Tuesday, January 13, 2009

Bush v. Youkilis: Who ducks better?

Obviously, George W. Bush does.

Look how he's leaning. He's ready to duck left, which worked last time.

Thus, if you were trying to hit him with a loafer, you'd need to throw at a 4 o'clock angle, figuring that he's going to move leftward, right into the path. If you throw 50 mph at where his left bicep is now, you would get him in the nose.

Unless he goes right. In fact, he might go right because last time he moved left, and he would know you're going to throw to his left, so he would go right. In fact, the bend of his legs might make him more able to spring in a rightward direction. So you would want to throw at the 9 o'clock angle, figuring for the extra two feet he has to move to get his head behind the podium.

Or, let's face it: If you're sliding into second base, and you think you can beat the throw, you go directly into the bag. You don't use the hook slide. In which case, he's going to go left...

Unless they've rigged him to a trap door, which would automatically drop him out of shoe range if an unidentified foot apparel object were to appear on the radar. In which case, your only shot would be to throw directly at the head, Kevin Youkilis style, and hope to have command of your Tom McCann.

Are we clear on this, White House press corps?

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Larry King just asked Dubbya if he would consider becoming Commissioner of Baseball after Selig retires.

Ill just let you all enjoy that for a while.