Friday, February 13, 2026

Cam Schlittler is hurt, and the Yankees say, "Don't worry?" Yeah. Right.

Move on. Nothing to see here. Nothing to worry about. Keep going. Do not stop. REPEATING: MOVE ON. NOTHING TO SEE HERE... 

In the movies, that's how it begins: The Zombie Apocalypse. One guy bites another. That makes two, then four, then eight, then a million. 

That's also how the Yankeocalypse happens. A Jonathan Loaisiga bites Clayton Beeter, who nibbles on Luis Gil, and - kaboom - the Zombie King himself, Giancarlo Stanton, shows up to feast.  

The opening of spring training begets the first wave of injuries. When it's Scott Effross, we ignore it. When it's Gerrit Cole, we feel dizzy. 

Yesterday, the Yankees announced that their Greatest Hope for 2026 - Cam Schlittler, has a barking back and lateral, and he'll take some time off, presumably to watch TV or tour the Dali Museum. Immediately, the team activated its Pooh-Pooh Machine, turning on gaslights from NYC to the Gulf of - um - America? 

They claim our concern should be Zero. 

Move on. Nothing to see here...

Listen, Cam Schlittler is why Yank fans haven't been rioting in the streets. All winter, whenever the team passed on a free agent, we were mollified by the notion that Schlittler, our looming young star, would save the rotation. Nobody inspires more hope. Last year, he arrived July 9 and went 4-3 (a 2.96 ERA) in 14 starts. He shut out Boston over eight innings in the Wild Card series, then pitched into the 7th, allowing just two earned runs, against Toronto in the Division Series. On Feb. 5, he turned 25.

Now, they say he'll "skip a few bullpens?" 

In other words, they'll shut him down and hope the problem goes away. 

Along with a tour of our medical tent, the opening of Camp Tampa is always time to acknowledge the glaring reality of the upcoming season. The 2026 Yankees are a hand grenade with the pin half-pulled. If it doesn't go off, if everybody stays healthy, they might make it until Gerrit Cole, Carlos Rodon and Clarke Schmidt return. And if the grenade blows, well, it's Cade Winquest, up from the Rule 5 draft. 

One day in, one man down. "Don't worry," they say. Move on...     

15 comments:

13bit said...

This season is another Groundhog Day. It's just Chinatown, Jake. Say it ain't so, Shane. We'll always have Paris. When I'm here, I want to be in the jungle, when I'm in the jungle, I want to be here. We're off to see the Wizard.

HoraceClarke66 said...

Great collection of movie lines, bitty. But you forgot one, from Apocalypse Now: "The horror. The horror."

HoraceClarke66 said...

Yet another inexplicable bit of incompetence from the Cashman Yankees: in a baseball world where players now routinely work out all year long, how can it be that they are not continuously monitored, so that they do not overdo—or (is this a word?)—underdo during the off-season?

Ah, well. I always had the feeling that Schlittler's name was going to prevent him from being great in the first place.

AboveAverage said...

In the Bronx, no one can hear you scream

Carl J. Weitz said...

To quote Dr. Zachary Smith....." Oh, the pain, THE pain!"

Let's hope that it's just an early spring training muscle overuse event.

Rufus T. Firefly said...

I always like to hear that as delivered by Elmer Fudd.

Rufus T. Firefly said...

We'll always have Paris ends with round up the usual suspects. How fitting.

edb said...

Duque, doing the same thing and expecting different results...INSANITY1

Rufus T. Firefly said...

https://youtu.be/NuAKnbIr6TE?si=fwIccUIMahMVgLfu

The Hammer of God said...

Schlittler clarified the injury news: it's the LEFT lat, not his throwing side. So probably not as bad as it being on the throwing side, but still, that can affect a pitcher's mechanics just the same. After all, it counts as a core muscle that is used as a pivot on your throws.

I wonder how he did it. Got to be bent over dumbbell rows, right? Do they help you throw harder? Must have done too much, too soon, too explosive. I don't even do bent over rows. Maybe I should, but I don't. I only do deadlifts, barbell hack squats (the mirror opposite of a deadlift), and bench presses. The only one I do explosively is the bench pressing. Oh, I was doing shoulder dumbbell work for a while, but shut it down when I was getting a bit of bilateral elbow soreness. Of course, I tailor my weight training to boxing, whilst Schlittler is tailoring to throwing.

The Hammer of God said...

I don't think they should be doing all year workouts. Even Arnold Schwarzenegger didn't do everything, all the time, all year long. You have to take at least a few weeks, maybe even a few months here or there for down time or to rotate your training (cross-training). Instead of doing barbell bench presses, for example, for a few months, you do pushups. This helps reduce the wear and tear from doing repetitive stuff that lead to joint injuries.

ranger_lp said...

@Hammer...who are you punching out?

AboveAverage said...

Hammer, and all this time I thought that you were tailoring your weight training to blogging here.

The Hammer of God said...

ranger: Inner demons that are always afflicting me!

AA: It helps! Which reminds me that I've got to put up an article here, a lazy Yankee fans guide to fitness kind of thing. We gotta get in shape for the rigors of the upcoming Yankee season. Which will sorely test our collective sanities, I'm sure.

The Hammer of God said...

Courtesy Judas Priest "Touch of Evil":

In the night, come to me
You know I want your touch of evil
In the night, please, set me free
I can't resist a touch of evil

YOU'RE POSSESSING ME!!!