As we now know, nothing happened. Nada. Somewhere in Connecticut, Brian "Cooperstown" Cashman enjoyed a traditional rock-a-hula Christmas, sipping wassail from Santa's boot and decorating the tree with the ornamental balls of various Scranton Railriders. And frankly, we should not have been surprised.
There was no cause for Coop to deal. Boston was still in winter hibernation.
Technically, the Redsocks had signed 1B Mitch Moreland to a two-year deal, but whoop-dee-fukkin-doo! What they hadn't done is match the Yankee trade for Giancarlo Stanton, and they won't - not this winter, anyway. Still, yesterday's internet buzzed with the news that Boston has offered J.D. Martinez - best free agent hitter on the market - a five-year deal and a shit-ton of cash. Last year, Martinez hit 45 HRs and .303, and he'd anchor the heart of the 2018 Redsock lineup.
That's not to say Boston will land him. Martinez supposedly wants a 7-year deal, and he's 30, which shouts "JACOBY ELLSBURY CONTRACT!" Still, Boston has awoken - they have money to burn, and they plan to spend it - which means Cooperstown soon will trade his chalice for the phone... which means "Commence worrying." With Martinez, here's a possible Redsock lineup.
Dustin Pedroia
Mookie Betts
Andrew Benintendi
JD Martinez
Xander Bogaertes
Mitch Moreland
Rafael Devers
Jackie Bradely Jr.
Christian Vasquez
(Odd man out is Hanley Ramirez, who hit 23 HRs.)
Listen: Tampa and Baltimore are already punting on 2018; they'll use the Astros' "tank" model for future success. Toronto might join them. That leaves Boston/NY to divvy up the division and wild card. If they sign Martinez, it's hard to imagine them not winning 85 games. But it sure would be nice to see them owning the guy through 2025. Even with Martinez, I'll take our lineup. Let's hope Cooperstown doesn't panic. If Boston caves in and gives Martinez seven years, that's what they'll have done. Let's hope.
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You forced me into Wikipedia with "priaspismic". I love that you inspire me to better my vocabulary but I really wish I hadn't looked that up. jeez. On the other hand, a few cases of penile gangrene might focus the Yankee FO on their hydraulics rather than trading away the farm.
It does make me shudder to think how many balls Martinez would hit out of Fenway against Gerrit Cole.
Meanwhile, in the great Yanks v. Soccer race, there were only a couple of wire service grafs in the Times today. ("Man City Back to Winning Ways"; "Tottenham 2, Swansea 0"—"Tottenham climbed to within 4 points of fourth-place Liverpool with a game still in hand.")
Exciting as that news is, though, I'm afraid it doesn't reach my previously established standard for an actual score. I am forced to call this a nil-nil result, which leaves Soccer with a 2-0 advantage over Yankees in 2018.
Everything else was swept from the Times' sports page by SEC football, Arizona's football coach being fired for sexual harassment, and an exciting new jump in men's figure skating, called "the quad."
The Yankees? Where do they play? What's their game?
No. Please, no. A pitcher. NOT the Toddfather.
The one thing to be said for the Toddfather: his signing might PRECLUDE trading the farm for a pitcher. And he'd likely play himself back on the bench by May.
In other words, T. Frazier could save C. Frazier. Or maybe I mean, who needs TV when we got T Rex?
.....AND PERHAPS SIGNING YU DARVISH COULD SAVE EVERYONE.
CLINT FRAZIER
CHANCE ADAMS
JUSTUS SHEFFIED
ALL SAVED.
MIGUEL ANDUJAR
GLEYBER TORRES
SAVED!
DARVISH WOULD MEAN NO MORE MONEY TO SPEND ON POSITION PLAYERS, WHICH MEANS, THE KIDS SHOULD BOTH GET THE NOD AT 3RD AND 2ND.
WISHFUL THINKING.
I know. I've thought about that, too, ALL-CAPS. But they seem to be waiting for Darvish's price to drop enough, and I can't see that happening.
We need to stand pat and do nothing. Cashman probably sucks at poker.
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