Sunday, December 14, 2008

Is Melvin Croussett the Second Coming of Mariano or the First Coming of Melvin Crousett?

In our continuing efforts to bring you the most insufferingly detailed analysis of obscure Yankee prospects in the furthermost reaches of the globe...


Melvin Crousett... prospect, or paperorplastic?


You decide.


He turns 19 on December 28. He is 6'1", 168 pounds, of the Edwar Ramirez genome, but he's a lefty.


Last year he pitched in the Dominican Summer League, where photography is banned as a foreign substance. We'd signed him two years ago at age 17 -- old, considering the pedophiliac tendencies of MLB franchises when it comes to cute Latino boys. Perhaps his parents refused to let him sign at 16, the usual exploitation age, or maybe he's a late bloomer, like Mike Cameron.


Last year, Melvin pitched in 17 games. He threw 28 innings and struck out... fortyfuckingseven batters. Yes, practically every time the skinny mutharfukkur went out for an inning, he struck out two guys.


Last year, he gave up two runs. Two (2) runs. His ERA was 0.64. With runners in scoring position, his ERA was 0.00. Yep. Oh, point oh-fucking-oh.


I remember Mariano's numbers in the Gulf Coast League, zeros across the board. It's a long journey between Crousett and Rivera.

You heard it here first... Melvin Crousett, the Santo Domingo Flame-ingo.

9 comments:

Anonymous said...

This, from the same source who brought us pre-teen tales of Jackson Melian, Hensley Muelens and that 5 tool prospect who stole Jeter's glove?

I have so much confidence in the Yankee's consistent ability to develop top prospects to replace those few Hall-of-Famers still
active ( Mariano, Derek, Jorge, etc ) that I am swimming with delight at the news of Melvin.

MLB hasn't had a Hall-Of_Fame level prospect named Melvin, since Mel Ott...and he wasn't a Yankee.

We, of course, had Mel Hall....

Anonymous said...

Jorge is not a hof'er.

I remember the search for the next Donny. Kinda troubling we havent seen many the next Jeter prospects.

I refuse to get excited about rookie league numbers. How hard does this kid throw? And what does he throw?

Anonymous said...

Anonymous,

I'm tired of your shit. You accuse us of being negative. Well, get on board with Mel-C. Otherwise, when he's a big star, your good name isn't going to be worth anything.

BTW, no clue on what he throws. Might be Mel Hell Jr. Might be Colter Beanery. Go with it. Don't ask questions. The Crousant is coming.

Anonymous said...

Im merely attempting to protect my reputation as a rational and detached baseball analyst.

Secretly I am already picking out Melvin (El Capitan) Croussett's entrance music.

Thinking of going with God Only Knows by the Beach Boys. What do you got so far?

Anonymous said...

I like "God Only Knows" for Melvin's entrance music, but I'd probably go with "Help Me Rhonda."

Anonymous said...

Wait a second. She-Fan, how do I know you're not Anonymous? And Anonymous... how do I know you're not She-Fan. Or Melvin Crousett himself?

I would play "Your body is a wonderland," but hey, that's me.

Anonymous said...

"And Anonymous... how do I know you're not She-Fan."

If I were you Id start with spelling then move on to grammar and sentence structure and go from there.

Anonymous said...

That's exactly what She-Fan would do to remain anonymous. Blogging women are master of disguise.

Anonymous said...

He'd be the 2nd HOF Yankee named Mel. Anyone recall ... Mr. Allen?

How a-bout that!!