Monday, December 19, 2022

From here on, it's free agent table scraps, aka Brian Cashman's wheelhouse

Yesterday, LF Michael Brantley re-signed with our Houston torture-masters, and SS Dansby Swanson joined the ongoing Cubs' malaise. If you're scoring at home, no bigly OF free agents still roam the Yankee dream cloud, unless you believe Michael Conforto, who didn't play a down last year, still has a pulse.

From now on, the Pickens grow ever Slim, and minor league pacts become the norm. Over the years, the scrap heap has furnished many of Cooperstown Cashman's greatest victories: The nobodies who serve as valuable June-July lug nuts on the  Death Barge.

Last year, it brought us Matt Carpenter (not a nobody, but a guy toiling in the minors) and another season of Lucas Luetge. (You could say Jose Trevino also counts; who saw him as an all-star?)

The previous year: Nestor Cortez and - well - the first year of Lucas Luetge. 

Of course, for every Nasty Nestor, we get a Red Thunder and/or Miggy TwoBags, enigmas so wrapped in expectation that their nicknames become Yankee legend. (BTW, "Jackson" Frazier is a free agent... a leftfielder...  well? I mean... would we dare?)

Between now and Jan. 1, Yankee activities will slow to a stop. Hal Steinbrenner is probably already sipping mojitos and dreaming of soccer. But watch the wires. Chances are, the Yanks will sign somebody you never heard of - like the lost legion in the above list - and he will be the feelgood story of next May. For now, I'm going with Tanner Tully and Niurby ("Nasty Niurby?") Asigen. Pick your horses, everyone. Who will it be?

8 comments:

edb said...

Duque:
You got it right. It is the dumpster for Genius Cashman. He wants to show us how brilliant he is, by resurrecting broken or non existent careers. Joey Gallo and Kei Igawa. They mark the Geniuses career.

Doctor T said...

I hate to give the world's greatest intern any credit, but he's a better dumpster diver than day trader. When it comes to trading for players he values - like Gallo, Montas, etc. - he gets fleeced worse than an FTX customer on closing day. He massively overpays in terms of traded talent and the object of his desires never matches their previous mediocrity, never mind the superstardom only evident in Yankee press releases.

But when Cashman goes dumpster diving, he pulls out gems. Maybe they are second hand rags that return to greatness like Carpenter, or nobodies, like Gio, that blossom on the NYC stage. Perhaps they all benefit (including the intern) from exceeding diminished expectations.

Perhaps he picked up some dumpster diving secrets sleeping on the street for charity. Something to think about as the FA pool empties of talent and the remaining trade candidates stink worse than yesterday's fish. Happy Hanukkah everyone. Tell the Yankee front office to avoid Cashman's homemade gefilte fish at the seder.

13bit said...

The calls are either going to be “A FLYING BIRDY FOR NIURBY”

OR "AAAAASIGEN KOOOOONICHIWA..."

I have spoken,

Where is Winnie?

Doug K. said...

I'm going with Art Warren. I know nothing about him and didn't bother looking him up. He just sounds like a Yankee reliver.

"Art Warren up in the pen."

"Warren needs to get a DP here"

Just sayin'

ranger_lp said...

Where's the big move after Judge? Are we trading for Trout or Ohtani? Is that why we haven't gone after Conforto?

DickAllen said...


Yes, The Intern has managed to find a good suit or two at Goodwill over the years, but it's important to remember that every one of his "finds" has had a two-year expiration date.

They're second hand threads for a reason.

The Hammer of God said...

The sole remaining hope is that they'll trade Gleyber Torres for ... something. I hope they can land a young starting pitching prospect who turns out to be a keeper. But maybe they'll try to get a left fielder. You know Cashman will fuck it up somehow.

edb said...

You got it Duque. This is what the Genius does. Hal was a dope to resign the Genius.