Saturday, November 2, 2024

Extra. Extra. Read all about it: The Dodgers' secret, surgical scouting report on Yankee weaknesses

This ultra-secret dossier - obtained at considerable expense by IT IS HIGH from overseas operatives - noted the following "golden shower" of Yankee weaknesses, to be exploited in the upcoming series. The agents scouts suggested that the Dodgers...

1. Concentrate on hitting lazy flies to CF Aaron Judge. They should be in front of him, well within range, and aimed directly at his glove. Try to hit the pocket.

2. Contrary to general wisdom, men on 2nd base should run to 3rd on a grounder to SS. Anthony Volpe can throw to 1st, 2nd and home. Throwing to 3rd, he is Chuck Knoblauch.

3. Hit slow, easy grounders to 1B, especially with runners on base. This "sweet spot" will baffle Anthony Rizzo and Gerrit Cole, who have no idea how to deal with such balls. 

4. Batters should stand deeper in the box to gain catcher interferences. 

5. Runners on 1st should attempt to draw three pickoff attempts. Important: The third attempt will be lobbed.  

6. Dodger pitchers don't need to throw strikes. Instead, pitches should be outside and in the dirt. Don't worry. Yankees will swing at them.

7. Only use Dodger pitchers who have had lousy seasons. The more disappointing, the better. 

8. Instruct right fielders not to chase fouls near the stands. They might lose a hand. 

20 comments:

ranger_lp said...

This part is telling...

"They were thrilled at how short Yankee leads were at first base to potentially be less of a threat on pivots at second, where Gavin Lux does not excel. They said their metrics had the Yankees as the worst positioned outfield. They were amazed how many times relay throws came skittering through the infield with no one taking charge and how often Jazz Chisholm Jr., for example, was out of place or just standing still when a play was in action. “

Their metrics....are you fucking kidding me? After the overhaul of said department!

JM said...

Yanks picked up Weaver's option for 2025. The first decent news of the offseason.

Publius said...

The small lead thing demands explanation.

Publius said...

That seems like some super secret "inefficiency" discovered and "exploited" by Cashman's nerds, who pass it along to the coaches for organization-wide distribution. Superficially clever, disastrous in application.

The Hammer of God said...

9. Opposing Pitchers' Scouting Report: Always walk the bases loaded, with nobody out. The Yankees will fail to score in every such inning. Doing so 9 times guarantees a shutout. All your team has to do is to score at least one run and that's a win.

The Hammer of God said...

I just remembered this last night. There was a play early this year with Verdugo at the plate. It was 9th inning or maybe extra innings. And they had men on first and third, with only out, I believe. I think the Yankees were losing by one run. Verdugo hit a dribbler to the first baseman, who throws home. Running to first, Verdugo turns and looks at the play at home. The runner coming from third base is TAGGED out. The catcher throws back to first, and Verdugo is thrown out. Double play to end the game.

And I remember we all said we'd never seen such stupid base running before. Contrast that with Mookie Betts running hard to beat the absent minded Rizzo and Cole at first base.

And that is why Cashman will re-sign Verdugo. Because he likes inexplicably stupid base running. It prevents winning. So this year, once again, HAL got his wish: they "competed" but did not win a championship. Cashman will get a big raise next time his contract renews.

Pocono Steve said...

Rizzo's option declined. Nobody keeps the Rizz!

The Hammer of God said...

A Yankee fan writing on the L.A. Times (courtesy of yahoo): https://www.yahoo.com/sports/losing-actually-better-winning-am-171938119.html

He says that losing is better than winning (in a way). In other words, the chase is better than the catch.

Like when a highway patrol cop is chasing down one of those "runners". A loser who won't stop because he doesn't want that speeding ticket. After a 100 mile, 130 mph chase, the perpetrator slams into a minivan with a mother and three kids, killing the innocent victims. Of course, the perp survives and is hauled off in handcuffs. The chase is better than the catch.

Hinkey Haines said...

Ralph Nader on X:

The Yankees' collapse in last night’s 5th game of the World Series was a long time coming. The Yankees have been mismanaged or poorly managed since their last World Series in 2009. Loaded with money, they make the wrong choices in buying athletes from other teams. They’ve weakened seriously their farm system and the owner, Steinbrenner, is not that ambitious for a winning team because he’s still making a lot of profit.

Yankee General Manager Brian Cashman and Yankee team manager Aaron Boone are relentless losers. Yankee fans should demand their replacement. The only thing going up at Yankee stadium are the prices, not the World Series wins.

Which one of you is Ralph?

Kevin said...

Cole opts out...........................................................................

AboveAverage said...

perhaps he can refund the team about 80 million to help sign Soto with

Pocono Steve said...

Should he be called an opt-outer or an opter out?

BTR999 said...

Rizzo can still re-sign with the team after the buy out. This could simply be a de facto pay cut by the team. There are few true FA 1B options left, an aging Christian Walker being the best. Or, let Rice/Rumfeld battle it out, with the corpse of DJLM as a fallback.

I’m inclined to let Cole try the FA market even though it would hurt us in the short term. But he’ll turn 35 next year and extending him would tie us to him when he turns 39, at which point we are setting fire to the money.

Meanwhile, SPOTRAC, which has been pretty accurate in estimating contracts ( pre-Ohtani, anyway, estimates 14 YEARS, $647,090,402 for Soto.

Your move, steinly…

BTR999 said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
BTR999 said...

Hammer, did you wake up screaming?

The thing is, Analytics downplays baserunning, especially SB’s.

BTR999 said...

Please don’t see this as an endorsement to bring back Rizzo. At this point he is unable to hit, run, or field. I’d like to at least give Rumfeld a chance, he was a minor league gold glover.

13bit said...

Cole? I don't know. According to MLB Trade Rumors, they have till Sunday to decide whether to basically pay him$180 million for the next five years or lose him to someone else. I'm not sure that's such a great deal at this point and at his age. On another note, the Brewers declined the option on Dirty Sanchez.

HoraceClarke66 said...

Rizzo should be gone. Period. I guess they have to bring back Cole, as they have no other outstanding starters.

Yes, Rumfield on first. Put Chisholm on second, and let Gleyber walk. Let Flopsie Vertigo walk. Let The Oswaldi battle it out for third. SIGN SOTO. I guarantee, they will be no worse than they were this year, and probably better.

AboveAverage said...

Would it be ok if they sign me too? I’d like to be signed by the team

13bit said...

This comment said NO SOTO, NO PEACE!