1. Would be their second stratospheric-priced DH.
2. Famously refuses to negotiate contracts in public.
3. Will not pitch in 2024.
4. Hates to be called the Japanese Babe Ruth.
5. Wants to reach a world series, (which, as we all know, the Death Barge hasn't done since Obama took office, Michael Jackson died, and Susan Boyle sang "I Dreamed a Dream.")
So... WTF? Has NYC's virginal innocence coaxed within Ohtani a Dickensonian change of heart? (That's a joke, by the way.) Or could the Yankees be playing a "2nd Place" strategy in the upcoming free agent scrum?
That is, finish second in every bidding - always soooo close - leaving their Gammonitic minions to assure the fan base that Hal Steinbrenner did his absolute best at flinging hot checks into the fiery pit. They'd be outbid for Ohtani. First-runner-up on Yamamoto. A finalist for Bellinger. They'll take home a participation trophy - Kevin Kiermaier? - for their bread mold exhibit in the science fair.
Fun Fact: I have no clue what Hal is thinking.
Ancillary Fact: Neither does anybody else, perhaps including Hal.
Whatever is happening - or not - our teen slumber party will soon be shattered by the cold reality of the winter's first big signing. From there, all Hell - or all Hal - will break loose.
Right now, though, if the Yanks have anything going for them, it's that they can sit out the Ohtani auction, because he truly doesn't fit their needs (which means nobody will take Giancarlo and his contract.) They can target free agents that actually make sense. (This ignores the ridiculous proposed deals for Juan Soto, which appear daily across the Yankiverse.)
At some point, a pebble will loosen and tumble. The mountain will crack, and the volcano will blow. It might happen next month. It might happen next week. All we can do is wait. And maybe talk to Ohtani.
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Just got off the phone with Hal.
It was a surprisingly direct and personal conversation.
Here’s a transcript of the call:
Hal:
“This is Hal”
Me:
“Hal - its Above Average”
Hal:
“I disagree.”
And he hung up.
I’m still trying to take it all in.
Wait, they made a musical out of Les Miserables? When did that happen?
Was it Susan Boyle or Popeye Doyle who sang that number? My memory is slipping.
I see two possible offseason scenarios: 1) We do nothing (not really that bad of an idea--it's not like we're going to be a remarkably different team one way or the other), or 2) We do nothing good, as Cashman does the voodoo that he do so well, which means terribly.
Given his need to do things just to show he's in charge and can do things (otherwise known as "I'm shaking the bush, boss!"), I'm thinking number two, which is a good description of the job Cashman usually does.
As always, a big “NO” to Ohtani. I wouldn’t worry though, if he wanted to be here he’d be here already.
rfUNNER-UP BECAUSE THIS IS WHAT tHE gENIUS DOES. hE IS ALSO READIN OVER "tHE bOOK oF eXCUSES." "wE TRIED
RUNNER-UP because this is what The Genius does. He is also rereading "The Book Of Excuses." We tried, but we could not get ______________." Instead, he will bring in a Jake Bauers protype.
"all Hal will break loose"
It's been there, just sitting there, for years. But no one picked it up, not that I've seen, until el duque.
Gotta tip your cap.
The latest rumor on the internet is the Yankees trading The Martian for Alex Bregman.
https://www.si.com/mlb/yankees/news/new-york-yankees-linked-alex-bregman-blockbuster-trade-rumors-matt9
Wow, what a beautifully written article:
"New York could also use a little outfield depth, too."
And then we learn this:
"Fortunately, there is a trade partner out there that can offer both, if the Yankees are willing to participate in a rather complicated four-team trade proposed by MLB.com recently."
So, there's not even a pretense that this is a trade that is actually being bandied about, it's just been created by an internet site.
The deal would have the Yanks in a 4-way trade with Houston, Baltimore, and the ChiSox. Our boys would surrender The Martian, and get Alex Bergman and OF Jake Meyers from the Astros, plus pitcher Jared Shuster from Chicago.
This genius describes Meyers as "an above-average defensive outfielder," which seems to be true, but he's a below-average hitter, batting .227 last year and driving in 33 runs in 112 games. Lifetime, he's a .235 hitter—and he's now 27.
Shuster is 24, not a big prospect, and pitched his first season in the majors last year in Atlanta, where he was 4-3, 5.81. He was just dealt to the White Sox.
Bregman is one of the AL's leading third basemen, but he hit all of .262 last year and .259 in 2022, and has never got back to his pre-Covid power levels. Plus, he'll be 30 next month. But hey, the writer actually tells us:
"His right-handed swing would be a great fit at Yankee Stadium."
Yeah. I don't think even Cashman would be this stupid.
He could surprise you, HC double six six.
I will be totally amazed if they actually go even half all-inn
Ok - I'll address the elephant in the room - WHAT IF CASHMAN SIGNS BARTOLO COLON?
You are 100% correct Horace on all counts. Except one. Cashman CAN be that stupid. IS that stupid.
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