Goose on the Loose

Spring is coming, so esteemed Yankee great Goose "Rich" Gossage is shooting from the lip again. This time, he's taking a shot at the team's great GM, C-Money himself.

"With power ... you turn into a f--king a--hole. Is that it?"

"If he had any balls, he'd do what he wants to do," Gossage said of Yankees General Manager Brian Cashman. "He doesn't think he needs any baseball people around. Maybe he's right. The way the game is being run today, maybe you don't."

"He would've been gone 10 years ago if George was still around," Gossage said. "He'd have been gone when he jumped out of that f--king airplane. Do you think he’s a good f--king baseball guy, really? He doesn’t believe in f--king coaching."

In 2017, Gossage ripped legendary Yankees closer Mariano Rivera and their current closer, Aroldis Chapman, for being one-inning pitchers, in an interview with NJ Advance Media's Randy Miller.

"It's totally different, so don't even compare me here," Gossage said. "Chapman's great. [Rivera] was great ... for one inning."

We love the Goose and don't completely disagree with him but it is what it is, as a wise man once said. And Cash is king.

Buried lede

Among ink-stained wretches and media types, "buried the lede" (spelled just like that) means the most important part of the story was usually discovered deep in the text and not within the first paragraph ("graf" in journalese), the headline ("hed") or in the beginning of the story (the "lede"). Lesson over.

Amid all the headlines and stories about the Yankee players signed to new contracts to avoid arbitration, we (meaning me, myself and I) believe one of the best things is that C-Money managed to put a deal together with back-up catcher extraordinaire Austin Romine, usually noted at the end of an article on the subject.

Sure we're pleased they held onto Bettances, Sir Didi et al and we loooove Gary Sanchez but we always breathe a little easier when Romine is kneeling behind the plate ...  or standing at the dish with a Louisville Slugger. Either way, the guy's money, so YAY!

Double Your Pleasure?

The Posts' Ken Davidoff, obviously fighting off the doldrums of winter, posits that the Houston Astrogliders are becoming clones of the small-market redsocks. And to make his case, Ken mentions the guys our fearless GM Cashman is pursuing.

Weak tea, Kenny; mysterious are the ways of C-Money. And clearly unfathomable to a mere Post baseball bloviator.

Done deal. One year at $10 million

CC? Si, Si!

He's back!

Still gets to sleep in his New Jersey mansion.

FDA: Nick Johnson Made At Troubled McNeil Plant, Yankees Will Participate In Voluntary Recall

Yankees In Talks To Bolster Pen, Sign London 2012 Olympics Mascots

Wenlock and Mandeville will be introduced tomorrow.

Why Joe Did Not Go

With a $200 million payroll, a new $1.5 billion stadium despoiled by conspicuously empty seats, anxious, impatient management and fans thirsting for victory after a postseason-less 2008 campaign, and a 15-17 record, 6-1/2 games behind the division leaders five agonizing weeks into the season, a 22-4 loss to Cleveland throbbing in the collective franchise consciousness, how did Joe Girardi avoid joining Bucky, Stump and Gene on the scrapheap of failed Yankee managers, and survive to lead the Yankees to their 27th World Championship, driven by Jeep, thereby ascending to the third position of all-time Yankee heroes named Joe?

IT IS HIGH has researched this important question and presents the Top Ten (actually twelve) reasons why Joe Did Not Go.

1) "Joe Heart Derek" was already carved into the big mahogany desk in the manager's office.

2) Joe babysat A-Rod's kids and they "really liked him."

3) Joe possessed compromising video of the Steinbrenner brothers from the 2008 Yankee clambake.

4) Joe's godfather made Cashman "an offer he couldn't refuse."

5) Yankee team doctor concerned that Suzyn's frail pschye couldn't handle the change.

6) First choice as replacement, Billy Martin, confirmed still to be dead.

7) Second replacement choice, Gary Burghoff, caught up in surprise success of new TV sitcom "My Name is F*cking Earl, What's It To You?", based on the career of retired Oriole manager Earl Weaver, was unavailable.

8) Third choice Buck Martinez admitted to being "fried on baseball" and ready to audition for role as sidekick on the new TBS show, "Lopez Tonight".

9) Cashman was rebuffed by fourth choice Lou Piniella, who proclaimed, "No way, man. The Cubs are going all the way this year."

10) Looking to establish his own executive management style, Hank decried midseason managerial changes as being "so eighties."

11) Cashman recounted "Brian's Dream" to the Boss, a showstopping number in which he conveys the objection of George's mom to the proposed managerial change, as revealed to him during a dream.

12) Joe was already a great manager; the team was great; it was just a matter of time before they put it all together and rolled to a championship. Anyone who couldn't see that doesn't deserve to work for "It Is High."

Cashman, Like Palin, Doesn’t Understand Cap and Trade Scheme

He is worried about the impact on the impending Halladay move and future trades with the Pirates organization.

More topics from Brian Cashman, Motivational Speaker

"Negotiating Strategies For Today's Business World: Why I Should Have Killed Scott Boras When I Had the Chance."

"Working in a Family Business: Knowing Which Brother Runs the Show and Which One is a Loudmouth Pinhead Who Just Thinks He Does."

"The Three Keys to Any Company's Long-Term Success: Hard Work, Attention to Detail, and a Half-Billion Dollars to Buy Players With."

"Kimberly Jones: Yeah, I'd Bang Her."

"Dealing With Difficult Employees: Why I Should Have Killed Carl Pavano When I Had the Chance."

"Michael Kay: Just How Big IS His Head?"

"Working With the Sexiest Person in America: A Behind-The-Scenes Look at What 'Stick' Michael is Really Like."

"Sidney Ponson: What a Lard-Ass!"

"Bad Decisions, Troubled Assets and Buyer's Remorse in Business: Why I Should Have Killed Alex Rodriguez When I Had the Chance."

Happy Hanukkah!

Best wishes from your pals, Brian Cashman and Theo Epstein.

(And remember: only goyim pay retail!)

Cashman back!

Upbeat about 2009. Confident that it will begin on January 1. Everything else is questionable.

The Thing in Our Clubhouse Closet

There's something unsettling in Yankeeland this year.

Sure it's early. Sure there's time for the pitchers to pitch better, the hitters to hit better, the fans to buy more at the concessions, but ...

There's somebody, out there, watching Brian Cashman's every move...

Someone watching Johan Santana's name in the boxscores after Mets games ...

Someone asking, should we have stayed with our youth movement, or gone for the quick buzz ...

Someone's lurking, waiting in the shadows every time Morgan Ensberg practices playing first base in a real game...

Someone in the shadows, who signs checks and decides the fates of baseball general managers ...

Who could it be?

It's ...

It's ...

It's ... probably nothing.

Which Yankee reported to camp in the best shape?

Brain Cashman.

Ooops. Typed it wrong. Brian Cashman.

Ca-No Mas Winter Ball, Robinson

There will be one less Eastern Star in the infield tonight.

A contract's a contract, Cash said.

In other Yankee news, somebody says the Bronx Bombers will win it all in '08 with Mr. Torre gone.

Yanks planning Igawa Fate

Note: We agree that this is in poor taste. But $50 million for a mediocre, Double A middle innings reliever is also rather sour.

Where have you gone, Hideki Irabu?
Our nation turns its lonely eyes to you...

WANG, ZHANG, LIU: AND A PENNANT, TOO

Brian Cashman is the Sam Walton of GMs.

Walton stocked his Wal-Mart stores with cheap goods from Red China. Recently Cash flew to that walled-in nation, donned the pajamas, ate whatever they put in front of him, nodded like he understood, and brought back a brand-new bargain-basement battery: pitcher Kai Liu and catcher Zhenwang Zhang.

How good are they? Doesn't matter.

We got the Red Chinese before the Red Sox.

Bring 'em back, Brian. From Red China. From North Korea. From Laos. From Vietnam. From Cuba. Bring 'em back alive to...

The People's Republic Of The Bronx!