Scummy Ex-redsock Hurler Strikes Again

That he's a skeevy, reprehensible excuse of a human being is incontrovertible.

Everyone is entitled to their political beliefs. God bless America!

But this creep, aside from his questionable World Series injury, has pushed a variety of wacky wingnut propaganda points.

Now, he's questioning the authenticity of the Parkland (Fla.) massacre.

Have you no sense of decency, sir, at long last? Have you left no sense of decency?

Two Ads, One Homer

I've barely posted at all this year, because I don't believe the Yankee High Command intends to do anything meaningful to help the team's chances until 2018. That's too depressing to harp on, even for this site. Forget I said anything. I'm not even here to talk about that. I just need to get a few things off my chest.

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In the seventh inning of Wednesday's loss, Chase Headley homered with no one on base, improving the score to TOR 7 - NYY 2. John pronounced this the Ballantine Blast of the Game. Then he remembered (or someone reminded him) that solo homers are sponsored by some company with Solo in the name. So they got mentioned, too, giving one home run two sponsors. I bet even Babe Ruth never hit one of those. The next batter, Didi Gregorius, also homered, but John had run out of advertising tie-ins. Didi's dinger turned out to be that rare Yankee feat with no commercial value.

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This notification arrived on my screens last night:

If you would like to know what Curt Schilling has to say about Hiroshima, and if your desire for this knowledge is sincere and without irony, please stay far the fuck away from me forever. Thank you.

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Meanwhile, in the cooling shadow of the Cathedral of Baseball, Bronx Youth Group Wants Nearby Slaughterhouse to Move.

Passersby face puddles of animal blood on the sidewalk, harsh odors from animal feces, exposure to improperly disposed chicken carcasses and at times direct contact with improperly enclosed livestock...

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I missed this, and maybe you did, too: on May 10, former Yankee and current Nippon-Ham Fighter Brandon Laird won a year's supply of beer when he homered off a Kirin Brewery sign in the left field seats of the Tokyo Dome:

Rivalometer

PAPI: Boston's a "shithole!" 

SCHILL: "I'm tapped out!" 

God Damn It, We Have To Be Nice To Javy Vasquez Now

Because Ketchup Curt Schilling's all up on him.

Who told Schilling to run for senate?

Some clueless old man!

Tom Peyer Not 'Shocked' By Schilling Asshole News

Christ, we're going to be asked to pay attention to this creep for the rest of our lives. Because he blogs.

Solution: break up the internet. It would be so worth it.

Goodbye, Curt!

Good luck with that hysterectomy.

Curt Schilling selling his shack

The Real Estalker has the low-down on Curt Schilling selling his Massachusetts Mansion, complete with heated ce-ment pond and tennis courts that convert to a hockey rink.

Schilling reportedly bought the dump from Drew Bledsoe for $4.5 mil four years ago. Today, he and the missus are asking $8 mill for the 25.99 acre spread, which has six full and two half bathrooms.

Gawk away!

Shocking allegations to be made in Canseco's next book

The concluding chapter in his trilogy will offer some stunners...

1. Derek Jeter once remarked, "Fiddledee-dee! Why should I care about poor people!"
2. A-Rod’s computer password is "Jessica."
3. Curt Schilling keeps dirty paperback novels in his locker.
4. Roger Clemens wife owns a coat made from Dalmatian puppies.
5. Randy Johnson once asked him for directions to the street where his steroids dealer lives.
6. Gary Sheffield often asks guys what lottery number they intend to play – then he plays it himself!
7. Cal Ripken takes CDs from the local library, rips them and makes copies without paying.
8. Behind his back, Manny Ramirez calls David Ortiz "Big Fatty."
9. Once, at a pool party, Tom Glavine claimed the water was "perfect," when in fact, it was really cold.
10. Johnny Damon is a snitch. You can't trust him with a secret.

Redsocks SHOCKER!

Boston tried to void Curt Schilling's 2008 contract.

The horror!

Curt Schilling Can Eat Phil Hughes

Word arrives through our new pal Yankees Muse that PHIL HUGHES IS BLOGGING!!! Scoops: he apparently wants to be called Phil, not Phillip!! And he likes the Chargers over the Pats and the Giants over the Packers!! This is even bigger news than Edwar Ramirez' MySpace page, which I'm starting to believe isn't really my 'friend' Edwar's at all...

Ketchup Schilling Needs an MRI

Well, well, well... What might they find in Mr. Republican's $10 million dollar right wing...

A squeeze bottle?

WHEN WILL BASEBALL INVESTIGATE THE "BLOOD" ON KETCHUP SCHILLING'S "HALL OF FAME" SOCK?

Why hasn't it been tested for DNA?

HOW LONG ARE WE TO BELIEVE THAT BLOOD FLOWS UPHILL?

Don't take metal into the MRI machine, Ketchup. Might cut yourself. Nobody wants that to happen, least of all your pal, Mr. Heinz.

Former Senator Mitchell: Expand Your Steroids Inquiry into the Gravitational Flow of "Blood"

Certainly, the anti-gravitational tendencies of "blood" are well known. Everybody has watched blood from an open wound flow upwards. Right? We've cut our feet and seen the blood rise up, up, up our leg.

Well, we hope Former Senator George Mitchell, during his inqury into Major League Baseball's use of steroids, respectfully calls upon America's Leading Truth Expert in the field of Advanced Anti-Gravity Technology, Dr. Curtis "Ketchup" Schilling.

We believe Ketchup can amplify the heartfelt comments he made while testifying before Congress on March 16, 2005, when the Scientist announced:

"In 19 years in the big leagues, I have never seen a syringe."

We believe him, of course. Ketchup comes in squeeze bottles, not syringes.

Ketchup (aka: 'Catsup') also told the Congressional investigators that day, on the matter of changing the rules of the game:

"If there are loopholes ... we will close them."

Well, well, well... Was Ketchup suggesting a Band-aid approach? BECAUSE HE CERTAINLY DIDN'T CLOSE LOOPHOLES ON HIS "WOUND," DID HE? OR WAS HE MERELY APPLYING A HEALTHY DOES OF HEINZ 57 FIRST-AID CREAM?

CALL HIM, MR. MITCHELL. CALL KETCHUP TO YOUR PROBE, AND GRILL HIM LIKE THE DOG HE IS.

YOU'RE GOING TO CALL GIAMBI. CALL A RED SOCK, TOO.

OTHERWISE, WE KNOW WHICH SIDE YOU'RE ON.

Ketchup Schilling: What does this man squirt into his shoes? Hunts, Heinz or Youth Restoration Juice?

P:S:
BIG GAME TONIGHT!