What can we say, beyond that when the game ended, no one feigned surprise. This was Destiny, 100-proof, a preordained outcome that followed every pitch, every pop fly. To bastardize a ditty from John Irving...
Whether you're early
Or whether you're late,
It's all the same to Fate.
Part was poor baserunning. Part was bad hitting. Part was the closing lineup of Joneses and Trammels, and six pitchers - an unsustainable drain on elbows and cuffs, which led to the Yankee debut of newly shaven Michael Harvey Tonkin, 34, the Doomsday horseman, signaling the outcome that lurked all night.
Honestly, where do you start, beyond the instinctive certainty that the Yankees would lose, even with a lead in the 10th. Too many dark omens, too many blown ops, too many missing links to the team's near past, all manifested in the presence of Tonkin, a statistical doppelganger (according to Baseball Reference) to the following elbow belchers:
Ryan Dull
Carter Capps
Oliver Drake
Bill Burwell
Okay, look...
I don't mean to disparage Tonkin, who is feeding his family, and who actually might have thrown scoreless innings, if not for those pesky ghost runners. But his presence last night showcased the sorry state of the Yankee pitching staff - a group that is officially fried. We've moved past the Poteets and Burdis - long ago visited the moments when Scott Proctor would have burned his clothes at home plate - and we're now in the land of daily waiver wire pickups, scouring the landfills for usable parts. We have reached August Distress levels, and it's not even May 1.
The Yankees remain in second place, percentage points behind Baltimore, with a 5-5 record over their last 10 games. Today, there is no way in Hell to predict who will be pitching the late innings, except that he probably wore a Railriders jersey this week. Mike Axisa says this could be the toughest road trip all season. And we're already out of pitchers.
April is coming to an end. My only friend, the end...
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35 comments:
I just assumed they would lose and went to sleep at a reasonable hour. Glad I missed the inevitable debacle!
The sad truth is that we have heard this story every year for the past, oh I don’t know - pick a number.
The sadder truth is that this story usually gets written in August.
I know we are doomed because I’m spending way too much time reading all the glowing reports of the Jets latest draft picks who are sure to transform the team.
I did the same as Steve. When it got to 5-5, I figured they were going to lose and got some shuteye.
One point--how are we past Poteet and Warren? Last I looked, they were pitching in Scranton. When we desperately need them up here, so we don't have to use the castoffs in any kind of key situation.
Who's making these decisions? And why do they still possess gainful employment?
You know who's making those decisions JM. The same dolt who's always been making them.
And I'll say it again! The same dolt who's always making those decisions. With full permission and encouragement from Chief Nepo Dolt.
Ugh. There's a reason why monarchies are bad ideas, and HAL is a clear example...
Actually, Duque, the Yanks are now 5-7 in their last 12 games—and miraculously, still tied for first place. That won't last.
We're one-sixth of the way through the season now, and let's turn a spotlight on my favorite whipping boy...Gleyber Torres! The Gleyber is hitting .192, has an OPS of .495 (worse than any starter than Austin Wells, who has one more plate appearance than Jose Trevino), and has 0 home runs, 2 ribbies, and 30 Ks.
That's right: he has FIFTEEN TIMES AS MANY STRIKEOUTS AS RBI—worse even than he managed during his two-year meltdown in 2020-2021.
This is like watching a 20-car pileup in slow motion.
It could be a lot worse.
We could all have been somewhere in Iowa or Nebraska.
It could also have been a lot better.
Those aforementioned DOLTS could have been there . . .
DreeeEeeeeeEeeeam
Dream Dream Dream Dream
DreeeEeeeeeEeeeam
Cash?
Yes, fan?
I want to kill you
Boonie?
I want to kill you too
Beware of the BOONE, it creeps
And leaps and glides and slides
Across the floor
Right through the door
And all around the wall
A splotch, a blotch
Be careful of the BOONE
Letting the days go by (same as it ever was, same as it ever was)
Letting the days go by (same as it ever was, same as it ever was)
Once in a lifetime, let the water hold me down
Letting the days go by, water flowing underground
Same as it ever was
Anthony Santana and Michael Tonkin. Met's former crap brought to Yankees fans by Genius Cashman.
I turned last night's game off when Judge struck out. Watched a recorded NCI-S Hawaii. The morgue scenes are more uplifting than the 2024 Yankees.
We should send HAL and the intern each one of those robot dogs with the flamethrowers. They are so incompetent, they'd probably burn themselves to death. Then we could *really* throw a party with John Sterling.
First order of business, make him interim manager for a day.
Cashole constructed the “super pen” remember? Doesn’t it look that way?!? Honestly, I think Cash watched too much of the LLWS this summer and thought they only play 6 innings in MLB, just like the kids...
Not to worry, Yankee Director of Sports Medicine and Rehabilitation, a renowned expert in Galenian medicine, is already on the case! He has prescribed extensive leaching for Judge's bad toe, arsenic supplements for Torre's unbalanced humors and is currently examining pig entrails to diagnose DJ's lingering foot ailments. Amputation to follow, if all else fails.
Brian reassures us that the Yankees have the best medical experts.
Shout out to Publius for the Doors parody. Works beautifully.
This is a concerning lead.
Jogginson Torres doubled his RBI total?
What next? Cat's sleeping with dogs?
Golly!
He whom the gods would destroy, they first make mad...
What in tarnation is happening?
The POWER of JOHN compels you!
Even a blind nut finds a squirrel once in a while
Fifteen tah Won
(Even money our bullpen will give up 15 runs in the bottom of the inning)
It’s batting practice for the Yankees…
Who kicked the field goal?
I hope his toe isn't injured. I hear that is going around.
And Giancarlo not so buono adds to the lead with his usual meaningless garbage time homer. The Exit Velo King. How quickly can we show him the door?
A Trevino grows on a mound
Trevino should be our new Closer
OK maybe not - 14 runs to go
13 now
Yankees win…
Good thing it wasn’t a close game. This super bullpen couldn’t hold a 14-run lead
OUR NEW CLOSER !!!
That was a colassal ass handing.
Even our position-player pitcher was better!
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