Will virus end ban on Yankee facial hair? CDC guidelines that must be met before the Yankees can reopen

Have the Yankees really thought out plans to reopen the season? 

If so, we should soon hear word on the team's anti-hippie/lumberjack ban on facial follicles, which will be stressed by continuing summer codes of quarantine. I mean, to get his hair quaffed in NYC, Gerrit Cole will need to break the rules of social safety. It's time for the Death Star - (note: I mean the Yankees, not the Trump re-election campaign; what's up with that? How can they call themselves the "Death Star." We are the "Death Star." They can be the Romulans, or the Borgs, or the Gorns - I don't care - but not the "Death Star.") - to reconsider beards.  

I've done some digging into the CDC guidelines that were pitched overboard by the Trump "Death Star." Turns out, Dr. Anthony Fauci - (Yankee fan, by the way) - included a special section on his fave team. Some of the requirements that must be achieved before the Yankees can successfully reopen:

1. To start at shortstop, Gleyber Torres must play at least five consecutive games without an error.

2. Before being traded, outfielder Clint Frazier must be tested on a daily basis, at least 200 times. It's simple: He needs testing, testing, testing!

3. To avoid damaging outfield collisions, Aaron Hicks and Aaron Judge must always - especially when chasing flies into the gap - maintain social distance of at least six feet.

4. Team must show the ability to score via "contact" tracing hitting, rather than only with home runs.

5. Any Yankee pitcher who walks the lead-off batter shall be immediately tested for the virus - with butt swab.

6. To ensure his safety, Giancarlo Stanton will play outfield while hooked up to ventilator. 

7. Any Yankee batter who strikes out four times in a game shall face a mandatory 14-day quarantine in Trenton. 

8. Players to be instructed on how not to spit into masks.

9. Game recaps and stats to be reviewed next morning by Andrew Cuomo.

10. Because of risks involved, Old-Timers Day will include players who haven't yet retired.

Bonus Requirement: Cheating Astros and Redsocks shall play special seven-game series on Carnival Cruise liner full of senior citizens, who will also enjoy hog-slaughtering arts and crafts.