Tuesday, January 6, 2009

Yanks Set to Unveil Teixeira Statue


Today, at the still standing old Yankee stadium, the Yankees will introduce a solid gold statue of Mark Teixeira. This statue was designed and sculpted by the 8th grade class of PS 161 in the Bronx.

The gold was obtained by contributions from the Bernie Madoff Indonesian Gold Fund fields, located in an undisclosed area of that country.

Mark's statue, which will be moved to a prominent location outside the Steinbrenner's home in Tampa, is equipped with a waterfall feature which can simulate both tears of joy and, on bawdy occasions, to show the big guy relieving himself into an active "coin toss" pool, similar to the Trevy fountain of Rome, NY.

Rumors abound that Mark will wear his new, Ralph Lauren designed pinstriped jersey bearing the unusual number of 180.

With Teixeira on board to solidify the 16 year hole at first base for the Bronx Bombers, GM Brian Cashman will now begin addressing the Yankee's minor league system, which has already conceded the 2009 season due to lack of talent.

4 comments:

Anonymous said...

What happened at the Tex unveiling? Did he say anything? Did he stand there? Did he put on a cap? Did he smile?

Welcoming a new Yankee into this world is always a memorable experience. Did Cashman coach breathing exercizes?

Anonymous said...

He broke his foot walking to the podium. Hes going to be out 6 months.

Anonymous said...

from NYP article:

"His father John was high school teammates with Bucky Dent"

My hunch is he never even considered anywhere else.

Anonymous said...

His wife wanted him to become a Yankee. She is a babe.

However,it should be noted that her "endorsement " of the pistripe motif for her hubby came just after he was given the 180 number.

More later.

Here is more.....he used to wear a Yankee hat to games he attended in Baltimore as a kid. Or do I have that wrong?