Thank you, Stang, thank you SO MUCH for calling Oakland a "tomato can." Are you happy now?

So... ya live yer miserable, filthy life under the crapola delusion that maybe - just maybe - if you keep to your principles, if you strive in your teachings, if you forsake your own peace of mind and focus on troweling out knowledge to the next generation, that maybe - just maybe - the kids, the youngsters, will maybe absorb 00.001 percent of what ya said, ya know? 

Well, apparently, 30 years of teaching the FUNDAMENTAL RULES OF JUJU didn't amount to a hill of squat, as the Yankees today got shutout, shortly after Stang - our Stang - took it upon himself to label Oakland "a tomato can."

Happy now, Stang? Did you get the giggles out your system? Have you taken pride in ruining the Yankees' Passover?

Listen, Oakland might be a tomato can, I'll grant you... but YOU DON'T GO CALLING ANYBODY "A TOMATO CAN" BEFORE THE GAME, UNDERSTAND? YOU CALL THEM THAT AFTER THE GAME, AFTER WE PRESUMABLY HAVE WON. 

PEOPLE, HAVE WE FORGOTTEN THE BASICS OF JUJU? IT'S NOT THAT YOU CAN'T PREDICT BASEBALL, SUZYN, IT'S JUST THAT YOU CAN'T PREDICT ANYTHING GOOD TO HAPPEN, BECAUSE AS SOON AS YOU DO, IT WON'T HAPPEN.

I CAN ASSURE YOU THAT OUR ENEMIES ARE USING JUJU, AND THEY'RE DOING IT THE RIGHT WAY.  THE YANKEES HAVE BEEN SHUT OUT FOUR TIMES THIS SEASON, TWICE IN THE LAST THREE GAMES, AND HERE WE ARE, RUNNING AROUND GLASSY-EYED, SHOUTING AT OUR OPPONENTS "TOMATO CAN! TOMATO CAN! TOMATO CAN!" 

HEY STANG, YOU WANNA KNOW WHO'S THE TOMATO CAN? 

WE ARE THE TOMATO CAN! THAT'S RIGHT, US. AND A TOMATO CAN SHOULDN'T CALL ANOTHER TOMATO CAN A TOMATO CAN? 

AND DON'T GIVE ME ANY IFS OR BUTS. IF IFS OR BUTS WERE CANDY AND NUTS, EVERYDAY WOULD BE CHRISTMAS. 

Jeeze H...