Yesterday, Cooperstown Cashman told the Murdoch Post that he'll happily enter 2018 with two rookies in the Yankee lineup. Rather than being deported to Scranton, where they might grow third testicles from drinking the frack water, Glyber Torres and Miguel Andujar would play 2b and 3b, respectively. And for one glorious moment, let us imagine the ages of next season's potential lineup.
Gardy lf 34
Judge rf 26
Stanton dh 29
Bird 1b 25
Sanchez c 25
Didi ss 28
Hicks cf 28
Glyber 2b 22
Andujar 3b 23
Wow. Grok them crazy-ass numbers, amigo! Replace Gardy with Red Thunder (age 23) and nobody's over 30. Comrades, this is a lineup that wins multiple divisional titles. Five years from now, there is still nobody old enough to run for President, or too old for Demi Moore. Add Bryce or Manny (both 25) and this team reaches the playoffs 11 out of 10 years and adds an extra wall to Monument Park.
Aww, but why kid ourselves? If we've learned anything from following Cashman over the last 20 years, it's that he never reveals his hand in public. He doesn't flag trades, and when he talks to a Gammonite, it is to send coded messages to certain teams, players and their Jerry Maguires. In talking up Glyber and Andujar, you have to think he was sending certified mail to Todd Frazier (age 31) and some Howie Kendricks types (he's 34) in the free agent girl pool, saying their demands must plummet. It's a mating dance with Arli$$, and even if it means re-signing Stephen Drew - the most odious move imaginable within the Yankiverse - rest assured that Cash will haul in some ancient infielder who will need creamed corn to be added to the clubhouse buffet.
Listen: It won't be the end of the world if the Yankees find a cheap one-year implant to secure the defense, in case Glyber or Andujar arrive in Tampa this spring damaged from the factory. The fear remains that Andujar will end up being traded for another Cashmanic "power elbow," the Sonny Gray types who have thrown too many innings for too many seasons. This winter, the Yankees have pulled off one of the greatest heists since Babe and "No No Nanette" - let me say the words again: "Giancarlo Stanton is a Yankee!" - and from now on, everything is Cashman's to blow. Let's hope his words match his deeds.
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6 comments:
The best thing about that lineup/age table is that Didi Gregorious is 28.
Sir Didi hit .287 in 2017 with 25 HRs and 87 RBIs ... and missed the first month of the season. I love that guy.
Despite all the other luminaries on the field, I'll scream loudest for Gregorious during the player introductions next Opening Day.
Let's just hope this is not another instance of Crackhead Cash talking trash while furiously pulling the trade levers behind the scenes, all in service of a dramatic "surprise announcement" about a deal he could not refuse. Crackhead Cash is a one-trick pony. It's a cold, icy, run-on sentence kind of day, yes it is.
I'll buy and proudly wear a Yankees shirt with CASHMAN across the back if he will only stand pat...
That's my JuJu for the day.
I share the same fears. And it just baffles me that I read so much commentary saying, "The Yanks have a need for a second baseman and a third baseman."
Currently, the people filling those spots are likely to be:
—The highest rated prospect in baseball
—A guy who's raked everywhere he's been, hit .315 in Triple A last year, and hit nothing but frozen ropes during his cup of coffee in the Bronx.
If this were going on in Queens, they'd be dancing in their bizarrely arranged streets.
I just don't get it. It's like rookies don't exist for these guys, at least not on the Yankees.
We just saw the Red Sox pull a hitter out of, what, Double-A down the stretch drive last year. That means nothing?
Yes, rookies sometimes flop. You know who also flops? Mediocre veterans whose game went years ago.
And hey, behind these kids, we also have Torreyes and Wade, who already can do twice the job Drew or T. Frazier can.
Geesh!
WOW HOSS....
THAT WAS A BEAUTIFULLY LAID OUT AND ARRANGED SEGMENT THAT WAS PINPOINT IN ITS VIEW.
I HAVE BEEN SAYING IT FOR YEARS.
COUNTLESS TEAMS PLUG IN THEIR BEST PROSPECTS TO BEGIN A SEASON ALL THE TIME.
....BUT WE STILL TREAT THE PLAYERS IN OUR FARM SYSTEM LIKE CRAP EVEN THOUGH MANY ARE NOW CONSIDERED TOP-RATED AND BONAFIDE STUDS.
CASHMAN HAS ALWAYS CONSIDERED THE GRASS IS ALWAYS GREENER WITH OTHER TEAMS PROSPECTS, AND CASTOFFS OTHER THAN HIS OWN.
WHO IS HE KIDDING?
TODD FATHER II IS COMING.
WE BETTER QUICKLY SEE GLEYBER AT 2ND THOUGH OR IT'S GONNA BE REVOLT TIME AGAIN.
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