Yankees catcher Austin Wells says that his wretched 2026 season at the plate—as opposed to his merely awful seasons at the plate in 2023, 2024, and 2025—may have been caused by multiple foul tips to the head. His condition only improved (marginally) after treatment, and switching to a "bulkier...hockey-style mask."
Figures high in the Yankees' front office, who wished to remain anonymous, put the blame for Wells' injuries squarely where it belonged: on Aaron Judge.
"Actually, Wells wanted to go on the IL and switch to the bulkier mask much earlier than he did," one such source, who insisted that he be identified only as "LT," insisted. "Boone, Brian Cashman, all of us wanted Austin to get looked over. But Aaron Judge kept goading, taunting him into playing."
Some sources went even further.
"There is serious evidence that Aaron Judge actually inflicted those multiple blows to Austin's head," claimed another individual, who demanded that he be referred to only as "RL." "I heard from someone who knows someone who should know someone that there is video evidence somewhere of Judge actually sneaking into the trainers' room while Wells was napping, and hitting him with Jazz Chisholm's baseball bat."
Asked why Judge would possibly do such a thing, "RL" merely shrugged.
"Who knows why Judge does what he does? The man is capable of anything. Remember when he concussed Anthony Rizzo, but kept making Rizzo play everyday? We didn't want to go along with it, but Judge is a big, big guy, and he will stop at nothing. I understand that he has access to a tactical nuclear device."
"It was completely irrational," confirmed another Yankees higher-up known only as "BC." "Not only did Judge disable Wells, but then he physically prevented us from acquiring a great catcher to replace him. I had a deal all lined up to get Hunter Goodman from Colorado, in exchange for two Dominican Summer League pitchers and $50 in ShopRite coupons. All I had to do was call the Rockies' GM back. But Aaron Judge pulled out my telephone, stood in front of my office door and would not let me out until it was too late."
To penalize Judge for his general savagery regarding Wells, the Yankees' front office said it would do nothing, save to continue to berate him in sleazy newspapers and on sports radio.
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1 comment:
Which player is Aaron Judge again, Hoss ?
I've begun to lose track over this off season and could benefit from a reminder, please.
Thank you in advance for both your assistance and, understanding.
Time to get ready for my trip to the dentist.
There are actually paid employees there that use tools to work inside your mouth (well my mouth, or "one's mouth") to clean, inspect and repair teeth!
Frankly, I'm always impressed each and every time I go there.
Although I do have to confess that my Dentist is no Dr. Zizmor . . .
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