Saturday, January 17, 2009

Yankeetorial: The great city of New York has spoken wisely, and our Steakhouse has been saved

Yesterday, The People spoke.

Once again, the doubters, tiddlywinkers and sayers-of-nay were hauled out to the woodshed and paddled furiously with the rolled-up Playboy magazines of fear that they attempted to use on the good fans of America.

The New York City fathers passed a $370 million kidney stone of public financing that will allow the Yankees to do right by the beleagured butt-cheeks of luxury suite-owners, those unsung moneysmiths who bat cleanup in the team's financial order.

The New York (YOUR FRONT PAGE AD HERE) Times reports it.

Buried in the verbslide, three "grafs" from the "-30-," is this ka-ching nugget of truth.

(Randy Levine, Yankee president) said that since the team was using payments in lieu of taxes, or Pilots, to build the stadium, it was willing to bear any extra costs. With the additional bonds, the Yankees’ Pilots will be between $70 million and $76 million annually.

The Yankees will deduct those costs, plus about $30 million in stadium maintenance, from the revenue it is required to share with other major league teams.

Yeeesssssssssssss! Do the math. That's a hundred mill, pre-tax, our own (401)k of burnished marble, our Madoff-moment, and it means one thing:

The Steakhouse has been saved.

Our cries of NO PRIME RIB, NO PEACE did not disappear into the vapor of time. Our people will not be forced to relieve themselves into discarded tin cans and unsoil themselves with wadded up TV Guides. We are about to enter a golden era where plasma TVs spring up like blades of grass, making the new Yankee stadium the greatest sports facility ever financed.

Did the Romans have Wi-Fi in their two-bit coliseum? Hell no.

From now on, the new Stadium, the Steakhouse that Rudy built..., the stadium with the steak sauce... the A-1 facility!

Yankee Stadium.
The Steakhouse Stadium.
A-1, Amen!

Ok, crisis over. Now let's get back to trading Swisher.

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