Monday, May 27, 2019

Reasons #543 to #545 to sign Dallas Keuchel... and other forms of altered communication

Continuing list of reasons to sign Keuchel...

543. See what he looks like without beard.

544. Bitcoins jingling too loudly in Hal's pockets.

545. Domingo German may have just splattered against wall...

Continuing signs of apocalypse... 


(BTW: Did any of you hear Suzyn call play-by-play to open the bottom of the fifth? The Master must have been out taking a pee. On the first pitch, Whit Merrifield lined out to Aaron Hicks, and Suzyn shouted, paraphrasing: A FLY BALL TO CENTER FIELD... AND... HE CATCHES IT.)  

Postscript to horror...

Finally, did John Sterling unveil a new secondary Gleyber Torres homer holler yesterday? After Torres homered, The Master gave the usual, "It's Gleyber Day" call, then added (which I had never heard before): "AND LIKE A GOOD GLEYBER, TORRES IS THERE."

This is the worst secondary homer holler since "You're on the Mark, Teixeira."  

34 comments:

ranger_lp said...

The secondary call has been there for quite some time....

KD said...

Is The Master supplementing his income by turning his homer hollers into thinly veiled commercial endorsements? I guess I couldn’t blame him if he is. He lost a lot in the apartment fire. Poor man. Working so hard into his dotage. Inhuman.

TheWinWarblist said...

Yes. Inhuman. Like a good Gleyber.

Vampifella said...

Signing Keuchel mid-season will probably go just as well as getting Clemens mid-season. A million a game for mediocre. Could get anyone for under a million for the entire year and achieve the same result. I'm surprised the Yanks hasn't plucked up a dozen pitchers off of scrap heap and tried them out.

Rufus T. Firefly said...

RE: KD's comment,

The Master has teenage children. Any extra income would certainly be welcome.

Anonymous said...

SORRY MR. DUQUE, RANGER IS RIGHT.

THE SECONDARY CALL ON GLEYBER HOMERS, HAS BEEN ONGOING SINCE LAST YEAR.

C'MON MR. DUQUE....YOU GOTTA LOVE THAT!

I LOVE WHEN THE MASTER BRINGS BACK THOSE 70'S , 80,S AND 90'S COMMERCIAL SLOGANS.

WE'RE OLD ENOUGH TO KNOW THEM ALL.

JM said...

Vampifella, there was one guy in particular. Gio something. A Hispanic name, I think. Started with G. We coulda given him a shot, but our roster was full. Or something.

Carl J. Weitz said...

I don't blame Sterling, at his age, in monetizing anything connected to the team. Go back over time and see how much they were low balling his salary. Even a half dozen years ago he was only making around 250K. Not insignificant income but he made listening to the team on the radio must-listen broadcasts. For that he got constantly short changed. And I wouldn't be surprised if that income included mandatory Yankeeography telecasts.

But one thing that aggravated me about yesterday's game (hey you can't win them all) was that in the tenth inning with Hamilton at second base and two outs. Not that anyone on this blog would ever second-guess Boone....but why didn't Boone just walk their best hitter instead of trying to pitch around him? Even Cone and Flaherty observed that they were trying to do that. Why not put up 4 fingers and wave him down to first base and set up a force at second and third base? I'm sure Jonathan "Can Never" Holder would have gotten the next batter.LOL.

HoraceClarke66 said...

Carl Weitz, you are correct, sir! I just wrote that on the previous post comments.

Merrifield is probably their best hitter, at least for whacking the single they need. Just send him to first. Holder is not good enough or sophisticated enough to pitch around him. Poorly managed, through and through.

HoraceClarke66 said...

And right you are, JM. I know, I know: Gonzalez wasn't exactly setting Scranton on fire.

But now we're down to what? Three starters, really. And 10 relievers. Who have to be used precisely the same way, every day. Except when we use one as an "opener."

I'll retire to Bedlam.

Beauregard Jackson Pickett Burnside said...

You haven’t been listening to many games. Suzyn has called more than a few pitches this year. Annnnd... the Gleyber bonus call has been there since the beginning, The only variation was when Gleyber was really beating up the Orioles, John added... It’s Gleyber Month.

Joe Formerlyof Brooklyn said...


The NYYs are in first place, winning more than losing. Fans should be happy.

What remains in the FRONT of our minds, however, are:

a. Boone is not much of a field manager. As demonstrated last night. They might have lost anyway, but there were moves to make that may not have even been considered -- changing pitchers, walking the guy, etc.

b. Cashman is the GM. Personnel decisions, trades, etc., are yet to be made. Boone may help out in some of these (heaven forfend!!!). I really do wonder what happens when Didi comes back . . . do they sit Ursh? Have the Major play 3 days a week only?

c. Applying the Ellsbury approach to GStanton might not work for 8 years. Or even the next few months. They signed Gardy to an $8 million contract; his 2nd-half record (over recent years) makes him the LEAST of the trade bait. Will they trade Frazier? Farm him out? What happens when Stanton comes back? Can he strike out less, be more productive.....play the outfield occasionally? I'm assuming here that Judge comes back and occupies one of the OF starting slots on a daily basis.

HoraceClarke66 said...

These are my nightmares, Joe FOB. Frazier for Bumgarner in July. Ugh!

HoraceClarke66 said...

And...once again, the Green as opener experiment craters. Had Will Myers at 0-2 and walked him. Terrific. This is a team with a .295 OBP, and Greenie is pitching as if utterly terrified.

Yeah, sure glad we didn't go all-out to win yesterday.

HoraceClarke66 said...

Another thing I hate about the contemporary game. Austin Hedges, a catcher batting .195 this year for the Padres, and .208 over his 4-year career, whacks a double off a pitcher with a 12.51 ERA going into the game (probably around 100 or so now) and goes into five minutes of triumphant paroxysms at second base, making various signs and faces at his dugout, etc.

Bobby Thomson didn't celebrate that much when he hit his home run.

Too cranky to watch anymore. So Boone's decision to give away one game to an awful team turns into a decision to give away two. I'm sure the capacity crowd at the Stadium will enjoy the Hedges show.

Beauregard Jackson Pickett Burnside said...

When Austin Hedges came up, John asked if anyone knew where Benson was. I could care less I the Yankees win, I just want more Grandpa jokes!

Ther s one more I forgot... Gleyber of the Month (not to b confused with Gleyber month which is also a thing)

TheWinWarblist said...

Gleyber of the Month Club.

Anonymous said...

"Domingo German may have just splattered against wall..." Small-sample hysteria rears its ugly and predictable head again.

The fact that Keuchel gave up the most hits of any pitcher in the AL last year, and more hits than innings pitched--well, those are LARGE SAMPLES, so we ignore those.

Anonymous said...

"Gleyber of the Month Club"--it's astonishing that someone thought that this inept misfire was worth the time needed to sit down at a computer and do the necessary typing and clicking.

Anal-a-mouse said...

Why someone with absolutely no sense of humor would want to contribute the this site makes no sense. Just like the asswipe that really needs to get laid by someone human other than itself.

Beauregard Jackson Pickett Burnside said...

Suzyn called a few more pitches today too. Then John came back and asked if she read his spot too. He thinks he’s got Scooter rights.

HoraceClarke66 said...

And hey, my bad: I didn't notice that they had already pulled Green when I tuned it to see the greatest moment of Austin Hedges' existence, judging by his reaction.

Again, I would ask, why not just start David Hale, who put in a decent four innings?

But—nothing succeeds like success! Way to keep bottom feeding!

Anonymous said...

Hey Psycho Anon and your assorted Psycho sock puppets--there's nothing funny about your stupidity. And there's nothing funny about HC66's and others' equally stupid fulminations against advanced analytics. You're a frustrated, ego-damaged droplet of scum who thrives on mock combats with strangers on the Internet. Get help.

Anonymous said...

HC66--instead of spitting up your oatmeal on the computer screen in the form of your anachronistic rants, why not read some books on the subject of baseball analytics and get back to us? YOU ARE A FUCKING MORON. Period. A disgrace. An embarrassment whose inane dribbling is responsible for alienating hundreds of potential smart participants.

Anonymous said...

Hey, Warplist--we know you're compulsively sock-puppeting. We know all about your fragile ego and your delusional self-portraiture. We know all about your witlessness and intellectual vacuity. We know you're a frustrated mediocrity. We know more than you think about you, with your anal delectations. . . .

JM said...

Ah, the smell of trolls in the evening. Or maybe the sewer backed up. Hard to tell the difference.

But we won, and it doesn't matter.

Anonymous said...

JM -- you seem determined to vindicate the judgments about your triteness, lack of originality, and overall stupidity--all your trademarks combined into the single use of the word "troll," beloved of brainless Internet airheads and flame addicts he world over. I think that if an original word or idea ever erupted in your skull, it wouild explode.

Now please go on to explain to us the glories of the sacrifice bunt in your patented sleepyhead prose.

Anal-a-mouse said...

"You and others like you drive away potential participants in this blog in droves. Just shut the fuck up already."

Anonymous said...

Why would Psycho anon adopt a nick that identifies him as an anus?

At least he's honest--give credit where it's due.

And, by the way--every time you post one of your psychotic spews of vitriol, Psycho Anus, I'm going to post at least twice in return to demonstrate the futility of your diseased obsession with me.

Anonymous said...

Hey Psycho Anus--have you every considerd psycho-ANAL-ysis?

Anonymous said...

Repeatedly I've seen posters flit through here with interesting analytics-driven comments, and they disappear just as fact because of the onslaught of philistine dross about the virtues of bunting, stealing, hit-and-run, etc., all definitively disproved by decades of statistical analysis by now.

That's why this blog remains a confederacy of dunces. If someone differs from the doltish party line, all he/she is likely to receive is a volley of ingrained stupidity and frat-house abuse in return.

Nice job, assholes! Especially asshole number one: Psycho Anus (sorry, Anus--you chose your own name).

Anonymous said...

TYPO

just as fast

HoraceClarke66 said...

Hey, anybody else notice that old friend Hetch-Hetchie now has 3 homers for the Metsies? Good to see him doing well, particularly as we don't seem to need him.

And not that it helped the Flushing team tonight. Weird, fun game, with an amazing performance by Bellinger, even when he was throwing to the wrong base.

The NBA used to have a "regional" draft to allow teams first crack at the local college superstar.

Anyway we can install a "parental" draft to get the progeny of guys who used to play for the Yankees?

John Keck said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.