Bud Selig not pleased with way things are going with little boys down in tropics

The NYTimes says Bud Selig, the man who saved baseball* according to his courtiers, is not a happy Bud beneath his sheen of spray-painted, acrylic hair.

The Major League Player's Union recently ruled that superagent Scott Boras did not violate regulations when he loaned a boatload of quatlooms to a teenage Dominican, who coincidentally happens to be good at playing baseball. MLB doesn't believe the union's investigation was sound.

Says the pape of rec:

At the heart of the issue is that Selig spent millions of dollars over the past year to try to clean up baseball’s operations in the Dominican Republic, which have been marred by corruption among employees of major league teams, and that young prospects are often encouraged to use performance-enhancing drugs or engage in age or identity fraud. As part of the revamping of baseball’s operations in the Dominican, Selig has put pressure on teams to punish, or dismiss, employees linked to wrongdoing. He feels if agents are also found to be part of the problem, the union should discipline them. 


This is truly wonderful bullshit.

Here's Bud Selig, railing at unions, employees, families, kids, agents, etc. -- everybody but MLB -- when he could with a stroke of his pen address the real problem: The signing of Dominican boys at age 16.

We don't sign American youths at age 16. It would be consider exploitative, if not barbaric.

Why does MLB let it happen in Latino countries.

When the age limit is 16, that means the pimps roll in at 12. That means suitcases and paper bags of money start arriving before the testicles have dropped, before the acne has even set in, long before he has a sense of right or wrong, truth or lies, fair and unfair. He's barely in 7th grade. Has he read "100 Years of Soliitude?" (OK, stupid question: Americans at 22 haven't read "100 Years of Solitude," but still, I had you there for a minute, didn't I?)

If Bud Selig wants to change baseball's incredibly corrupt and exploitive plantation system in Latin America, he should accept that it's not the agents, it's not the union, it's not the players, it's not the families... it's the entity itself -- MLB -- which is spurring everybody else to not do the right thing.

The right thing is the simple thing. Take out a piece of paper. Write: "We will not sign anybody under the age of 18. Anywhere." Then sign it.

*Diregarding lowest World Series TV ratings since Lindsay Lohan took up drinking.