"Down in Kokomo..."

 

I have to head up to Massachusetts for a few days, but I just thought I’d leave you this bit of song stealing to sum up our off-season. To the tune of the Beach Boys’ “Kokomo”:

 

Juan Soto

A no-go

He’s rushing off to Flushing

Sasaki, named Roki

He’s another “No, ’kay?”

Kyle Tucker

No luck there,

He would cost some money

Oh, honey

It’s all goin’ to go

To Hal in Kokomo.

 

Paul Goldschmidt

He’s OLD!  Shit!

Alex Bregman?

The dregs, man

And he’s not coming.

Arenado?

A shadow 

Of what he used to be, man

But still not for us, damn!

Every cent’s got to go

To Hal in Kokomo!

 

Burnes

We yearns

To see him pitch here

Alonso, the P. Bear

We won’t see him near here.

Need a closer?

Not Tanner

’Cause he ain’t scot free.

Marcus Stroman

A roamin’ 

To bring us Brooks Raley

(Oh, really?)

No, it’s gotta flow

To Hal in Kokomo

 

Cashie,

Talks trashie

But he thinks like Lassie

Boonie,

A loony

Bringin’ in that Nestor

That Series

Will fester

But not with Randy

And Lon—no trostie

With whom we are all lostie,

All loved by Hal

Down in Kokomo.

 

Holes at second

And third

And there is no catcher

Volpe just can’t mature

We need more pitching

Less bitching

About the Benjamins, Hal.

But we know

Where you want it go

Down to your yacht…

In Kokomo…

And you, like that. Thanks, Brian Wilson