Friday, January 16, 2009

The Wondrous Warbler needs your help

As the icy winds strangle my apple trees outside, chilling and reducing my nice, comfortable Zone 7 growing zone into a fairly tight but sexy Zone 2, I'm thinking warm thoughts about the first home run (sometime in late June) off the bat of Mark Teixeira. (Remember folks, he's a very, very slow starter.)

Hmmmm. Just what will the man in the booth say? Anyone else wondering?

"It's a T-Bomb, from the T-Man!" Nah. Dull. Boring. Done.

"Who the hell is Che Guevara , it's a homer by Mark Teixeira!" Um, no.

"It's Good News for Modern Fans! The Gospel of Mark!" Perhaps, but the atheists won't go for it.

"Jason who? It's somebody new! Mark Teixeira!!!!!" Probably not. That one has legs for only a month or two.

"Mark Teixeira's on a tear! Mark Teixeira's got no hair. Gooooo Mark!" Huh?!

"It is high, it is far, it is ... Maaaaaark-velous!" Not bad.

"On the Mark! On the Board! On to the seventh inning sponsored by Jeep!" Oh, yeah. That one's got potential.

I'm chilly. Ideas anyone?


Bman said...

"Teixeira's on a tear!"

-would not surprise me if it wound up being used by Mr. Sterling

Anonymous said...

He might go with "It's a Text Message from Teixeira!" except that it's too....modern. It'll probably be more like "Tex marks the spot!"

Wading Bird said...

Ask Teixeira to change his name to Hudson and we can hear the man in the booth shrieking:

Anonymous said...

Teixiera ta-sure comes through again.

Mike said...

How bout... it's Teixeira... with a dollar sign!

(old snl jeopardy joke anyone? ...tough crowd.)

The Rashblog said...

It's going to be "Tex MARKs the spot," especially if Nady gets traded.

But I wouldn't be surprised to hear "The Teixino."