Yankeetorial: Don't Go Crazy Yet, Because Somebody's Going to Wind up With Halladay

Hooray. We bagged C.C, we're still at the buffet, and money still works.

Obviously, our first impulse is to buy a bag of Spanish fly and and head to Amsterdam before the brothels ban four-on-ones.

But wait.

In this holiday season of economic despair, one four-kleenex song from the John Tesh Radio Show bears unto us twice-per-hour an insightful Yuletide message. In "The Christmas Shoes," a young, trailer home-schooled Michael Bolton seeks a pair of insulated Timberland boots (size 12) so his mama can be proudly buried in them, clomping up the golden stairs to see Jesus.

Well, we folks just bought the most expensive pair of Christmas shoes at the mall. But check out this semi-coherent transitional metaphor:


There are other shoes to drop.

Let's go the videotape: The time is Nov. 27, 2000. The Yankiverse is celebrating joy to the world in the form of Mike Mussina, the most coveted free agent on the market, whom we just coverted to Yankianity. We foresee a new dynasty. Three weeks later, Dec. 19, the Redsocks sign Manny Ramirez.

(Insert feeling of Timberland boot kick-in-the-groin here.)

The Redsocks are coming to bat. All those reports about Anaheim keeping Mark Teixiera? Forgetaboutit. Boston will not sit back, and he apparently loves the East. Moreover, they have a farm system that still seems to be everything ours is not. (Except for hype. Ours has a much stronger system of hype.)

Once Boston get Teixiera, the Blue Jays buy a bag of Spanish fly and head to Amsterdam. They are hurting for money. Between the Yanks, Redsocks and Tampa, they are doomed. (Seriously, baseball should consider moving them to the AL Central; they have no hope.) They will dump players. They will trade the best pitcher in baseball... Roy Halladay.

They're not going to take Robbie Cano for him.

Moreover, after we've signed one of the Burnett-Sheets-Lowe trio, plus Andy, we have no place at the table for Halladay. Or Jake Peavy, who is also fated to be traded.

Don't get me wrong. We did what we had to do. No complaints, here. But as we have seen in recent playoffs, a five-run first inning against the Redsocks means nothing... even with CC Sabathia on the mound.

They're sitting back, cards to their chest. They won't wait for long. They need shoes for their mama.