The next few weeks will be filled with articles and interviews designed to give fans hope, expectation, and an understanding of how the team and the players are doing.
To help interpret the above, here is a glossary of common terms and their actual meaning.
--
For Pitchers
Tweak
Out 6-8 Weeks.
Soreness
Tommy John.
"Shut Down For a Few Days"
Arm Cancer.
“Working on a new pitch”
Can’t get batters out with old pitch.
Or,
Justifying roster space for player released by worst team in
league who somehow magically will be a vital bullpen piece.
"Throwing off flat ground"
Arm Cancer
"Headed back to NY for a second opinion."
You know what.
--
For Hitters
Tweaks
A tweak for a batter means they can’t hit a certain pitch but... by moving up/back/closer/further to/from the plate or changing their swing path... they will still not be able to hit that pitch.
"Built for the short porch at Yankee Stadium."
“Learning to go the other way”
Caught in Downtown Tampa soliciting male prostitute.
General Phrases
"No one works as hard as this guy."
Not very good. We know it. He knows it. They play him
anyway.
"Great working with the young kids'
Taking the place on the roster of one of those young kids.
"Learning a new position"
"We're paying him anyway. We might as well try this."
"Could find his way onto the team as the 26th man."
In Scranton.
"He’s here to get a taste of the big leagues."
He was caught coming out of one of Tampa’s strip clubs.
"Potential Future All Star"
Will be traded for middle relief in July.
"It's all in front of us"
Because it sure as hell isn't behind us. Last year sucked.
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