his mitt onto the dugout wall after giving up the run that ended Boston's year. But, nope. That's not it. You know what I really like about the guy? His unquenchable, Sartre-like thirst for the Truth.

The other day, he went on a Philadelphia radio station and spake this testimony:

The difference between Boston and Philadelphia, the Boston fans are a little bit more hysterical when it comes to the game of baseball. The Philly fans, I think they tend to know the game a little better, being in the National League, you know, the way the game is played. I’ve had a guy take of his prosthetic leg and throw it in the bullpen in Boston...

You hate ‘em [Yankees] when you play in between the lines. But there's a fine line here. That hate and that passion to beat them was in between the lines, and that was it. I would have definitely entertained the decision to go to the Yankees if that was there, but obviously it wasn't.


In Boston, his words have gone over like RuPaul at a Rick Santorum rally. The Redsock Nation is crazy with bloodlust. They're eating rocks and setting fire to their prosthetic legs. Wouldn't it be nice, though, if they go a few years without a replacement?