Tuesday, January 23, 2018

For your consideration: The IT IS HIGH All-Yankee 2018 Hall of Fame Ballot

Players, year of eligibility, last year's % of vote
First, let's note that without Roger Maris, Thurman Munson, Willie Randolph and Bernie Williams, the national Baseball Hall of Fame is a sick joke perpetrated by the lie that Abner Doubleday invented baseball in some cow pasture near Cooperstown, which is like saying Paris Hilton invented herpes.

Seriously. That Roger Maris remains unrecognized by the Hall - the greatest single season home run hitter in history whose head didn't grow the size of a beach ball - is an indictment of all other great but short-lived careers, most notably Saint Sandy of LA. That Thurman and Willie go overlooked are simple cases of anti-Yankee bias among the Gammonites. And, as for Bernie, apparently, those four championships - a feat we won't see again in our lifetimes - won themselves. 

Playing in NYC has its perks - both financial and reproductive - but getting voted into the Hall of Fame is not one. Kirby Pucket goes in after 12 years, everybody feeling bad because an eye injury ended his career. Then he becomes a groping, one-man #MeToo inspiration. But Bernie plays 16 seasons, holds down CF, bats third for great teams, becomes a renowned guitarist - yet players from Nowhere, Minnesota, deserve extra recognition, right?
So... my votes:

Rocket Roger Clemens. You know what? I'd vote for this guy just to piss off Redsock fans, because last time I heard, he was never going to wear another Boston cap due to the horrible way his wife was treated at Fenway. Yeah, there's the steroids thing, but if you want to start applying morality to Cooperstown - well, how about Babe Ruth (drunk), Cap Anson (racist), Orlando Cepeda (pot smuggler), Gaylord Perry (spitball cheater) Rogers Hornsby (gambler), Duke Snider (tax cheat), Maury Wills (coke fiend), Wade Boggs (sex addict), Ted Williams (womanizer), Ty Cobb (evil incarnate) and many, many more. Yeah, Rocket did steroids. He also did USO tours for the troops in the Persian Gulf and once inspired Suzyn Waldman to near blow out her vocal chords. Someday, a new generation of writers will vote him into the Hall. Does he have to die first? 

Mike Mussina. In his final year, 2008, Moose broke the jinx and won 20 - the lone source of pride on a godforsaken Yankee team. (Remember how our playoffs hopes ended? Joggy Cano watched a ground ball roll into right field without even diving.) Let's not kid ourselves: Mussina would go in wearing an O's cap - 10 years in Baltimore vs 8 with us. And, damn, if only Carl Everett hadn't blooped a single into left center - on a 1-2 count no less - Moose would have thrown a perfect game, and I think his plaque would be assured. (Fun fact: The losing pitcher for Boston that night was David Cone, who also belongs in the Hall!)

Gary Sheffield. No relation to Justus. He actually hurt us in the 2003 World Series against Florida. But I like Shef because he once took a punch from a fan in Boston, while chasing a foul, and damn he was pissed. Great hitter, too. Remember "the team of a thousand runs?" "Murderer's Row, and then Cano?" Unfortunately, neither team won it. (Again, see: REASONS BERNIE BELONGS IN COOPERSTOWN.)

Johnny Damon. He'd probably go in wearing a Royals cap - six seasons in KC, four in both Boston and New York - and his grand slam against Javier Vanquished Vazquez effectively ended the Curse of the Bambino. But the guy once stole two bases on one pitch, and in the end, when Boston tried to acquire him for a stretch drive, he said no, still feeling betrayed. He loved being a Yankee. 

Hideki Matsui. Come on, folks, a great Yankee. In game six of the 2009 World Series, he went 3-4 with a HR, a two-run double and a 2-run single. But I still think of his critical double in the eighth inning of the 2003 Aaron Boone game - Boston left Pedro in, even though lefty Alan Embree was ready - which rallied us from a 5-2 deficit. Said to have great porn collection, too!

It's possible - no, PROBABLE - that no Yankee will be selected this year. Moose is probably our best bet, and the tide hasn't turned on Clemens. But to all those Boston fans who scream about the Rocket's drug-tainted records, lets look forward to hearing them rationalize Big Papi's enshrinement, when his drug-tainted record becomes eligible. 

19 comments:

Local Bargain Jerk said...


Wait. Paris Hilton didn't invent herpes?

Stang said...

Wait. It's immoral to be a drunk?

JM said...

I'm with Mustang. That has to be a misprint, Duque.

Alphonso said...

Is Orlando Cepeda still alive, and do you have his address?

The Ghost of Yankees Past said...

I don’t get Bernie Williams not being in the HOF. When you look at the number of years he played, the individual and team success he had, it makes no sense.

HoraceClarke66 said...

Great piece, Duque.

The HOF was always more than a little ridiculous—it's in Cooperstown because that's where Abner Doubleday "invented" the game, but guess who's NOT in the Hall?—but PEDs have driven the voters completely around the bend.

Okay, granted, the morality clause is and always was a farce. Fine by me. The argument against PED users—and it's a considerable one—is that they were essentially cheating.

Again, I can buy that. But the HOF now seems to be determining its future members on the basis NOT of actual PED use, but of how you DEALT with that PED use.

Mike Piazza, makes denials nobody believes and quietly goes away?

He gets a 4-year delay penalty, then goes in.

Clemens, who was likely a HOFer before he ever touched a roid, but who made big, noisy denials and tried to throw his trainer under the bus?

He's not going in until, as you say, he's dead.

And then, yeah, what ABOUT Bernie, who has said himself that hey, if he wasn't using—and all signs say he was NOT—but had that career playing AGAINST so many users...shouldn't he be in?

HoraceClarke66 said...

All right, so who SHOULD go into the Hall which SHOULD be located in NYC, where what we think of as modern baseball was actually invented?

I'd take Bernie, and Godzilla, who had all those years in Japan.

And...Jorge, whose stats are right there with many HOF catchers.

Jorge is only NOT a shoo-in because he was usually considered to be "only" the second-best catcher in the AL, behind I-Rod...who was, of course, juicing. But who won't be called on it because he went away quietly (see the Piazza Rule).

And I'd put in Roger, who is an ass, but who was, again HOF before the PEDs.

As for Mike Mussina...

No.

I thought he was a terrible big-game pitcher, only performing when he was expected to lose, such as when he was facing Pedro. He never pitched through the small hurts, never picked up the team when it needed a lift, always sulked and complained.

All that "he's being penalized for just winning 20 games once" stuff? He pitched for some of the best-hitting teams in baseball history.

Oh, and when he finally got that 20th win? An ailing Mariano came out of the pen to nail it down for him, in a game that meant nothing.

About 2 months into his premature retirement, Mussina volunteered to the press that Rivera's losses in 2001 and 2004 were the reasons why the Yanks never won it while he was on the team.

Thanks, Mike. And see you in hell, not the Hall.

HoraceClarke66 said...

Oh, and, sigh, no soccer, no Yankees.

It remains Soccer 11, Yankees 1.

A. Queequeg Jacobs said...

You appear to be forgetting the illustrious Yankee careers of both Andruw Jones and Kerry Wood.

Carl J. Weitz said...

Hey....I'm just happy that the Moody Blues finally got in the HOF after one-hit-wonders and obscure "artists" got the nod over them. Hell, they only lasted 50 + yrs, sold tens of millions of records and played before tens of millions more.

Wait....oh, THAT HOF. Never mind!!!

Publius said...

Once upon a time, not so long ago in fact, a self-righteous "great Yanks snubbed by HOF" rant could begin and end with Don Mattingly. No mention here though. We all get it, not good enpugh for long enough. And I can overlook Willie. But Johnny Damon? For tje love of Yogi...kids these days.

Anonymous said...

I was going to give you my Hall of Fame Choices (Rectification Edition) but I got caught up in the Clemens thing.

Duque - Roger Clemens? No No and Hell No. He doesn't get those extra years of greatness that lets him qualify without cheating. Fuck him. Plus he's a Red Sock so double on that.

To your examples...

Ruth (drunk)Means he's even greater! Being Drunk isn't cheating although it can lead to it if you're married. He did all that hungover! I know no one here drinks but I've heard that it makes it harder to focus. Plus no night games! So he didn't even get time to sober up before the 7PM start. He should be King of the Hall of Fame.

Cap Anson (racist) Being an asshole isn't cheating. The only thing I can say though is having better stats because you don't face all of the best players is lame.

Orlando Cepeda (pot smuggler) Again, not cheating. It's not striking guys out because you "found" and extra 5MPH on your fastball in a syringe. Also, as with the Babe - if he did all that stoned. That's epic!

Gaylord Perry (spitball cheater) Yep. Fuck him too.

Rogers Hornsby (gambler) on baseball games he played in? I don't know and am too lazy to check. If it was horses and fixed boxing matches I'm good with him.

Duke Snider (tax cheat) But not Baseball Cheat.

Maury Wills (coke) fiend)heresthethingaboutmaurywillsifhewasdoingcokeduringthegamesthenhe'scheatingbutifhewasgettingallccokedupatnightnadthenplayingthat'sok. Also, does this mean he was stealing the bases and then selling them for crack?

Wade Boggs (sex addict) Uh... so? I get that your making a morals case but that should have given him tired legs. And at least the chicken was the eating kind.

Ted Williams (womanizer)See above minus the chicken reference.

Ty Cobb (evil incarnate) Major Douche Bag. Probably cheated because he was that kind of guy. You can throw him out because (From field of dreams) "Ty Cobb wanted to play but none of us could stand the son of a bitch while were alive so we told him to stick it."

Doug K.

HoraceClarke66 said...

Doug K., great post!

I know, the Babe was just handicapping himself...AND HE WAS STILL THAT GREAT!

They played afternoon games in those heavy woolen uniforms, and air-conditioning in the clubhouse? Fuhgeddaboutit!

The Babe's way of cooling down? I'm not making this up: he used to put a cabbage leaf on top of his head, back in the dugout. Oh, and he'd usually send a batboy up in the stands to buy him 5-6 hot dogs during the game.

The man was unreal. The craziest thing I ever read about him? Apparently he liked to pick up a pitcher of ice tea and just chug it—ice cubes, lemon slices, and all.

That's where we're coming from!!!

Anonymous said...

All right - now to my All Time Hall of Fame Rectification Ballot

1) Marvin Miller - From the New York Times "Marvin Miller, an economist and labor leader who became one of the most important figures in baseball history by building the major league players union into a force that revolutionized the game and ultimately transformed all of professional sports, died on Tuesday at his home in Manhattan. He was 95." How is he not in the hall?

2) Bob Uecker - Sure he was given the Ford C. Frick Award in 2003, "major contributions to baseball." But according to Wikipedia (So you KNOW it's true)"Uecker was inducted into the Celebrity Wing of the WWE Hall of Fame in 2010,honored for his appearances at WrestleMania III and WrestleMania IV."
So he's in the Wrestling Hall of Fame but not in MLB's Hall of Fame? This is a shonda.

3) Jim Bouton -- OK I know he really doesn't deserve it but he is my favorite baseball entity. Pitcher for the Yankees (In a World Series), Wrote one of, if not the, greatest baseball books of all time and changed the face of sport literature AND Invented Big League Chew - The chewing gum that comes in a pouch. The man is a triple baseball threat. Oh,and funny. At least an exhibit. Something.

4) Lipman Pike - According to jewishbaseballplayer.com "Lipman E. (Lip) Pike became baseball’s first professional in 1866 when he played third base for the Philadelphia Athletics at a salary of $20 per week." Plus his name was Lipman. Lipman, who names a kid Lipman?

5) Last One - Harry M. Stevens. Yes that Harry M. Stevens. Mental Floss.com will explain. "Others say a Brit by the name of Harry M. Stevens was responsible. According to that account, Stevens, who normally sold ice cream, decided to switch to what he described as “dachshund sausages” one frigid day. (Allegedly, a cartoonist who couldn’t spell “dachshund” was responsible for coining the term “hot dog.”) Whoever first brought them to ball fans, then, as now, the dogs were perfect stadium fare: cheap and highly customizable with toppings. (And for the calorie conscious, hot dogs usually top off at around 250 calories with the bun.) If they won't give him a place in the hall the least they could do is give him the concessions.

Doug K.

Rufus T. Firefly said...

Maris deserves it for multiple reasons:

He is the REAL home run king.
He was in 7 WS in 12 years.

He was from Hibbing, MN, birthplace of:
Robert Zimmerman
Gary Puckett
Robert Mondavi

Clemens and Bonds. NFW.



HoraceClarke66 said...

Very true, Rufus. And for no dollars in the championship, what was the name he was born with?

Rufus T. Firefly said...

Who are you asking about? Maris? it was Roger. If you talking (cue hysterical Suzyn) Roger Clemens! Then it is William.

And BFD was born Russell Earl O'Dey.

BernBabyBern said...

Wait, if Paris Hilton did not, in fact, invent herpes, then is she going to be removed from the Herpes Hall of Fame?

Isiyku Abdulahi said...


I really want the world to know about this great man who brought back happiness into my life again after my husband left me and the kids 3 years ago for another women online when i contacted Dr Believe he cast a love spell for me within 48 hours my ex husband start calling me and begging for forgiveness for everything that have happened between us. I was so happy to have my family back together with love again here is the email of Dr Believe via believelovespelltemple@gmail.com a man with the great powers you can also call him or add him on Whats-app: +2348156148821
God bless you
I am very grateful for your help in my marriage.