Saturday, February 28, 2026

Spencer Jones and the Martian are wreaking hell upon hope

All right, everybody... let's indulge ourselves for one spectacular moment.

What if... WHAT IF... Spencer Jones and Jasson Dominguez just keep hitting? 

I mean, what if they go on monstrous spring tears, as they have done thus far. What happens then? Huh? WHAT THEN? 

Right now, Jones is tied for the Grapefruit League HR lead - (Fun fact: He's tied with T.J. Rumfeld, whom our front office recently traded for Angel Chivilli, and the forever Yankee-cursed Mike Yastrzemski.) Jones has three HRs in four games, with four strikeouts and two walks. He's 3 for 8, hitting .375.

Then there is the Martian, who went 3 for 3 yesterday, lifting his batting average to .417 in the tiny sample size.

Okay... we know this won't last. It's freakin' February. They've barely played a week. They're facing the dregs of MLB pitchers, and none of this matters. There is no reason to clutch the lucky washcloth and get hopeful, because nothing matters, and even if it did, this won't last.

But but BUT... what if it does? What if the pair, having put in their times at Triple A, having reached the zenith of their youth, are simply ready for prime time? Huh? 

What if they keep hitting? Huh? Huh? HUH?

Well, I'll tell you... 

If the Martian and Mr. Jones go on wild hot streaks, it will simply amplify their demoralization and depressions, when their bus arrives March 23 in the Scranton Greyhound station, and they unload their napsack, full of their moms' clippings from THE GRIT, and hitchhike to the two-room hovel they rented in Wilkes Barre - all because the Mother Ship Yankees are stuck in a time-and- space detention center, like the one to soon spring up outside your town. It won't matter that they proved themselves. They will be exiled to central Pennsylvania so the Yankees can keep Randal Grichuk or whatever new veteran pops up on the waiver wire over the next three weeks. 

They are the saddest prospects in baseball - youngsters who prove themselves, only to be discarded by a franchise that makes no place for them. And whatever excitement they generate this spring, it will merely make their absence, come April, harder to ignore. 

The Yankees are the same team as last year. How thrilling.

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