Reject last night's outcome as "fake sports," fire the scorekeeper, and simply claim first place in the AL East.
Fill stadiums with troops from the National Guard, slap 50-percent tariffs on games vs Toronto, and demand to see the papers of every opposing batter, as he steps to the plate: If he hits a home run, send him and his family to Alligator Alcatraz. Replace Dave & Suzyn with Vlad Putin & Laura Loomer, and gaslight the hell out of every broadcast. And give Aaron Boone the measles.
Of course, it won't work. We suffer from more than the rising price of beef. The bottom of our order doesn't hit, and our bullpen is an unpinned grenade.
Somewhere, in the unwritten rule book of human behavior, it says that you cannot trot out five pitchers per night without at least one crapping the bed. Last night, it was Yerry de los Santos - a generally decent lug nut - who gave up three runs, killing the vibes of a tiresome, dismal, rain-soaked, nothing burger. Amazon Prime should demand its money back. If last night were a package, I'd return it.
Beyond the loss, the Death Barge had a chance to sweep a team they've owned - at least, until last night. Who cannot sense that, along with a game in the measly wild card race, they just relinquished whatever mastery they once held over Minnesota, a young team that seemed to start backpedaling as soon as they reached the Bronx - a team that now realizes that the mighty Yankees are made of butter. Next month, we'll play three games in Minnesota. This time, the Twins won't be quaking in their cleats.
Every night, we watch the Yankees systematically surrender a winnable game. It's amazing to think that, barely two months ago, they were challenging for the best record in baseball. What followed is one of the worst stretches in modern Yankee history. And it's time to start labeling it as such.
People: This is not a cold spell. This is the '25 Yankees.
Posts
23 comments:
This is not a good team. In fact, it's only half a team. Going nowhere.
Kind of like the Mets.
Best record cannot survive the worst manager.
Or even the wurst manager.
Aura and Mystique
Are definitely long dead.
Yankees blow Schilling.
There are some very knowlegable posters on this site and I would love it if you could give me your thoughts
You own the Yankees and have full control of all aspects of the team at every level
What would your moves be
I mean reasonable achievable ones not fantasy of spending a billion dollars on payroll
I am reluctant to put down my thoughts incase you laugh as I am still learning about baseball and dont want to appear foolish or ill infomed
But here goes
Sack Boone and Cashman ( guess everyone would do this)
Total root and branch changing of every single part of the organisation from strength and conditioning and nutrition to playing side
Emphisis on the lower levels of the minor league in baseball fundementals baserunning bunting advancing runners cut off men all fielding basically and hitting and pitching to contact and throwing away of what seems to me the seems like obession of launch angles and exit velocity in hitting and spin rates and speed of pitches
Looking to entice away scouts and coaches of teams who seem every year to draft and develop players better than we do and this is teams who do not draft early Im thinking the Carninals and Braves here
Regarding free agents and current players nobody gets more than a 4 year deal unless it has a optout for the team no more long term bloated contratcs to players in their 30's
Probably a lot of rubbish but I would really like to here your expert and informed ideas of what you could realistically do
Not that I like them, but long term contracts are sometimes necessary and those times can be justified (by management, not me) by averaging the contract over the "effective" years of the players contract. Unfortunately, the Yankees are slow to jettison players when their contract outlives their effectiveness.
Otherwise, spot on.
Everything begins and ends with replacing the easygoing Boone with a firebrand, and then replacing wonky Cashman with a baseball man, a la Tony LaRussa. Next winter, all spending should be on pitching, pitching, pitching, and whatever trades can be made, they would involve shedding oldsters for young arms. And here's the real change: The Yankees would spend 2026 in a rebuilding phase, not expecting to make the playoffs. That would mean going with The Martian, Spencer Jones, Ben Rice and maybe George Lombard Jr. Full throttle on youth, even if it means missing the playoffs.
1) MYGA - Yeah. Sigh.
Although you mentioned it in jest there might come a day when a person in power places a large bet and then sends ICE into a locker room to "chill" the opponent out.
Rome's leadership owned charioteers and gladiators and were not above fixing contests.
The UFC seems particularly vulnerable to shenanigans.
2) SYF - All really good ideas with the exception of the FA one.
A team has to pay the market rate in years. Unless they collude and they've tried to do that in the past.
A player/agent is going to go for the most guaranteed money. Extra years means extra money all else being equal. The Yankees could offer more money per year but they run into the luxury tax. Plus Hal is Hal. So no.
3) Winnie
"Best record cannot survive the worst manager."
This is so true that it should be taught in schools.
It's application goes way beyond the ballfield as we are all collectively finding out.
A Thirteen-Bit Thursday Haiku
"marvelous"
"rewarding"
"well writ"
"spontaneous"
"inspirational"
Cashman, Hal, and Boone
Back from the dead, the Boss says,
"Air-Fry those Bastards!"
Scotty, your idea of hiring coaches, scouts, player development people is spot on. We can add trainers, medical personnel to that list. Even if we have to over pay, it’s pennies on the dollar compared to some of the foolish contracts we hand it. That should be the linchpin of a sea change in the entire organization, with a true emphasis of winning the World Series. But it must begin with the termination of the old guard, reducing analytics to a mere information/advisory role, and a new culture dedicated only to WINNING. And it goes without saying, the end of boone and cashman
Even doing all that, they could still make the playoffs.
Add one other item to your list SYF: dismantle the Strat-O-Matic analyst group.
Wasn't it Mark Twain who said, "The coldest spell in baseball occurred in a summer in the Bronx"?
Don't forget to fire the analytical staff.
If the kids are pretty good, that's true.
AA speaks the truth.
Hal and Putin are comrades.
The rich make the rules.
MYGA - Make Yankees Great Again
WANG - We Are Not Gods
YANG - Yankees Are No Good
DLMY - Daddy Left Me Yankees
YAGA - Yankees Are Great Already
SABA - Sox Are Bigger Assholes
DONG - Dipshit Ohtani Needs Gold
FANG - Fuck All Nepo geldings
OK, I could go on, and this is the most important thing I’m going to do all day, but I must walk the dog and possibly find some pizza to stuff into my sorry face.
I've channeled a response from Hal.:
1 - change the schedule to 162 away games. We can then avoid the costs of staffing the Stadium. And I won't ever have to go to the Bronx again!
2 - this also gets rid of all of the pain-in-the-ass fans. No more complaints! We can still sell the merchandise, and even trademark some hot dogs.
3 - the team can practice on off days in the Sheep Meadow.
4 - since the fans of every one of our opponents enjoys it when they are beating the crap out of the Yankees, we don't have to worry about fielding a "representative" team. We can shrink the payroll down to $2.375 million. Yes, MILLION, not billion!
5 - with 162 away games, we can fatten up various TV contracts. Perhaps put 40 or 80 of them on pay-per-view.
6 -- won't matter if Boone is the manager or the towel boy runs things. And I don't care. We can get someone cheaper.
7 -- Mamdani, Cuomo, and Adams are in the race for mayor. Two of them will lose (at least). We can hire the losers as our coaches at first and third base. Won't have to pay them much, if anything at all. The people in the rest of the country seem to really hate Mamdani, and probably don't feel good about Cuomo, either. More booing of them on the road = more money!
8 -- need to trade away all of the overachieving young people, and get a bunch more Ellsbury and DJL types. These guys will appreciate being allowed to play anywhere -- and with no home games, they'll avoid the boo-birds.
9 -- I can defray the costs of 162 games on the road by buying a small airline. Our team will, of course, have to travel coach. We'll hire cheap novice young pilots. If we can get a crash out of one of them, my insurance will pay off to the sky!
10 -- Obviously, I'll cancel any broadcasting contract that sends signals to Scotland.
Thanks everyone
I just thought 40 million a year for 5 years is better than 8 year 200 million even with the luxury tax hit you dont have an ageing player stinking up the team
I thought agents would go for it as well the player becomes a free agent again and more comission for them
It is. But that implies that the player can get 40M per year.
Think of it more like I'll give you 20 for 5 =100M vs. someone else saying
20 for 7 =140M. Take the guaranteed $$ . Injury proof.
Also, and perhaps most importantly, most players don't hit free agency until their late twenties/early thirties so it's their last shot at big money. There is no big second contract.
is your face sorry before or after the pizza?
asking for my friend's mama, Celeste
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