Tuesday, January 13, 2009

Yankeetorial: Let Joba Keep the Face Thing

Unique visitors to this blog know how we like to view "hippies:"
Through the scope of a bolt-handle Remington 788.


But darnitoll, this wild, crazy world is changing faster than Bush's excuses, and we wonder, as did the late Johnny Cash, "Can you blame the voice of youth for asking, 'What is truth?'"

Nope. Way we sees it, shit be gotta changin.

Consider the neck dingleberry sported by Joba Chamberlain recently (pictured with bodyguard.) Under current Yankiverse bylaws, Article II, Section a, Paragraph 12: "Yankee uniformed talent may not grow or paste-on beards, soul patches, Fu Manchus, pushbrooms, creepy pubic pencil thingys like John Waters wears, and tits." (Frankly, we back the tit ban; the clubhouse doesn't need that kind of diversion.)

But we're entering the Age of Obama, a four-year period destined to be remembered for peace, prosperity and good will. And that means embracing the shit that gotta be changin.


We respectfully ask Hal and Hank, Cash and Stick, John and Suzyn, Randy and the old man, to end the Yankiverse ban on face-fur and elevate this franchise into the new "cave face" millenium.

LET OUR PEOPLE GROW.

(Maybe a few will grow a pair of stones.)

5 comments:

The Rashblog said...

Now, see I thought the "Let our people grow" mantra had more to do with not trading away our farm system.

Anonymous said...

Ah, I say keep Yankee tradition alive. The Yankees are already hated enough, no reason to be as ugly as the Red Sox.

Anonymous said...

Joba needs a better looking girlfriend.

Anonymous said...

Do you shave your legs?

'Nuff said.

Anonymous said...

I'm with Rob. Let George's vision of a facially hairless world stand for all eternity.