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| The Yankee Triple Crown battle continues |
Crazy times, back in March. The House GOP was learning the joy of pissing on McCarthy, DeSantis was discovering the taste of his feet, and Hunter Biden! Hunter Biden! Hunter Biden! Now, here we are - as expected - with Carlos Rodon and Frankie Montas anchoring the rotation, Estevan Florial in CF and Oswald Peraza at 3B.
A can of tomatoes with a pitching staff of one, and an owner so clueless that he's commissioned an "outside auditor" to count paperclips and suggest changes.
Yes, it's the famous, old school "outside auditor" strategy of denying corporate incompetence. Pay some Harvard bean-counters to investigate what happened and - wait, oo-oo, jumpin' Jehovisat! I got a idea! A plan! That's what we need! Let's plan to come up with a plan!
Here's writer Bob Klapisch - the pride of Leonia, NJ - who has been covering the Yankees since 1983...
[T]he investigation will begin in early October, although interestingly, the company conducting the audit will not recommend personnel changes. The analysis will instead focus on process and how the Yankees compare to other clubs.
I can save the Yankees, YES, the Klap and the Yankiverse a shit-ton of time and money. Here are the audit's future findings.
1. Golly, after everything that happened, the Yankees just missed a wild card berth.
2. The front office performed valiantly in the face of bad luck.
3. If not for pesky injuries, the team would have won.
4. The real problem is people: They just don't appreciate how hard it is to reach the playoffs year after year.
5. Frankly, Yankee fans should thank the ownership for his devotion to the city. He could move to another town, where nobody would ever complain.
6. If the Yankees fired Brian Cashman, he'd be quickly snatched up by another franchise, which would be headed toward greatness.
7. Considering the Yankee youth movement, this team looks to be on a path to the 2024 world series.
8. The Yankees don't get out their message well enough. Particularly, the YES announcers and the radio voices - they just harp on about wins and losses. Let's ask these Negative Nellies to provide some good news for a change!
9. Aaron Boone is a national treasure. That HR he hit against Boston - show it more often.
10. (NOTE: THIS IS MOST IMPORTANT) The auditors have detected one voice within the Yankiverse who has consistently and correctly predicted problems. He writes for an obscure fan web site, and he calls himself "Alphonso." We don't know what he knows, but it is far above anything we can discern. Whoever he is, he should be snatched up and given an office at the Stadium, before Boston or Tampa gets him.
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14 comments:
E. D.
Allow me to say that this is by far the most telling, most detailed and most comprehensive, compelling, cohesive, coherent and concise collection of credibly crafted content ever commissioned.
This Saturday with forever be remembered as the Saturday that was uniquely unlike any of the other Saturdays that existed before and possibly will take place afterwards.
Three cheers and a chair for you Sir to sit down and take in the greatest of all this is and all that you do.
I sure sincerely hope and pray that this audacious audit’s findings are made available to each and everyone of us wanting to poke our Vermilinguas into so we can behold the absolution of truth, justice and the American way.
Thank you.
Time for some damn coffee!
AA, anteater? Vermilinguas? What?
Corporate fuckery and political chicanery...ah yes, I remember them well. This analysis will be heavy on the anal and light on the ysis. A classic non-solution to a problem that can be then presented to the world as the solution to a problem.
Process, my ass. The process involves making decisions, and it's the decisions, almost all of them, that have been so horribly, horribly lousy.
Glad I skipped the game last night. Nine runs in the first, Rodon is definitely improving. Why, in another 50 to 75 years, he'll be Cy Young material.
Oddly, he blew nobody a kiss afterwards. But I think there's a certain part of our anatomies that we all wish he would kiss.
Yes - JM - anteaters.
Proboscis was out of the question because for me it is too closely associated with Mr Deltoid's line from A Clockwork Orange.
Still not over last night’s Rod-done performance. It was the the worst pitching start in the history of the New York Yankees. His churlish attitude upon being pulled from the game added outrage to the shock of his piss poor performance. Afterwards, the walking BP machine said his mind “was not in the right place”. Apparently, Cashman’s mind was not in the right place when he signed this loutish pariah for SIX ( count ‘em, 6!) years.
Even though the comments from far and wide do not yet confirm...you got one thing right.
The ALPHONSO thing.
He does know . And his counsel and wisdom are worth gold in today's crypto world.
Praise Ju-JU and their Gods.
After watching Rodon last night, I can’t for next Ca$hman big signing!
If only you could predict baseball, we wouldn't be in this mess...let me run some numbers on this and get back to you...
2-2 what can you do?
https://www.mlbtraderumors.com/2023/09/yankees-activate-frankie-montas.html
Subtext: TRADE!!!
Yankees win…
NO BOONE ejaction!!!???!!! Hopefully there’ll be one more tomorrow. I want to see him rip off the home plate umpires ear with his teeth and choke it down with a few convulsive gulps. That may be the only circumstance that will guarantee that he won’t be back on the team next year!
AA,thinking is for the gloopy ones, what's needed is some inspiration. Hal needs some of the ol moloko plus.....
Free my Glazzies!
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