In recent weeks, the Supreme Legion of Keyboard Coaches - (know-it-all Yank fans) - have suggested that Anthony Volpe win a free weekend in Scranton, where he can ingest magic mushrooms, find a good $5 hooker, and recalibrate his aura with the astral universe.
Right now, Volpe's head needs a Triple A ream-out, a week without Jack Curry, and 20 swings against International League pitching.
Aside from Curry and his Jell-O-infused hair, this week's series against the Nats and White Sox could be considered as a de facto trip to Toledo. With constant leads of six to eight runs, Volpe should have been able to relax, stream the Hallmark Channel, and watch the leaves change color.
Take last night, for example: With his team scoring 10 runs against the Tank Sox, Volpe contributed two hits, likely keeping his BA above .200 for the Labor Day weekend.
But but BUT... he booted another grounder, his 18th error of the season, most in baseball - and, let's face it:
Every bouncer to SS has become a YES-Mo adventure, lasting an eternity, long enough for Volpe to think about what is happening. And that's a troubling development for any infielder.
And no matter how bad Chicago looks, this is not Triple A.
In fact, the stakes continue to rise against patsies, as these are games the Yankees MUST win, because - sadly - they cannot beat the good teams.
On that note, I hereby call upon the Yankees to temporarily halt the Anthony Volpe Rescue and Salvage Operation and launch a new experiment, framed around one question:
Can Jose "The Gay" Caballero play everyday SS?
As a utility OF and late-inning sub, Caballero looks ducky. The other night, he stole 2B fine in a ridiculous hop, skip and jump, as the pitcher (our own former project, Clayton Beeter) didn't bother to look at him. It was crazy.
But can Caballero play SS for a contending team?
The Yankees better find out soon. The playoffs are no time for experiments. Next week, the hapless Chisox turn into the team of cheatin' Jose Altuve, the Yankee Babadook. Then comes Toronto, the most pivotal weekend of 2025. Over three days, we can become legitimate contenders - or fall out of the wild card.
We've gone three years with Volpe - enough time to know what we've got. It's time to ponder how the Yankees look with someone else. Chicago is a perfect place to start. Tonight is the perfect time.
(Final note: The Death Barge won last night without help from our RF muse Giancarlo Stanton. The G-Man went 0-4 - his second 0-4 this entire month - (he does not have an 0-5 this year.) At RAB, Mike says it's the hottest streak of Stanton's career, even including when he was known as "Mike." He has 17 HRs in 167 at-bats. The problem: Nobody stays this hot forever. It will soon be up to Aaron Judge.)
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12 comments:
According to the Athletic, they are aghast at the very idea of sending Volpe down. Guess it only took two hits..
Aghast.
For the remainder of the season, every time a ball is hit to Volpe at “the” stadium, the noise crew should play a carefully composed rising tension suspense sound effect that ends with either an exaggerated sigh of relief or a WAH-WAH-WAH, depending of course on whether or not he makes an error or not.
I’ll leave it up to lesser minds than ours here to decide which outcome triggers which ending….
“ It will soon be up to Aaron Judge”…scary thought given how pathetic his AB’s are now.
I still believe the team will make the playoffs. The last 2 weeks of the schedule seem absurdly easy. I also believe they will make a quick exit from the playoffs, cashman will declare the season a success, next year the same thing…The grift goes on.
To be fair, it was Boone--of course--who was completely aghast at the idea of sending Volpe down to Scranton. But I figure he's only following orders, so, you know.
For those of you who are following along in your hymnal, Stanton's contract runs through 2027. Judge's runs through 2032.
Stock up on your favorite hard liquor. It's going to be a long slog.
WAH WAH WAHHHHH
Is the $5 hooker disease free? Asking for a friend.
Runnin’
Stolen base totals
2025 102 (through 127 games)
2024: 88
2023: 100
2022: 102
2021: 63
2020: 27 (60-game season)
2019: 55
2018: 63
2017: 90
2016: 72
2015: 63
You know what’s going to happen to Volpe: they’ll keep trotting him out there for another year or two and then trade him for international draft pool money. It’s the Yankees way.
Right after they’re eliminated in the first round, the Yankees will announce that Judge needs TJ surgery and will be back sometime at the end of next year.
BTW, did anyone suggest to ditch the torpedo bat? It's caused his average to torpedo...down...
that would be what I expect also. it's pretty clear he's got a big problem with his arm.
I don't want to sound optimistic, but the teams ahead of us have played played our cupcakes earlier in the year. We're not as good as we seem right now, but neither are any teams ahead of us in the AL. And the NL doesn't have any slump.proof team either. Our bullpen will soon be stocked with all the positives that are implied, the hitting can, on paper go with any team. And yes, they seem to always choke up when faced with good pitching, but look around. That's true across baseball. Starting pitching, IF they are healthy should be good enough. But defense, they have the athletic ability. But man their ability to concentrate under pressure, over time. The way that the game speeds up on them playing defense and running the bases. Can they hold up? Can Judge's elbow heal and hold up? Of course if I was a Dodgers fan I'd be worried too, so...
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