Last night, Lorenzo Cain signed a five-year, $80 million deal with the Brewers - yeah, the Brewers - who then emptied out their farm system for the last coveted Marlin: outfielder Christian Yelich.
And thus, another team we desperately hoped might absorb half of Jacoby Ellsbury's contract has vanished from the fantasy board. (Actually, the Brewers were never a candidate, because the Chief surely would nix a trade to 'Waukee.") Right now, for any team to take Ellsbury, it's going to require an outfield collision or #MeToo scandal that includes clubhouse video. Ells is going to play for the Yankees, and we might as well make the best of it.
Whenever cheapo owners in the AL or NL Central abruptly decide to ramp up for a pennant chase, it's like the Crown Prince of West Tunisia welcoming the country's first McDonalds. You think, Hey, enjoy the Happy Meals, big guy, but don't say we didn't warn you. Cain and Yelich are merely two stars the Yankees didn't need and won't have to face on any regular basis. Stick them in the Central - doesn't matter which league - and they might as well play in Japan. In fact, it's nice to see Milwaukee making a run of it, rather play dead for the Cubs and Cards.
What will happen soon - maybe today - will challenge our "winning of the winter." Boston will sign somebody - probably Martinez - and the Rays will trade Chris Archer for a pile of prospects, who always do well, because there's no pressure playing in front of 200 fans. It's possible that Baltimore - where Buck Showalter currently sits in a closed garage with two cars running and a loaded Luger in his mouth - will put Manny Machado on the block, tossing a grenade into the gas well of spring training. Or Toronto might do it with Josh Donaldson. Hell is waiting to break loose.
Listen: We've sat here - fat, drunk and stupid for the last five weeks, since the Marlins gave us Giancarlo at an outlet store price. Only Boston and Tampa stand in our way to the Division, and the Rays would need a mini-miracle. It's basically Boston, and soon we'll know their counter move.
If - or when - they sign Martinez, that will put Hanley Ramirez in limbo, where I think he owns a condo. They'll probably shop him everywhere, for whatever they can get. They'll have Chris Sales and Mookie Betts, and if David Price ever gets his act together, they'll have a formidable rotation. It's going to happen soon. The earthquakes are coming. Tape the windows. Buy canned food. Head for high ground. The siren will be flashing. This will not be a test.
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It sucks that Ells will take up roster space, but it could be worse. Five years ago they'd have played him every day because he has the most status (money). They seem to have learned that lesson, for awhile anyway.
Oh, it could definitely be worse.
There were no soccer and no Yankees (of course) articles in the Times today again. But there was a sad little item on the last column of p. B11: "Mets Re-Sign Reyes to Fill Infield Void."
Oh, Mets.
The Mets are like that passage in "The Devil and Daniel Webster" when the devil takes out his handkerchief and this tiny shriveled soul he's collected tries to escape from it, crying out to his neighbor for help.
The Mets are our own, perpetual Pottersville, existing right across the river from our lovely Bedford Falls of a franchise, showing us that, no matter how much we bitch and moan, just how much worse things COULD be.
"Reyes to Fill Void."
But it's all one big void over in Flushing, isn't it? And it never does get filled, anymore than Dom Smith's stomach does.
Sure, I know these words are headed straight to JuJu gods HQ. And these days, in the Bud Selig Parody—sorry, PARITY— League, with one-third of all teams making the playoffs, who knows what could happen?
If the Queens team gets its arms back, Cespedes stays on the field, Conforto becomes everything they hope—a couple weeks ago on the Mets Network they actually had people insisting they would still take Conforto over Judge—it could be them popping the champagne in October, not us.
But we know that's not going to happen.
I am so looking forward to this season—and then it occurred to me that it was the 20th anniversary of that astonishing 1998 team, best team in baseball history, by my lights.
And 20 years before that, it was that amazing 1978 team that was the love of my baseball life.
And 20 years before that...well, I was not yet 1. But Mickey and Yogi and Whitey and Casey came back from down 3-1 in the Series to beat the Braves.
And 20 years before that, it was Joe Gordon's first year (and Gehrig's last full one), and DiMaggio and Dickey, and Gomez and Ruffing swept the Cubs, and 10 years before THAT the Yanks swept the Cardinals despite having half the team injured, because they simply could not get Ruth and Gehrig out.
This has been going on for almost 100 years now, ever since, as The Boss sings, the Big Man joined the band, in 1920.
Not to go all Karen Carpenter, every sha-la-la-la, every wo-o-wo-o, it's yesterday once more on us.
But there's been nothing else like it. Not in baseball. Not in all of North American sports, as far as I can figure.
The Patriots dynasty goes back to 2001. The Celtics have won 1 championship since 1986. The Canadiens last hoisted the Stanley Cup that same year.
Nothing like it in all the world, so far I can tell, though maybe there is some Bulgarian Premier Division soccer team that has just DOMINATED.
Nothing like the Yankees.
For all our (very legitimate!) complaints—offered up as painful howls of sacrifice to the J.J. deities—it's the best.
And hey, right now we could be telling ourselves that it's not so bad, Jose Reyes still has something left...
Hoss,
Don't even think such things. The Reyes creature is off the board. He cannot be our 3B.
No MLB front office is as dumb as the Yankee fans who keep fantasizing that some team is itching to add an overpriced dud like Ellsbury to its roster.
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